Trent Lott is a PIMP!!

Hello and welcome to the afternoon delight. Its that magical time between morning and evening where everything just seems blah. So go on, indulge yourself, that's right kick off your shoes and put your feet up, lean back and just enjoy the melodies...(after all music soothes even the savage beast)

Today's random format is going to be what I have dubbed: "Just The Basics"
I am just going to give you the most important stories of the day. No more of this "presidential race" crap, unless it is something that matters to us, the everyday shlubs (we not really me, but you).

First and foremost:
As you can see from the title, Trent Lott is a PIMP!!
You may think that this will be about the Senator's upcoming resignation from politics to enter the private sector, but it is not. This is straight up about his pimping skills. Here is the story:

A Few years ago, when I was but a lad, I was working as an intern for a nameless advocacy organization. This "hill" office was very small and we didn't really do much. It was sweet because I got to come in at 10 and leave at 12 but still got credit for my internship. Pretty much my only responsibilities were to go around to all the congress"people's" offices and hand out information packets to the foreign policy staffers. As it turns out, I was just handing out crappy propoganda. Anyways, I was too lazy to go everywhere in the House, So I just stuck with the Senate. And now we get to the reason Trent Lott is a P.I.M.P. His office was ENTIRELY staffed with smoking hot 6''0 blonde chicks. Excuse me, young women. I mean the guy is ancient and he's got 6-8 hot chicks running his office. What a freaking genius. Most other Senator's offices were staffed with goofs, men, and unnatractive women. I have always wondered if hot girls from Mississippi were good at their jobs, but then I decided who cares?
And THAT is why Trent Lott is a PIMP.

In other news
Miley Cyrus is 15:
Relax guys, she's only 15. Cyrus, daughter or Mr. "Achey Brachey Heart" Billy Ray is a pop teen sensation whose concert tickets have caused a big hullaballoo this past year. Many people of an innapropriate age to be obsessed with a young teenage girl, are obsessed with this young teenage girl. The oddest thing is that they are 17-25 year old women.
This is like the Olsen twins thing only she isn't an Olsen twin, so what's the big deal. I mean if she was worth billions then I'd get it I guess. I just hope when she turns 17 its not gonna be that gross circus of "O man, I can't wait until she's 18 and legal" all over again, plus all the tabloids stories revolving around that she is almost 18.

Former "Bachelor" contestant, arrested for assault and battery:
Mary Delgado has been arrested for allegedly punching her Fiance of three years in the face when she was drunk. Ms. Delgado was previously a "Bachelor" winner who apparently did not want the life of being married to a pro fisherman. My thing is, what kind of guy is her fiance? I mean you have a rediculously hot wife, why are you upset? and why are you getting beat up by a girl who weighs less that 120 lbs.? Man up dude, don't call the cops to stop your girlfriend from smacking you around.

WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN HULKAMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU!?!
Hulk Hogan's wife, the older blonde one from the reality series, has filed for divorce. Hulk did not know about this and was informed by a reporter. Dude, I bet Mr. Hulk ripped off the reporters arms Chewbacca style and the other reporters were just too scared to include that part of the story. What schmuck would ask a guy if he had heard his wife was divorcing him? Mr. Hogan was not too happy when he heard the news. But atleast this way he can dump his idiot son with the mother. I hate that kid, what a douche. I am now nominating him for the biggest douce in the universe award ( yes I know that is not original).

Texas being bought up the the Italians!:
An uninhabited 13 acre Texas town was bought by an Italian businessman on E-bay for $3. 8 million. While I think this is very funny, I still don't like the idea of Americans selling thier land to people in other countries, it is downright unAmerican and American at the same time. What if we just sold all of Texas to Mexico? Well then Mexico would suddenly have a very legitimate football program, now wouldn't it?

Breaking News: Sean Taylor has been shot and is in critical condition in Florida.
FL is a dangerous place.

Teen get stucks in Chimney:
A 17-year old Michigan boy who was trying to get to his room in a social services center without being seen, had the bright idea to climb in through the chimney. Of course that is solid reasoning. The wannabe holiday fatman got stuck and needed to be removed by the fire department.

In other news that proves people in Michigan are dumber than everywhere else ,
Michigan man shoots pregnant cow, claims he thought it was a coyote:
A man shot and killed his neighbor's cow after claiming it was a coyote. The best part of this is that the pregnant cow weighed around 1,400 lbs. while coyotes usually range from 20-45 lbs. Apparently this was not enough of a difference. The man also apparently tried to drag the cow back to his house. I think the guy was just trying to get a free meal.

Goat killer upset over his beer:
A Wisconsin man shot and killed one of his family's 2 pet goats after his wife came home without the beer he had requested. 'nuff said.

Finally
Beauty Queen's wardrobe sabotaged:
The winner of the Puerto Rico's beauty pageant, who goes on to compete for Miss Universe, was found backstage with her face all red and covered in hives. Her makeup and gown had been coated with pepper spray. I know this is serious, but it kinda makes me chuckle. If you have ever seen "Drop Dead Gorgeous" then you will think it is comical too.

That is all for today,

keepin it real from the loop