Late Night

Its Thursday night and I just must write about this.
I'm sorry I havent posted, I have been really busy and have no time to keep you people updated on the world at large. Hopefully soon i'll have some more time.

Anyways, I am watching Last Coming Standing and im not usually into these reality TV competitions such as Nashville Star, American Idol, Hells Kitchen, America's Next Top Model, Project Runway, Top Chef, Biggest Loser, Survivor, Big brother etc. Hell I don't even know that many of them, but this one is hella funny.

Anways, Last comic standing is not the point. The point is while on a commercial break an Aleve commercial comes on and you have this older gent, probably in his late 50's maybe mid 60's I don't know how to judge. Anyways, he goes "I have bad knees, but then how can I do this?" He then proceeds to start dancing up a storm "cutting a rug" if you will all over the screen. The point is to be I guess that Aleve makes him young again, heals joints, etc.
But they never show his whole body! Its like an Austin Powers movie. You see his waist down, then you see waist up. ITS NOT THE GUY DANCING!

You'd think that Aleve could splurge a little over its apparent budget and get an old guy who actually can dance. Whats the point of this commercial? someone got paid for that, and that is what pisses me off. I could've been paid to do better.

Just needed to rant.

If anyone feels like "guest blogging" please feel free to go ahead and post on the comments page. I put it to you.

Keepin it real from the loop

"Hello again my friend....hellooo"

That was a little Neil Diamond comin atcha.
Ask me how I began listening (albeit very limitedly) to Neil Diamond, and I answer: "Saving Silverman".
One of my favorite movies and a true Jack Black triumph. It even makes you not dislike Jason Biggs.

I would like to apologize to all my avid readers (all 2-10 of you) but I have not had time to post lately because I have been very super busy at work.

For the 800th visitor I did get something for you.
http://www.123greetings.com/congratulations/for_everyone/everyone2.html

800, wow thats not too shabby for 10 people reading a blog over 2-3 months.

I don't have a lot of time right now, but I found this parrot story funny. So please enjoy.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080521/ap_on_fe_st/odd_japan_parrot_returns

Thats all for today

BIG NEWS!!

Shania Twain is leaving her huband! FINALLY. I think I may have an in.
Man, I've have a thing for her for so many years , the time has come.

The UN has blamed the "teetering" world economy on the U.S., namely the plunging house market. There would be no world economy without the U.S.! Am I being nationalistic and self-important? Maybe, but the UN is a prentious bunch of d-bags. How about, you imagine a world economy for a second WITHOUT the U.S., and then tell me how it looks.
I thought so.

EXO-Squad, one of my favorite sunday morning cartoon series when I was younger, has finally caught up with real life. http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/05/15/robotic.soldier.ap/index.html
This show was of good of course, because this was before shows had to stop being violennt. Shows like GI Joe, Exo-squad, wing commander, double dragon, hell even street sharks (that was the end of my sunday cartoon years) were entertaining because they were violent. Now shows are too PC and sissy, and as a result America's youth are PC and sissy.

Man I am being negative this morning.

Solar bra's that can charge cell phones and IPods. Next time your battery is low, just plug it into your girlfriend's chest.
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUST29336420080514

HAHA. A Welschman drank a box of wine, blacked out, and then dressed up as Darth Vader. He then proceeded to attack 3 memebers of the Church of Jedi. I swear. All I can think of is the Triumph skit where he is outside the line to get Star Wars II tickets. HAHAHA its so hilarious.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24604338/

Well, that's all for today. I'm going to leave with one of the newest greatest hits videos of all time.
Enjoy.
http://deadspin.com/5009129/orioles-magic--uh-catch-it-or-something

Keepin it real from the loop

Politics and Sex Tapes

I guess those two aren't necessarily part of different categories.

Today, I have some rants as well as some fantastic articles including a raunchy sex tape that would make Jenna Jameson blush. Well maybe not Jenna.

First off I want to mention top Clinton advisor Terry McAuliffe's appearance on "Meet the Press". I know this has been done to death by Comedy Central, but I wanted to just say it again. The guy told Tim Russert, the host of the show, that Hillary would keep on fighting. Here is a quote from their interview:

"But it's not impossible for Hillary Clinton to win," said McAuliffe. "A lot of people have said that. Big Russ, if he were sitting here today -- nothing's impossible. Jack McAuliffe, if they were with us today, they're probably both in heaven right now Tim, probably having a scotch, looking down saying, you know what: this fight goes on. It's good for the Democratic Party. Millions of people coming out to vote, it's exciting."

This implication was that Mr. Russert Sr. or "Big Russ" was dead. To which Tim responded:
"Big Russ is in the Barcalounger still watching this...God bless him."

So my thing is, this is a rediculously stupid mistake. 1) It's just straight-up embarassing to McAuliffe as a person, calling a guy's father dead to his face when he is alive. 2) It reflects poorly on the Clinton campaign since this is supposed to be her top advisor, her campaign co-chair, and he clearly did not do enough research before appearing on the show. I mean, if you don't know that someone is dead, you don't make a comment about them.
The guy looks like a boob. I mean that in the older "my parents generation" way. Not a breast.

Also in politicsland, the US Ambassador to Zimbabwe (the country with all the election turmoil) was stopped by police outside of a hospital, where he and others with him, had just visited victims of violence from the election scandal, which was rampant. The Ambassador was told to stop because there was concern over photographs taken in the hospital, however he was never told he was under arrest (woulda been a bad move). He then told the police "no" and lifted the barrier blocking their car, then his entourage drove off.
What a pimp. This guy knows they are not going to touch him, so why should he listen to a bunch of police/security guards. Like they would arrest a U.S. Diplomat, AMBASSADOR even more so.

Now for the real news.
A sex tape has just been released that is ranchier than Pamela and Tommy Lee's best seller. It makes Paris Hilton's and Kim Kardasian's (however is f-ing spelled) tapes look like cheap attempts for publicity. O wait, they were. The tape my friend, is titled:
"Seal caught on tape molesting a penguin"
O yes, its that naughty. Scientists discovered the act when observing elephant seals in Antarctica, when they noticed a young male Antarctic fur seal subduing a king penguin.
"At first we thought it was hunting the penguin, but then it became clear that his intentions were rather more amorous," - Stated one of the scientitians.
Another excerpt from the the article:
"The roughly 240-pound seal subdued the 30-pound adult penguin by lying on it. The hapless bird of unknown sex struggled, rapidly flapping its flippers and attempting to stand and flee, without luck. The seal then alternated between resting on the penguin and thrusting its pelvis at the bird in vain attempts to insert its penis for 45 minutes"
That penguin is going to need a lot of therapy.

An Australian man was arrested when he failed to restrain his 5-year old child with a seat belt while driving. The seatbelt was already in use, to hold a case of beer from falling. Finally someone has their priorities straight.

Celebrity British chef Gordon Ramsay wants England to outlaw out of season fruits and vegetables. I shit you not. Why? either for attention, or because he really deeply cares about British cuisine.
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN0949726820080509

I was going to rant about how the UN, or U.S. or someone should just invade and overthrow the Junta in "Burma" or "Myanmar", in order for 2,00,000 more people to avoid death. But I don't feel like it anymore. Thoughts on that topic?

Thats all for today. Leave a post.

Keepin it real from the loop

Gooood Morning

First off I'd like to start off by saying hello.

Hello.

I have some stories and I have some rants for today. I feel like I am starting to become one of those old men who love complaining about everything in rants. Well let me tell something to joo, they've got it right.

Three teenagers were arrested for decapitating a corpse and smoking weed through its skull. I shit you not. I'm not sure what else to write. I know its a "gateway" drug, but its supposed to lead to other drugs, no necro acts.
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/5764886.html

78-year old blind man bowls a perfect game. How does he know?
That is a very great accomplishment, nonetheless for the fact that he is blind. Good for him.
http://www.kcci.com/sports/16201286/detail.html

Video of the day:
A british beauty queen who is running for a seat in parliament. She wants to use sexy to get more young people to vote. FINALLY sexy is being used for something useful.
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/world/2008/05/08/janis.british.beauties.cnn

This dude took pictures with a bachelorette party and THEN tried to rob them. As they say in the Guinness commercials "BRILLIANT!"
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24520983/

After losing to Lithuania 48-0, the Austrian rugby team got drunk and stripped in the street outside of a bar. HAHA, they were caught and put on youtube. HAHAHAHA
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN0628612720080506

A New York woman has filed a $100 claim against the town of Norwalk,Connecticuit, saying a family outing to the Aquarium was ruined by dog poo.
The woman claims her child's shoes, along with the entire outing, were ruined when her 1-year-old stepped in dog poo outside the aquarium's Garage . City attorney M. Jeffry Spahr says the official response is that her claim is denied and in his words, "poop happens."
Kelly DeBrocky of Mahopac, N.Y., wants the city to reimburse her for $54 she spent replacing her toddler's ruined shoes and the expenses for parking and aquarium admission on April 5.
Fuckin NYers.

And now for my rant. Today it is directed at people who did NOT go to Ivy League schools, (those who did are a whole diff discussion) yet still think they are better than you. Why am I pissed off? Because while this is not too uncommon in life, it recently happened to me yesterday in my LSAT class. Yes, I am studying for the LSATs. We were talking about how it might have been easier to take the course in college, since everyone in the class now has full time jobs and on top of all the studying we have to do, our social lives don't exist. Then there is this girl in my class, let us call her "uggo". So this is one of those people who always has to one up someone else, as well as throw themself into the conversation. One person says: "Yea, I worked really hard in school and got good grades, and I still had a bunch of free time" to which this girl replies "Well, I went to like the hardest most competitive school ever, so, y'know it was different for me" First off, she doesn't know where any of us went to school. She went to Johns Hopkins. ooo. I'm not knocking Hopkins, I have friends who went there and its a great school. It's not fucking MIT.
Where does she get off 1) assuming she went to a better school than everyone else in the room and 2) assuming that Hopkins makes her a better person. I would like to add people who went to Wash U (GREAT school), Michigan, Duke/UNC to this list. Please feel free to add anymore. Oh, and Barnard. They are the fucking worst, because these girls go around telling people they go to Columbia, when really they didn't get in to Columbia. They are pretentious Liars.

Now I went to a state school, and a damn good one at that. Without us, you wouldn't have Kermit the Frog or UnderArmor (a little trivia for you guys). I spoke with the mother of a medical school applicant the other day, and she was talking about how her daughter goes to an Ivy school but is not doing well and getting "A's" (I don't know if that means's B's or failing, but either way it must be hard to live up to this woman's standards). She then says to me when talking about wanting to boost her daughter's GPA: "What if she transfers to somewhere, like a state school, where everything is easier".
Fucking Snob.

So FU Uggo from Hopkins. One day you will make a comment like that to someone who went to Yale and they will put you in your rightful place in the pecking order of school snobs. I can only hope it will be soon.
and FU mom who thinks state school's are a joke, I hope you get attacked by muppets in sleek, thermal athletic wear.

Thats all for today, leave one.

Keepin it real from the loop

Last wishes

This is the only way to go out in style.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24463225/

Breaking News!!

Barbara Walters had an affair with a U.S. Senator. Isn't it funny when all this stuff just comes out in one week? Clemens had an affair with a 15-year old country singer...Clemens had an affair with John Daly' wife (or ex-wife), and now Ms. Walters was running around with congressman.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/books/05/01/tv.walters.affair.ap/index.html

Tommorow we find out that Katie Couric has been having an affair with Tiger woods, who's wife has been sleeping with O'bama, who's wife has been sleeping with Tom Brockaw. Meanwhile itll be simultaneously announced that Derek Jeter had an affair with Faith Hill (who is a stone cold hotty)

On a second note Deborah Jeane Palfrey, AKA the "D.C. Madam" was found dead in Florida today. According to police she hung herself. NO WAY. She was absolutely positively no questions asked murdered. You think all those D.C. elites were just going to sit idly by?
My bet is with the Dems, since Spitzer they cannot afford another major incident. They will lose all credibility. Especially if it was another VP hopeful.

That's all for now. Leave one. Please. Let me know you care.

Keepin it real from the loop