Monday Madness

Welcome to the Afternoon Delight!

Note: I pick and choose what qualifies as news stories for my blog, so even if something important (in your world) happened today, I may not report on it.

There is a lot of news today, some of which is kind of depressing, so bear with me.

The story of the day is pretty classic. Mainly because it touches on old people's rediculousness as well as why Americans are just plain old silly.

Woman crashes car, still gets to her appointment ontime:
A 73-year old Alaskan woman drove her car into her hair salon while trying to make an appointment. Police said the parking lot did have snow on it. The woman still made her appointment though and got her haired styled at the salon.

What I think: God Bless America. Perhaps the snow was at fault for this crash, or perhaps it was because the woman was 73. I don't know the statistics, but I am willing to bet a significant amount of pennies that this is not the first time a 73 year old has crashed into a building. Take away old people's liscenses and get them out of the way on Sunday mornings. The real beauty of this story is that not only did the shop stay open, but they gave the woman who destroyed their store a haircut.

Japan Launches massive whale-hunting fleet:
Japan has launched a number of ships towards the artic ocean in order to try and kill 1035 whales of an assorted variety. Greenpeace has its own 1 ship in the area and has vowed to "track" the fleet and take direct non-violent hippie action to disrupt their hunting.

My Two Cents: Look out for angry hippies in a boat. They are going to follow the Japanese ships (with their 1) and shout really mean things to the whalers. If they must, the hippies will probably use their secret weapon: bad karma. While I don't agree with whaling an endagered species (the humpback whale I think), which is what Japan is doing I don't think smelly hippies on a tug boat is really what is going to stop them.

The death toll in Bangladesh has grown to over 3,100.

Three boys 8-9 years old charged with rape:
Three boys aged 8 and 9 have been arrested and charged with assualting, kidnapping, and raping an 11-year old girl. The boys are being tried as adults.

My Two Cents: While I do not doubt that they kidnapped and assaulted the girl, I feel like rape charges could be kinda hard. As far as I know, 8-9 year old don't have sex. They might in todays crazy world, but can they physically have sex at 8 years old? Also, trying them adults I think is a little much. Obviously they have issues, but I think there is an age that should be early enough to say "these kids need help" and give them the appropriate treatment, as well as place them in a juvenille institution. As opposed to placing them in juvy till their 18 and then sending them to prison.

Hannah Montana tickets sell for $13,000:
Tickets for the sold out show in Indianapolis sold for 13k with the proceeds going to the Peyton Manning Children's Hospital. The show is being considered as the most popular event ever in Indy. This is coming off of the their team's Super Bowl win last year. Poor Peyton, he will never be as popular as 14-year old Miley Cyrus.

I found an article about Loggerhead" turtles. These things are massive! they weigh over 250 lbs. That is crazy. To see a picture follow the link. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21881087/

Woman stabs dogs in buttocks:
A pittbull ran into a neighbor's house and attacked her cat. The Minnesotan woman acted quickly and stabbed the dog in the rear with a kitchen knife. The cat later died of injuries and the dog is fine.
My Two Cents: What a bizzare story.

13-year old boy arrested for drunk driving:
In a classic case of good parenting, a Michigan man, who was too drunk to drive, gave his truck-keys to his 13 year old son. The problem was, other than the fact the kids was 13, was that the son was also drunk. YEEHAW! go rednecks.

Twins invent wedgie-proof undies:
Two 8 year old twins have invented a pair of underwear that will break in half if they are attempted to be wedgied. This really isnt a new invention, kids have been cutting their underwear straps since almost the creation of the wedgie, which as far as I know, started when underwear did. However, I feel like this will not deter bullies, since now they can just make nerds go commando everyday.

The restaurant that is home to the $25,000 dessert has been shut down due to a roach and mice infestation. This is priceless.

In an poorly done survey, someone listed the top 5 Dustin Hoffman movies of all time and Hook was not one of them. After further investigation it wasn't even one of the pollable options! The guy that made up that list is a moron.

And finally, please read through this list of Princes, there is an error for one of them, see if you can find it. I'll post the answer tommorow. Now read it, PRONTO!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21821451/

Keepin it real from the loop