The weekends a'comin

Sorry about not posting yesterday, I was in meetings all day. No time for blogs....

Welcome to the Afternoon Delight!
There is a TON of stuff for me today, so without further ado.

Hilary Clinton does not age well:
This headline cannot be found on any news site (atleast not today) but I find it to be pertinent information. There is an article on the CNN ticker about hilary pledging to change Bush's mandate on AIDS education blah blah blah. The REAL story is the picture that accompanies the article. She don't look too good. Now maybe its just me, but our past two presidents have not looked aged or haggard at all. I am not endorsing any politician yet, especially liberals, however in the democratic arena, I would prefer to have a good looking O'bama meeting with foreign officials and having photo ops than Hilary. I mean if that's what she looks like now, imagine her in 4 years! woof. Take a look on the CNN ticker to see what I mean.

In an update from a previous story
Cops killed in high speed chase did not follow procedure:
Apparently My assesment of the situation on Wednesday was not accurate. But then again, what do I know of such matters? According to the police chief, the two officers did not follow procedure when placing the road spikes. If they had done it correctly, they would have placed extending bands(or ropes or something) that run underneath the spikes, and would then be able to remove them without having to run back into the road. It is still a horrible tradgedy, but this somewhat, but not entirely, changes my opinion on who is at fault.

Jehova's Witness dies from religous beliefs:
Well not so much FROM his beliefs as DUE to his beliefs. A 14-year old boy with lukemia died this morning after refusing to receive a blood transfusion. Jehova's witnesses do not believe in transfusions since they believe it makes one "unclean". The Boy's biological parents, who are not his legal guardians, tried to force him to get the transfusion but a judge ruled earlier that he fully understood his actions, and upheld his choice to deny the treatment. There was an episode of "Scrubs" that dealt with this issue (and probably every other hospital show, but I don't watch them) but in the show they found a way to treat the patient. Unfortunately in real life, things don't always work out.
I wonder what the reasonings behind the "uncleanliness" of transfusions is. Is it any blood? what if there was a blood bank for just JW's? Then when aboslutely neccessary, in a life threatening situation such as this instance, they can get permission from their spiritual leader to get the transfusion.

Late night jobs are carcenogenic: (did I spell that right?)
A study by the International Agency for Research on Cancer has found a higher rate of breast and prostate cancer in men and women whose jobs begin after dark. I know this might be true, but isnt every thing in the world cancerous? Also should I be worried? I was a bouncer for 2 years and the job was almost completely performed at night. Chew on that!

In another updated story of less importance
Cell phone NOT the killer:
Contrary to original beliefs, the South Korean man found dead with an exploded cell phone is his pocket, was in fact murdered. One of his co-workers has confessed to "accidentally" killing the man when backing up his mining drill. I assume this is a large piece of machinery on wheels. The company who makes the phones, LG, has come out and said "na na, we told you so!" They are a bunch of know-it-alls is what they are.

Body of missing woman found...PORN STAR!!!
That last part was just to get your attention, do not worry, Jenna Jamison and all your other favorites are fine. The body of an 18 year old student who had been missing has been found in El Dorado Kansas. The police have discovered that the girl was apparently also a secret internet porn star who went by the name "Zoey Zane" (not nearly as creative as say, Misty Piper, but it works). Police have repeatedly said that her disappearance was in no way connected to her online alter-ego, but that because of the media coverage on her being a porn star, they are getting flooded with false leads and are having difficulty conducting the investigation: "The issue of the Internet and the spinoff of that has been literally crippling our investigation," the police chief stated.
The great thing about this is that the ariticle on CNN, one our most respected news sites, the headline reads "Body of missing porn star found". Real classy, way to help.

UK woman jailed in Sudan:
I don't think i've been covering this, but now I just have to. In the past few days, a UK woman teaching in the Sudan, has been arrested for allowing her 7-year old class to name their teddybear "Mohammed". She originally was going to be whipped, but was acquited of all the counts except one. She is currently serving her 15 day sentence in prison and then will be deported. The reason I feel it neccessary now, is becuase thousands of protesters are rally outside of the prison with swords, SWORDS!, and demanding her execution. I hope she remains safe and is then safely returned to the UK. HOWEVER, just imagine this situation for a second. An angry mob breaks into the jail, takes her out and executes her (it has happened before in numerous other countries). Now we have a murdered UK citizen in the Sudan who was in the custody of the gov't. Some shit would go down, I have no idea what, but something crazy.

Man Slipped Girlfriend Abortion Pills; Causes Two miscarriages:
A married Wisconsin man has been convicted for giving abortion pills to his mistress without her knowing. The pills caused two of her pregnancies to miscarry. He already has a 3-year old with the mistress. She had become suspicious, and after the second miscarriage she had her blood tested, and the chemicals from the pills were found. She immediately contacted the authorities.
The lesson for men in this situation is threefold. 1) Do not cheat on your wife. 2) If you do, always wear a condom. 3) Drugging your girlfriend with abortion pills is not a viable option.

This next one really pisses me off.
Woman Loses 140 lbs.:
A Massachussetts woman lost 140 pounds after having weight loss surgery. What pisses me off, is that this is listed as one of those inspirational stories, like "I finally turned my life around, and had surgery to fix my problems". I am not saying the procedure is wrong, good for her she can now ride a horse (it was from the article), but this story should not be paraded around as an inspirational success story. Also, the surgery she had was basically they put a band over the top of your stomach, to limit the amount of food that can be stored there. Then there is a pouch that collects extra food and you can empty it..some gross stuff. But my thing is, its been a year and she went from 280 to 140. So now that shes 140, she still has the band in place. Does it just stay in there? won't she keep losing weight?

Evil Teenage Mastermind Arrested:
An 18 year old New Zealander has been arrested as the "gang leader" of a group of hackers who created a virus that takes control of other computers, which then in turn unbeknownst to the owners, commit cyber crimes....dun dun dunnnnn. Why is it that all the big hackers in the world are always teenagers? Its never a 50 year old that has spent his entire life coming up with the worlds most evil virus, its always a 16-18 year old nerd who just gets the better of the world's governments. I mean I saw the movie with Matthew Broderick, which name escapes me at the moment (I know I know), so case in point.

Follow this link for some disturbing information regarding a nuclear black market. It will help you sleep well at night. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22022256/

And now for the fun stuff.
First off is the Story of the Day:
The story of the day is that a cell phone company in England has developed a toilet tracking system. This way whenever someone really needs to go to the loo, all they need to do is check their phone to find the closest pee spot. Brilliant! (in the voice of the guiness guys, not the annoying woman anchor on ESPN) http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/11/29/sat.lav.ap/index.html

The Caper of the day goes to an unknown thief in Ireland, who stole a trailor from the Guiness factory. Included in this trailor were 180 kegs of Guiness, 180 Kegs of Budweiser, and 90 barrels of Carlesberg. I want to become friends with this guy, and just party for one year. He is set for life.

Italian woman stupid:
That was my own headline. Perhaps shes not stupid, but just very oddly snobbish or spoiled? An Italian woman was kicked off of her flight from Milan to Rome becuase she refused to move her 1-meter long stuffed crocodile doll. WTF? I dunno but that's just silly (you think I could make that my catchphrase? or has someone else copyrighted it? maybe I could just get a reality TV show and say it alot in order to try and claim it like my own, like "thats hot").

Speaking of Paris
Paris Hilton wants a baby, for rediculuos reasons: Alternatively this could read "Paris Hilton thinks babies are toys":
Paris Hilton has stated recently that she wants a baby so that it can play with her less attractive friend Nicole Ritchie's baby. Atleast she truthfully gave the reason why. I mean clearly she sees babies as toys, but then again if she did have one, its not like she would have to lift a finger or raise it or anything. She also stated that while she does not have a boyfriend or found Mr. right, she is still open to starting a family now. Sign me up, I'd be more set than K-fed.

Moving on to his ex sugarmama
Investigators find poopy couches and a secret sex room:
OK, I take back any defense I made for Britney last week. Please read this article, PLEASE!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22013594/

Conan O'brien is the shiz:
Conan has stated that he will pay the entire non-striking staff's salaries of his late night show for the next week. The studio is laying all the rest of the staff off for atleast the remainder of the strike, but Conan is gonna pay his guys out of pocket for a week. Bravo

Couple offering $10,000 for missing parrot:
This parrot has brooklyn accent. So if you run into a parrot with a Brooklyn accent in NY city, you have just won 10k. get huntin.

And lastly,
Brooke Shields is going to be in a new show, I hope its a comedy, called "Lipstick Jungle"
I want to be paid to watch that show and review it. That is all.

Happy birthday to moo cow.

Looking forward to KC this week, houns brining the bottle.

keepin it real from the loop.

Wacky Wednesday Part Duex ( I couldn't think of anything today)

Welcome, Welcome to the afternoon delight!

There is a lot of news today so lets get down to it. No more beating around the bush, just a straightforward approach to today's stories. I am not going to wait any longer before giving you the news. No sir, not me, I will not procrastinate another second, knowing the frustration caused by people who ramble on too long without getting to the point. Well I always get straight to the point without any dillydallying. No, I will will not dillydally, fiddle-faddle, or any other silly words, I will get right to it! And here it is:

Make sure to check out my op-ed in the sports section below. It could very well change the dynamic of your Sunday.

First off some politikin'
Democratic race now between Bill Clinton and Oprah:
That's right. Personally I'd go for Bill, but that's just because he is just so gosh darn charming. I mean c' mon anyone of you ladies out there would rip your clothes off in a second if he asked you to the correct way.
Anyways Bill has come out and started spewing support for Hilary, while the big "O" is going to throw her support behind the little "O" possibly creating an "O Voltron". Many people who have been polled about these two supporters confess that they are swayed by the supporting cast. Those polled have said that they trust Bill due to his experience, but not so much Hilary, while others still will support O'Bamma (haha extra "m") because Oprah told them to. And we all know that Oprah currently controls an army of non-thinkers who will do whatever she says.

Nazi Archives now open to public:
That's pretty much it. This is just really important so I included it. I just have nothing to say on the matter.

Two FL police officers killed in high speed chase:
This is a little misleading because the cops were killed in the chase, but they themselves were not chasing. What happened was that 25 police units were chasing a stolen car. So first off, is 25 units really neccessary? Is it that easy to draw half the police force away with one car? Also, the two officers placed spikes down on the road in order to stop the stolen vehicle. When the vehicle did not come, they began removing the spikes when another police cruiser swerved trying to avoid the spikes on the ground, and slammed into the officers removing the spikes. One of the officers was engaged and getting married soon, the other was going to be his best man.
I feel that the cop driving the car is mostly at fault here. From what I have read, if there were that many units after these two guys in one car, one less unit wouldn't be catastrophic, so where does it seem like a good idea to swerve away from the spikes and into a crowd? dude, sacrifice the car's tires and go into the spikes, if thats what it takes to avoid hitting people, let alone other officers.

Missing Pregnant Woman:
An Oklahoma woman has gone missing yesterday. The woman was reportedly meeting a man in a park, in order to inquire as to whether or not he was the father of the child she was carrying. Neither have been seen since. My money is on her being abducted by him.

Man kills family:
24 year old Lamar Platt confessed to NY police that he shot and killed his mother and brother, and then chopped up their bodies and threw them into the river. I am not sure what drives a man to kill his family, but I feel that its a different situation then regular murders. Both are wrong, but someone who kills random people on the street has some very different stuf fon his mind that a guy who kills and chops up his family. I can only wonder as to what he was so enraged about. Do you send someone like that to jail? or straight to a psycho ward?

Brooke Astor's 112 year old son charged with "pilfering" her estate:
Well technically he is 83 but still its funny. The late 105 year old philanthropist's son has been accused of mistreating his mother in her last years and embezzeling money for himself. He probably should have thought of stealing this money when he could still walk. I know money is useful, but I would rather have 100's of millions of dollars in my 40's than in my 80's.

Update: I was watching "Sgt. Bilko" during my lunch break today and the late great Phil Hartman uses the phrase "by gum". I would like here and now to challenge all of you to use this phrase in your daily lives. I am going to do the same, and by gum I mean it.

In local idiot news
Man tries to open account with $1,000,000 bill:
I don't know what else goes along with this story, other than the fact that this man is stupid. He did attempt to create the bill and it looks ok, but if you were going to put that much effort into counterfeiting wouldn't you also know that they have never made a $1,000,000 bill? and this creative man wins today's idiot award.

Wife wants Fosset declared dead:
The wife of millionaire adventurer Steve Fosset wants her husband declared legally dead. Fosset disappeared while flying a private plane to California in September. Neither he nor the plane has been found. His wife wants him declared dead, personally if my spouse went missing I would want to keep searching until something was found, and I certainly would wait longer than 2 1/2 months. But then again, I do not stand to inherit millions of dollars. Shady shady business if you ask me.

This is by far the coolest video you will see today
6 year old boy plays with 20 ft. Python:
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/offbeat/2007/11/28/vo.boy.cambodia.snake.ap

In another awesome video, check out the exosuits.
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/tech/2007/11/27/yeates.ut.robo.soldier.ksl

I have not been following the O.J. case this time around, but annoyingly it is still in the daily news. Booooo.

Roethlisberger arrested:
But not the fun one. A man as far as I know NOT related to Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger (but how common could that name really be? I mean c'mon) has been arrested for displaying banners deemed "too graphic", depicting photos of aborted fetuses. He was hanging out by the mall. What if he was just doing his christmas shopping?

Cell phones kill!!
A South Korean man was found dead yesterday. The cause is assumed to be his cell phone. He was found with his cell phone in his shirt pocket. The battery of the phone had exploded. This was bound to happen. Look out for killer cellphones, thats all I gotta say.

The word of the day comes from none other than Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad..adad. In an address to following an Iranian securty meeting, the president declared that Israel is doomed to collapse and referring to the Annapolis conference said "Soon, even the most politically doltish individuals will understand that this conference was a failure from the beginning"
So if you could not find it, today's word is doltish. Try that one on for size.

A British woman mauled to death in Bulgaria:
A woman walking her dog was attacked by a pack of wild dogs who gnawed her legs to the bone. Apparently roving packs of wild dogs is a problem that plagues the Bulgarian countryside. She was living in Bulgaria with her partner, but no other reasons have yet been released. The lesson learned is don't move FROM England TO Bulgaria. That is reverse immigration.

I was gonna go into deatil about how China is starting WWIII, but I don't feel like it anymore. Basically China would not let the U.S.S. Kitty Hawk go to port in Hong Kong after originally granting them permission. This was for Thanksgiving, and many of the crews family members had flown into Hong Kong from Japan in order to see the sailors. China has not given any reasoning yet as to why they would not allow entry.

Marie Osmond:
Marie Osmond is the perfect example along with Flava Flaaaaaav! as to why reality television shows (I am counting "dancing with the stars" as reality) can revitalize a person's career. Who the fuck cared about Marie Osmond before this show, and to be honest, who will care for her now? I applaud her for milking her exposure on this show for as much as it was worth. Bravo.

Dustin Hoffman’s New Year’s resolution is all picked out. “I do have to stop picking my nose, especially in the car,” the “Mr. Magorium” star confessed. “I'll be driving and I will catch someone trying to take my picture" (I stole that from MSNBC but I thought it was funny, but boo to the crappy "picked out" line)

Madonna abuses animals:
That would be a catchy headline. The pop madame has been chided by animal rights groups for dyeing sheep different colors for her most recent video. While her methods were animal safe, others make attempt to copy her idea in less safe measures.

Sports:
I would like to discuss for a moment, the recent slide the sports show "The Throwdown" has been experiencing. This slide is not necessarily in listeners, and much as the quality of the show. I feel that it is a quality program but the past two weeks are working against it. Two weeks ago the show was just cancelled, and this past week one of the two hosts forgot the "shows before hos" mantra and did not appear on the show. This required a "troopers effort" from the other host to keep it alive, but who wants to listen to one guy talk? I hope that this coming week will really revitalize the show, as well as not have any off-color remarks about #21's recent tragedy.

Dangerous Dave officially sucks at SoC

Keepin it real from the loop.

A sad day

Welcome to the Afternoon update sad day edition

Sean "The Punisher" Taylor died this morning:
Sean Taylor is widely known as the hardest hitter in the NFL. Many team were afraid to throw it in his direction because they knew the receivers would get hurt. Early Monday Morning a man broke into his house and shot him in the leg. The bullet severed the Femeral Artery and Taylor had lost too much blood. He died last night. Taylor was also an acclaimed actor appearing in numerous Eastern Motors commercials and always reminding us that "our job is our credit". He will be sorely missed by all.

For a bit of light news....
A quick pronto shout out for giving me this next story

18 year old girl break up with Palestinian boyfriend on "Dr. Phil":
Yep. Apparently they met online in '05 and the girl even tried to go visit him in his West Bank town. I would like to point out that this girl is from Michigan (just another example). The girl dissapeared from her mother's home last year and tried to fly to Israel, however she was stopped in Jordan and handed over to U.S. authorities who returned her to the states. The girl went on the Dr. Phil show and broke up with her cyber boyfriend over a video link. She said he was verbally abusive and controlling. He denied these claims, threw his mike down, and walked away.
My thing is what the hell were they going to do once she got there? I mean, a blonde 17-18 year old girl just hanging around in the West Bank for a few days? are you kidding me? I think this could have become a much more interesting story if she had not been stopped in Jordan. Once again this shows why Dr. Phil is stupid, and that mustaches are out.

Panda watch!
The panda cub at the Whales Vagina Zoo (thats san diego for those of you who are not cultured) has been named zhen zhen which means precious. I wonder who gets to name these things? Giant pandas are fun, cuddly, and playful to look at, but if you get close to one they will rip your head off.

Iceland best place in world to live:
That is until all the people who saw this list move there and ruin it. In a study done by the U.N. Iceland has overtaken Norway as the best place to live. The study also shows that the 22 worst countries to live in are ALL in sub-saharan Africa with Sierra Leone being the worst. Hmmm I would have never guess that at all.............Do you think they should just not publish the bottom of the list? and just put up like the top 50, that way nobody's feelings are hurt.

Killer on the loose:
A man serving a life sentence since 1988 has escaped and been on the lam for 2 days now. He escaped by hiding in a garbage can and then being wheeled out by another inmate. Don't worry folks this was only a medium security prison, he's not a mass murderer or anything. I wonder how easy it must be to escape a minimum security prison? must be a friggin walk in the park if you can get out in a garbage can.

And now for why the French are stupidheads.
2 days of intense rioting leaves dozens of police officers injured:
First off, why are the cops the only ones getting hurt? I mean c'mon, send in the College Park police with some pepper spray super soakers and their riot tank and they would quell this little "riot" in 20 minutes. The riots began over the death of two youuuuuuths (a little joe pesci reference) who crashed their motor bike into a cop car. They crashed into the cop, not the other way around. Anyways, the rioters are insisting that the cops fled the scene, while other witnesses claim the cops raced over an tried to resucitate the victims via mouth-to-mouth. The boys were of African descent.
So here it is, the rioters, (also of african and north-african heritage) are rioting over the fact that 2 of their youths travelling at unsafe high speeds on a non-registered motor-bike, ran through a red light, and then crashed into a cop car and died in the crash. What exactly is the issue here? I don't think this has anything to do with the riots, I think these people (the french) just wanted a good riot, or maybe they are angry about being a minority in another country. I dunno, but this has a lot more to do with the growing minority population in Europe than it does with two kids doing something stupid, and the cops are not in any way at fault, except for the fact that they are French.

I don't get this one
Man in bank wants to go to India:
An Indian man walked into a bank in Orlando today and demanded a ticket to India. From what I have read, he did not brandish any weapons and was not commiting a robbery. The police were called and the man sat in a chair and refused to leave. Here is the good part, after a "two hour standoff", the man was taken into custody. TWO HOURS!?!?! the guy was sitting in a chair, 2 bouncers at a bar could have gotten this resolved faster. Now I know it is possible he could have been strapped with a bomb, blah blah blah, but isnt there a security guard? couldt he have escorted the man out? all he wanted to do was go to India, so deport him.

In other sad news, the inventor of Gatorade has died today of kidney failure, he was 80.
Just a note, the moron who wrote this article forgot to mention the late Dr. Cade in the past tense by using such lines as "he still plays with the University of Florida Orchestra and in his church". This was in an article announcing the guy is dead. What a moron.

I wish I could make a living on reading the news and pointing out how stupid some people are.

Thats all for today,

Keepin it real from the loop

Trent Lott is a PIMP!!

Hello and welcome to the afternoon delight. Its that magical time between morning and evening where everything just seems blah. So go on, indulge yourself, that's right kick off your shoes and put your feet up, lean back and just enjoy the melodies...(after all music soothes even the savage beast)

Today's random format is going to be what I have dubbed: "Just The Basics"
I am just going to give you the most important stories of the day. No more of this "presidential race" crap, unless it is something that matters to us, the everyday shlubs (we not really me, but you).

First and foremost:
As you can see from the title, Trent Lott is a PIMP!!
You may think that this will be about the Senator's upcoming resignation from politics to enter the private sector, but it is not. This is straight up about his pimping skills. Here is the story:

A Few years ago, when I was but a lad, I was working as an intern for a nameless advocacy organization. This "hill" office was very small and we didn't really do much. It was sweet because I got to come in at 10 and leave at 12 but still got credit for my internship. Pretty much my only responsibilities were to go around to all the congress"people's" offices and hand out information packets to the foreign policy staffers. As it turns out, I was just handing out crappy propoganda. Anyways, I was too lazy to go everywhere in the House, So I just stuck with the Senate. And now we get to the reason Trent Lott is a P.I.M.P. His office was ENTIRELY staffed with smoking hot 6''0 blonde chicks. Excuse me, young women. I mean the guy is ancient and he's got 6-8 hot chicks running his office. What a freaking genius. Most other Senator's offices were staffed with goofs, men, and unnatractive women. I have always wondered if hot girls from Mississippi were good at their jobs, but then I decided who cares?
And THAT is why Trent Lott is a PIMP.

In other news
Miley Cyrus is 15:
Relax guys, she's only 15. Cyrus, daughter or Mr. "Achey Brachey Heart" Billy Ray is a pop teen sensation whose concert tickets have caused a big hullaballoo this past year. Many people of an innapropriate age to be obsessed with a young teenage girl, are obsessed with this young teenage girl. The oddest thing is that they are 17-25 year old women.
This is like the Olsen twins thing only she isn't an Olsen twin, so what's the big deal. I mean if she was worth billions then I'd get it I guess. I just hope when she turns 17 its not gonna be that gross circus of "O man, I can't wait until she's 18 and legal" all over again, plus all the tabloids stories revolving around that she is almost 18.

Former "Bachelor" contestant, arrested for assault and battery:
Mary Delgado has been arrested for allegedly punching her Fiance of three years in the face when she was drunk. Ms. Delgado was previously a "Bachelor" winner who apparently did not want the life of being married to a pro fisherman. My thing is, what kind of guy is her fiance? I mean you have a rediculously hot wife, why are you upset? and why are you getting beat up by a girl who weighs less that 120 lbs.? Man up dude, don't call the cops to stop your girlfriend from smacking you around.

WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN HULKAMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU!?!
Hulk Hogan's wife, the older blonde one from the reality series, has filed for divorce. Hulk did not know about this and was informed by a reporter. Dude, I bet Mr. Hulk ripped off the reporters arms Chewbacca style and the other reporters were just too scared to include that part of the story. What schmuck would ask a guy if he had heard his wife was divorcing him? Mr. Hogan was not too happy when he heard the news. But atleast this way he can dump his idiot son with the mother. I hate that kid, what a douche. I am now nominating him for the biggest douce in the universe award ( yes I know that is not original).

Texas being bought up the the Italians!:
An uninhabited 13 acre Texas town was bought by an Italian businessman on E-bay for $3. 8 million. While I think this is very funny, I still don't like the idea of Americans selling thier land to people in other countries, it is downright unAmerican and American at the same time. What if we just sold all of Texas to Mexico? Well then Mexico would suddenly have a very legitimate football program, now wouldn't it?

Breaking News: Sean Taylor has been shot and is in critical condition in Florida.
FL is a dangerous place.

Teen get stucks in Chimney:
A 17-year old Michigan boy who was trying to get to his room in a social services center without being seen, had the bright idea to climb in through the chimney. Of course that is solid reasoning. The wannabe holiday fatman got stuck and needed to be removed by the fire department.

In other news that proves people in Michigan are dumber than everywhere else ,
Michigan man shoots pregnant cow, claims he thought it was a coyote:
A man shot and killed his neighbor's cow after claiming it was a coyote. The best part of this is that the pregnant cow weighed around 1,400 lbs. while coyotes usually range from 20-45 lbs. Apparently this was not enough of a difference. The man also apparently tried to drag the cow back to his house. I think the guy was just trying to get a free meal.

Goat killer upset over his beer:
A Wisconsin man shot and killed one of his family's 2 pet goats after his wife came home without the beer he had requested. 'nuff said.

Finally
Beauty Queen's wardrobe sabotaged:
The winner of the Puerto Rico's beauty pageant, who goes on to compete for Miss Universe, was found backstage with her face all red and covered in hives. Her makeup and gown had been coated with pepper spray. I know this is serious, but it kinda makes me chuckle. If you have ever seen "Drop Dead Gorgeous" then you will think it is comical too.

That is all for today,

keepin it real from the loop

Wacky Wednesday

There is really nothing wacky about it, but its a catchy title.

So because it is a short day due to the Turkeyday and due to my utter boredom, I will keep this very short.

First off, I need to talk about office hygiene. There is this dude, who everyday I go to the bathroom and he's always in there washing his hands compulsively and hocking lugies. OK, fine. Maybe he is OCD about clean hands, maybe he has really bad allergies. BUT yesterday morning I get to work and walk into the bathroom and he is flossing his teeth. Not just flossing but also hocking at the same time. Is it just me or is work not the place for this guy to be doing his morning hygiene?
It's friggin disgusting. FLOSS AT HOME!

Also Nick Saban is an idiot. Google his name with 9/11 if you do not know what I am talking about.

Happy Thanksgiving yall (imagine Paula Dean saying that, she rocks)

Keepin it real from the loop.

Tuesday Tuesday

Hello all, and welcome to the afternoon delight.

Today was kind of a depressing day in the world, so there was not too much to make fun of, but of course I found something.

Note: I pick and choose what qualifies as news stories for my blog, so even if something important (in your world) happened today, I may not report on it.

I would like to talk about a taco salad that I had this weekend, it may very well have been the best salad in the whole world.

OK, here it goes. Starting with.....the story of the day!!
So apparently somebody reads my blog, or atleast senior citizens do. Just yesterday I commented on how old people are somewhat useless and should be off the roads. What do they do? they respond by making two (3 counting elizabeth taylor) headlines for today's blog.

71-year old security guard disarms and chases robbers:
This is just amazing. You watch the video and you think, either this is Chuck Norris' dad, or these schmucks are idiots. Obviously its most likely the latter since Chuck Norris is not the son of a mortal man. Check out the video here: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/11/19/dnt.fernandez.guard.fights.robbers.wsvn

64-year old woman disarms her 39 year old daughter:
This story is much sadder since the woman had unexplainably stabbed her two children aged 10, 12 and then proceeded to stab herself before her mother disarmed her and called the paramedics. The family is currently listed in "serious" condition.

And of course sticking with my elderly people theme,
Elizabeth Taylor is sneaky:
Now this is just my opinion. She has made an announcement that she has worked out an agreement with the striking writers to not pickett at an AIDS charity fundraising event next month. She stated that she would not cross thier pickett lines if they were there and according to Taylor the writers have agreed. The real beauty of this is that there has been no comment from the Writer's Guild concerning said agreement. To me this translates as, they did not have an agreement, but Taylor in her sneakiness went to the press. Now if they do pickett they look like douchebags for protesting at an AIDS event. On the flipside if they do as she said, they will look somewhat humanitarian for putting their "differences aside" for one night.
ALSO, She is gross, take a look. Woof! http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/11/20/elizabeth.taylor.ap/index.html

Finally:
100-year old woman gets honorary diploma:
A very old woman got her honorary high school diploma today after dropping out like 300 years ago. The lesson from this story is that it's not big deal to drop out of high school, everything will be fine. As long as you live to 100.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bishop of Atlanta church in sex scandal:
This apparently isn't big news since he has been through numerous sex scandals before.

In a pretty interesting political story,
Transgender political hopeful being sued for fraud:
Two losers of a city council election are suing another loser for the same position for fraud. They are claiming that since the person is transgender and ran as a female, it was fraudulent and the election should be done over. WOW, YOU LOST, STOP CRYING. It's crazy how petty politics can get on the lower levels, thank god it's not like that in the national elections.

Another Hilary sponsor is a criminal:
I may have made this up but I am pretty sure there have been other situations similar to this one in Hilary's campaign so far. The man who was arrested had been illegally posing as a police officer as well as a lawyer. It seems like Hilary will just take money from anybody huh?

8-9 year olds taken to prison"
In an update about the rape case from yesterday involving the 8-9 year old boys:
they most likely will not be tried as adults. The boys lawyers have stated that she consented and that she only started crying rape because she did not want to get in trouble with her mom, after all the girl is 11.
So my thing is that the DA stated "children that young cannot legally consent to sex"
Now before you get all crazy, let me just say as a disclaimer that I am not defending the boy's actions nor am I condoning rape in any way. But if this is the rule in Georgia, then most likely the cause would be becuase 11 is too young to know what is actually happening and therefore cannot be legal consent. Wouldn't the reverse then be true? these kids are 2-3 years YOUNGER than her, therefore is it not possible that they too did know have a full grasp of what was happening?

Man rapes and murders infant:
In even worse news, a man has been charged with sexually assualting and murdering his girlfriends 10-month old child.
Horrible.

12-year old stabs 13-year old brother:
They were fighting over the TV remote, when the younger brother went to the kitchen and came back with a knife.
What the fuck is going on in America? All of these stories are downright terrible! and yet these are daily occurences that are regular news stories every day.

Two drunk drivers simultaneously drive into same store:
Morons. They both crashed into the same store? what are the odds?

Neil Diamond has come out and said who "Sweet Caroline" was. But I found the answer to be boring so I am not listing it here. Neil is most famous for the movie "Saving Silverman" which was an instant classic as soon as it was made. He really does a great job playing himself.

PHOTO'S OF THE ATTACKING MONKEYS!!!:
That's right! http://news.yahoo.com/featured . Follow the link, scroll down to "this week in photos" and click on the 9th picture, its a man with a mustache. but it's really much more!!

In entertainment news, a sad state of affairs for Britney Spears.
She was sued by Louis Vuitton for having the designer's brand name on a dashboard of a car in one of her music videos. The suit was over fraud and of course Spears lost. While she is crazy and I havent liked her so much now as I did when I was 13, I think this just may be overkill. I mean the guy has billions and hasn't everyone else bothered her enough? just leave the poor gal alone.

It turns out that the original Sesame Street is not suitable for children. What a load of crap! it was just a different time, when kids sitting alone could meet an adult man, go home with him and have cookies and milk (with the guys wife, this was sesame street you sicko, no Law & Order SVU). But in today's world that would not fly. I think instead of bashing Sesame Street a great American institution, we should be reflecting on today's society.

In Sports
Lil' Romeo is gonna paly ball at USC:
Apparently the rapper is also a top 15 prep guard in the nation. If OJ Mayo sticks around next year, then they could be a tandem: Lil Romayo (buh dum bum!!)

Excellent shab footy game this past week. With all of the legitimate linemen having their sack lunches. KC coulda been better, but we will weed out those unwanted plants (that's right, it is elitist)

Keepin it real from the loop.

Monday Madness

Welcome to the Afternoon Delight!

Note: I pick and choose what qualifies as news stories for my blog, so even if something important (in your world) happened today, I may not report on it.

There is a lot of news today, some of which is kind of depressing, so bear with me.

The story of the day is pretty classic. Mainly because it touches on old people's rediculousness as well as why Americans are just plain old silly.

Woman crashes car, still gets to her appointment ontime:
A 73-year old Alaskan woman drove her car into her hair salon while trying to make an appointment. Police said the parking lot did have snow on it. The woman still made her appointment though and got her haired styled at the salon.

What I think: God Bless America. Perhaps the snow was at fault for this crash, or perhaps it was because the woman was 73. I don't know the statistics, but I am willing to bet a significant amount of pennies that this is not the first time a 73 year old has crashed into a building. Take away old people's liscenses and get them out of the way on Sunday mornings. The real beauty of this story is that not only did the shop stay open, but they gave the woman who destroyed their store a haircut.

Japan Launches massive whale-hunting fleet:
Japan has launched a number of ships towards the artic ocean in order to try and kill 1035 whales of an assorted variety. Greenpeace has its own 1 ship in the area and has vowed to "track" the fleet and take direct non-violent hippie action to disrupt their hunting.

My Two Cents: Look out for angry hippies in a boat. They are going to follow the Japanese ships (with their 1) and shout really mean things to the whalers. If they must, the hippies will probably use their secret weapon: bad karma. While I don't agree with whaling an endagered species (the humpback whale I think), which is what Japan is doing I don't think smelly hippies on a tug boat is really what is going to stop them.

The death toll in Bangladesh has grown to over 3,100.

Three boys 8-9 years old charged with rape:
Three boys aged 8 and 9 have been arrested and charged with assualting, kidnapping, and raping an 11-year old girl. The boys are being tried as adults.

My Two Cents: While I do not doubt that they kidnapped and assaulted the girl, I feel like rape charges could be kinda hard. As far as I know, 8-9 year old don't have sex. They might in todays crazy world, but can they physically have sex at 8 years old? Also, trying them adults I think is a little much. Obviously they have issues, but I think there is an age that should be early enough to say "these kids need help" and give them the appropriate treatment, as well as place them in a juvenille institution. As opposed to placing them in juvy till their 18 and then sending them to prison.

Hannah Montana tickets sell for $13,000:
Tickets for the sold out show in Indianapolis sold for 13k with the proceeds going to the Peyton Manning Children's Hospital. The show is being considered as the most popular event ever in Indy. This is coming off of the their team's Super Bowl win last year. Poor Peyton, he will never be as popular as 14-year old Miley Cyrus.

I found an article about Loggerhead" turtles. These things are massive! they weigh over 250 lbs. That is crazy. To see a picture follow the link. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21881087/

Woman stabs dogs in buttocks:
A pittbull ran into a neighbor's house and attacked her cat. The Minnesotan woman acted quickly and stabbed the dog in the rear with a kitchen knife. The cat later died of injuries and the dog is fine.
My Two Cents: What a bizzare story.

13-year old boy arrested for drunk driving:
In a classic case of good parenting, a Michigan man, who was too drunk to drive, gave his truck-keys to his 13 year old son. The problem was, other than the fact the kids was 13, was that the son was also drunk. YEEHAW! go rednecks.

Twins invent wedgie-proof undies:
Two 8 year old twins have invented a pair of underwear that will break in half if they are attempted to be wedgied. This really isnt a new invention, kids have been cutting their underwear straps since almost the creation of the wedgie, which as far as I know, started when underwear did. However, I feel like this will not deter bullies, since now they can just make nerds go commando everyday.

The restaurant that is home to the $25,000 dessert has been shut down due to a roach and mice infestation. This is priceless.

In an poorly done survey, someone listed the top 5 Dustin Hoffman movies of all time and Hook was not one of them. After further investigation it wasn't even one of the pollable options! The guy that made up that list is a moron.

And finally, please read through this list of Princes, there is an error for one of them, see if you can find it. I'll post the answer tommorow. Now read it, PRONTO!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21821451/

Keepin it real from the loop

Puppies

This story must have broke right after I posted, but thanks to the diligence of dsteen it will be told. This story warrants being added.

8 dead puppies found in freezer:
Police officers who were serving a warrant on child pronography charges, found over 30 malnourished poodles running around, as well as 8 puppies in the freezer. The residents said they were being stored in the freezer until their kids could come home and bury them.

My Two Cents:
These people are going to hell, and they are going to hang out with those two guys that beheaded Icabod the kitten.

Like eating a rueben, and then making hot, dirty rueben love

That's right, its the afternoon delight!
welcome welcome

To get my plug out of the way, listen to the Throwdown with Rubes and Gordo on sunday nights at www.blogtalkradio.com/throwdown, or check out their facebook group.

Note: I pick and choose what qualifies as news stories for my blog, so even if something important (in your world) happened today, I may not report on it.

Sticking with yesterday's more lax format, I am just gonna lay the stories out there for ya. Starting with...THE STORY OF THE DAY!

This was not as controversial as yesterdays, apparently some have felt that a man marrying a dog should have beaten out the pot-bellied pig chase 07. I stand by my decision, it is more of a visual thing for me. Which would you rather see, a man and a dog in traditional wedding dress? or 5-10 people running around chasing "uncatchable" pigs for 35 min? Obviously its the pigs.

Once again the United States is the winner of today's story, still no updates on the big monkey thugs.
Today's winner is.......
Man shoots lugnut with shogun:
A 66-year old man in Washington state tried using a shotgun to remove a "stuck" lugnut on the wheel of his car. This proved to be a bad idea. The buckshot (you honestly thought he would use a shotgun shell? what is he stupid?) from the gun deflected off the wheel and "peppered" his entire body up to his chin, causing "sever, but not life-threatening" injuries. Officials have reported he was in fact NOT drunk. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21758302/

My Two Cents:
This would be so much funnier if the man was not 66. Either way you would think he had other options, perhaps using I dunno...a torque wrench? This is absolutely the story of the day.

Coming in at a not too distant second was this gem:
Woman caught dumping ashes in Disneyland:
Park officials have closed down the ever popular "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride after seeing a woman dump what appeared to be human remains into the water. According to some Disney workers, this is not uncommon. Peolpe have been smuggling in ashes for years.

My Two Cents:
Gross. Can you imagine going on a plume ride and getting splashed with a face full of someone elses ashes? That will most likely never happen, but still. Also who's dying wish would be to be spilled into the "pirates" ride? I mean yea, keira knightly is hot and all, but not THAT hot. There are some wierd people out there...

Hilary like Pearls AND Diamonds:
Yes, this was actually a story on a major news site. Booooooo.

"Ms. Southwest" poses for Playboy:
You all remember Kyla Ebbert? I know I do. She was the 23-year old passenger with the sexy body, who was asked to leave the plane on her Southwest flight and was forced to put on a sweater covering her legs. She has great legs. Anyways, she now has posed for Playboy in some "tastefully done" photos. Kyla said the biggest challenge was convincing her father to let her pose. Gee, I wonder what his problem was?

My Two Cents:
My favorite thing about this story, originally, was that the passenger who complained about her was an elderly woman. Of course no guy on that plane had a problem with it. I love how "tastefully" is the one and only word used to describe naked photos that aren't straight up hard-core porn. They need to get a new word so they can be used interchangeably, "Tastefully" is now a tainted word. I don't think ms. ebbert should have been asked to leave the plane, because while her skirt was pretty short, she was wearing a very tasteful outfit.

Russian cult holed up in cave:
This is a pretty wierd story and it's a shame because it does not look like it will end well. A small 20-25 person cult who call themselves the "True Russian Orthodox Church" are currently holed up in a cave they dug in Northern Russia. They have retreated to the cave because their leader has recently been arrested and is under psychiatric review. There are children in the cave, where temperatures have reached -50 degree. The members have told police that if they try to get into the cave, they will commit a mass suicide. They believe the "end-of-days" is coming in May 2008, and they are going to wait it out in the cave.

My Two Cents:
Unfortunately, this is doesn't look good. How are they gonna get them out of the cave? the leader isn't being released, the cops aren't gonna back off, and the people really will kill themselves if they have no hope. This is what happens when you start a cult. Lesson today is not to start cults unless they are not crazy. I hope this one results in them getting out of their alive.

Don't Blame the Whiskey!!:
In an unfortunate turn of events, thousands of bottles of Jack Daniels has been confiscated and may be poured out if it has been sold illegally. Some of these bottles are vintage and the oldest is from 1914, it is worth around $10,000. A little quip from this article:
"Punish the person, not the whiskey," said an outraged Jack Daniel's drinker from British Columbia who promotes the whiskey on his blog. "Jack never did anything wrong, and the whiskey itself is innocent." for the rest of this sad article-http://www.wsmv.com/news/14608054/detail.html , and may god have mercy on this whiskey. Amen.

Fox News had a headline today that read "Massive Massacre". Can somebody please pay me that person's salary to come up with better headlines? I mean seriously, c'mon. Massive massacre? WTF-that's Fox News for ya.

Raccoon killer!
A teacher in Arkansas shot a raccoon with a nail gun in order to show his class how to skin the animal. The raccoon was brought in by a parent and it was supposed to be dead, but it was delivered alive in a cage. The teach took it out back to his truck, with no students around, and shot it with a nail gun.

My Two Cents: Gots to loove dem rednecks. The best part about this is not that the teacher killed the raccoon, or even that a parent brought it in, alive in a cage! No, the best part was that the f-ing lesson for the day was how to properly skin an animal! Amazing, purely amazing.

Hugh Hefner donates $2,000,000 to film school:
Apparently the film school is already named after him, this is just another donation. I think it was for USC. How awesome would it be to have a diploma from the "Hugh Hefner Independent Film School"? You would be an instant porn director. While I don't know what the name of the school actually is, I think mine is better.

following up on yesterday's article about Tom Cruise looking like the Fearless Leader from "Rocky and Bullwinkle"-here is the picture. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21794678/

A revolutionary study has come out that teens use AIM to say things they would never say in person. Wow this really blows my mind, my whole world has been turned upside-down. Who's job is it to do that study? its more like an 8th grade project.

Amy Winehouse was booed off stage after another shoddy performance. I have a friend who once told me she was hot. She is atrocious looking. I don't get why rockers can't just do that drugs before and after their shows, that way they won't slur their words and get booed off stage.

DVW's bringin the bottle, I'll see you all at KC.

Keepin it real from the loop.

Back with a vengeance.

Did I spell vengeance right?

Welcome to the Afternoon Delight!

To get my plugs out of the way, listen to the Throwdown with Rubes and Gordo on sunday nights at www.blogtalkradio.com/throwdown, or check out their facebook group.

Note: I pick and choose what qualifies as news stories for my blog, so even if something important (in your world) happened today, I may not report on it.

I thought I would try a different format today, I am just going list the stories that piqued my interest today, in no particular order. I may also throw in some occasional rants, who knows?
To quote my good friend Aman:
"I dont know...you dont know...WHO KNOWS... aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

To start off I am going to give you Jroz's news story of the week!
The United States dominated the hilarious wild animal news today, taking away thunder from the previous champion, India, who has dominated with stories of drunken elephants and hired monkey thugs.

Potbellied pigs run wild in Iowa!:
Two potbellied pigs were running around a busy Iowan street this morning, before they were caught by a joint task-force of animal control officers, cops, and happy-to-help truckers. It took them 35 minutes to catch the wily critters. One of the animal control officers said based on her experiences from her first pig chase, she would need a blanket. "They're tough," she said. "They have no necks, so you really can't get a collar on them".

My Two Cents:
I was rolling with laughter when I read this story. I am sure it was very dangerous for the pigs to be on the road, and they needed to be caught, but can you imagine watching this scene for a half hour? I would PAY to see that, and you know you would too. Also I thought it was pretty funny that this wasn't the officer's first pig chase but that's just me.

Coming in a very close second place was this story
Man marries dog:
An Indian has married a dog in order to atone for his sins of stoning two dogs to death, earlier in his life. The man and his kanine companion had an official wedding ceremony. The wedding pictures are just beautiful. It's a classic man meets dog, man marries dog story.

My Two Cents:
Ha Ha, this guy married a dog.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21768663/

Moving on.

Ho Ho HOE!!:
Santa's being hired for shopping malls in Sydney Australia have been told not to say HO HO HO anymore but instead to sa HA HA HA. The reasoning behind this is that HO HO HO could be offensive to women, based on the slang word that is used in the U.S.A. for hoish women.

My Two Cents: For this one, I would like you to fill in the blank because I think my response would be too obvious. Feel free to leave a comment on today's blog about your two cents.

In more serious news, Hotel may have been imploded with someone in the building:
Witnesses have said that they saw a shadow mere seconds before a hotel was imploded in Houston Texas today. There is an investigation going on to see if there is a body in the rubble.

My Two Cents: I really hope that no one was in there, that would be a bad death. However, what moron would be wandering around a zoned off hotel strapped with 120 tons of dynamite? You think there are teams that sweep the hotel to look for people before they detonate the explosives? Probably.

Woman has 33 pound tumor removed:
A Chinese woman had a 33 pound tumor removed after she was complaining of abdominal pain. Apparently the tumor went unnoticed because the woman is severely overweight. Doctor's said that if it had remained it would have eventually exploded inside her body.

My Two Cents: Woah, that is crazy! Can you imagine what that would look like? Its like a small child, only its a tumor. The woman said hopefully this will help her lose weight. I think this may be a sign. I mean how do you not notice a 33 pound tumor! 33 pounds!!!

Couple who lost children, expecting triplets:
A California couple who lost their 3 children in a terrible car accident last summer, are now expecting triplets.

My Two Cents: That is pretty wierd. What are the odds that this would happen? If you believe in a higher power than this could be interpreted as divine intervention. And if you don't, this is a hell of a coincidence. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21767764/

The world has a robot guitar-http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21791941/
the big deal for this guitar is that it automatically tunes itself, all the time.

Breaking New! Nebraska woman who had sex with 13 year old student was fired today:
WTF?? Why wast she fired 2 weeks ago when she had run away to Mexico with a minor to have sex with him? Something is either very amiss, or perhaps the school board in this sleepy Nebraskan town is full of nitwits! That's right I said nitwits.

Now for entertainment news, which I am very excited about today

Matt Damon is 2007 Sexiest Man Alive:
So be it.

My Two Cents: Bourne Ultimatum , while it was nothing like the book (nor was the rest of the series) was an awesome action movie. It kicked ass. I see no reason to argue this election, other than perhaps Rubes should have been on that list, and that perhaps there was a change in the voting that did not sparkle with everyone who voted. (Either you will get that one or you won't)

Tom Cruise apparently is making another crappy movie called "valkyrie" ( I don't know how to F-ing spell it). Its about Hitler I think, who cares. The reason this is interesting is that in the photo I saw of him for this movie, he looks like the "Fearless leader" from Rocky and Bullwinkle.

In a poll of TV's alltime most popular/recognizable personalities Johnny Carson was voted #1.
Kermit the Frog placed a close 21st, go terps!
Ha Ha can you imagine that shmuck that is 22? They got beat not by a frog, but a puppet frog.

One of the main headlines on CNN.com today was that Celine Dion is releasing a new album that will completely reinvent her image.

My Two Cents: Is that really a headline on the main page? it sits right next to the story about 1,000s of people fleeing a tropical storm/tornado. That makes sense, they are both of relative equal importance. She is the #1 main reason why I refused to see"Titanic" and I have held true to that oath. Go back to Canada!!

In Sports:

Kevin Youkilus has shaved his goatee for $5,000. To be donated to charity.

A-rod is reportedly mulling over a deal with the Yankees worth 10-year $280 million which will come to over $300 mil with incentives. The negotiations are going on without agent Scott Boras, the most ruthless man in baseball. (but hey, he gets his clients paid)

It's intersting because the Yankees idiot owners (the boys, not georgy) stated they will not negotiate with A-rod if he opts out. Well he opted out and here we are. Their scare tactic did not work and now he can take advantage of them. Stupid Yankees.

Keepin it real from the loop.

This is not the greatest song in the world, this is just a TRIBUTE

Yesterday morning, the good lord found it favorable in his eyes to take the life of Jenny. She had lived a long and good life, but it was not without trials and tribulations. From an early age she had to put up with Shroz trying to name her "Bubbles" or BB spinning her really fast in the desk chair, or BB chasing her around with a pair of scissors, or BB chasing her around with "bad kitty" even though he knew she didn't like it. But there were good times as well, running around outside eating grass and getting fleas, only barfing in 3 pile intervals, and eventually developing the late shana's yowl. She was 19 years old, which in her years was like 300 or something. She was loved by almost all and will be sorely missed. The next time I am home watching TV my lap will be very cold without her.

Today's entry is in tribute to her. R.I.P. Jennifer Stacey.

Note: I pick and choose what qualifies as news stories for my blog, so even if something important (in your world) happened today, I may not report on it.

Welcome to the Afternoon Delight!

Politics:
I was gonna try and stay away from politics on such a somber day, but this story was just too good. It was like a juicy piece of steak staring at you, what else are you gonna do? (unless you are a veggie, in which case imagine a big marinated piece of tofu, or some okra.)

Hilary Caught Cheating!
No, not the way Bill did. A female student from Grinnel College has come forward and stated that she was "planted" in the audience to ask a question to presidential hopefuly Hilary Clinton. The girl was given a question specifically designed to be asked by a college student, and she said she was not the only phony in the audience. The student claims that she thought the public has a right to know.

My Two Cents: This is awesome. I am sure this happens in every campaign, but I am loving that Hilary got caught first. Not neccessarily for any reason other than that she is the front runner. It just makes for a more interesting game. I mean election race. I wonder if maybe the said student is receiving some compensational funds from perhaps a NC or IL sentaors' campaigns? Nah I actually don't think that is the case, but I think it is interesting that when the girl suggested her question of asking what Clinton's energy policies were vs. her opponents, the girl was told maybe thats not such a good idea. This is just clarifying the picture for me of what Hilary seems to be running on. I think she is running on her name more than her policies. As opposed to Edwards who is running on bashing Hilary. (didn't he use to be an ambulance chaser?)

International:

What's happening around the world.

Pakistan situation is boring:
I have decided to stop covering this for a while because its just not interesting anymore.

Hamas arrests 400 Fatah protesters:
I told you shit was gonna go down. After the initial protest in which 8 people were killed. Fatah gunmen took to the streets and its on now!

Also Hamas has stated that they are willing to begin discussions with Israel over a deal revolving around the release of captured IDF soldier Gilad Schalit.

My Two Cents: This infighting is not going to help the Palestinian cause during the Annapolis meetings (if they actually happen). Although to be honest, I dont see anything actually developing from those talks. Hamas states that they have no intention of hurting Schalit and are talking about his return, which makes me hopeful thinking this means he is alive. Many times when soldiers are "returned" it is not always the way you hope for.

Egypt announces "smuggling tunnels" report:
Egypt has announced that they have discovered over 60 tunnels used for smuggling arms and explosives into the Palestinian territories. They have also confiscated over 20,000 tons of TNT.

My Two Cents: Good job.

Russia honors MI6 "double-agent":
Russia has honored George Blake, orignally a British MI6 agent who then became a double agent during the cold-war for the KGB. Blake is credited with comprimising between "dozens and hundreds" of western operatives, as well as exposing the secret tunnel the U.S. and Britain dug into East Berlin. This is the most recent mud-in-the-face act to Britain by Russian leader Vladimir Putin.

My Two Cents:
So I know this hasn't been neccessarily dominating the news, but Russiahas been kinda scaring me lately. Putin has made relations with the U.S. and the west icy at best, and has been doing things that seem to be announcing Russia as the dominant country in the world once again. (Although they were tied with the U.S.) I am all for a country to have national pride and all that, but it seems like this could turn hostile(ish). I am not sure why Putin would want another cold-war, or even why he is doing everything he is doing, but its something to keep an eye on. Screw Pakistan, focus on Russia.

No news about the bigger, badder monkeys yet:
But that day will come, mark my words.

In American news-or as I like to call it, the "fun" news:
not too much crazy stuff today.

Police officer 'tases' him/herself:
A police officer tases themself and injured thier hands when forgetting to check the air cartridge in their weapon. They have been placed on disciplinary leave for not following safety procedures.

My Two Cents: This is the silly story of the day. I fought the urge to title it "don't tase yourself bro!" but mainly because the article for this story had alreay done that.

Police Officers shoot and kill teen holding hairbrush:
5 police officers shot an unarmed teen after responding to a distress call from his mother. The teen has had a history of mental health issues and when his mother called 911 he was heard in the background as saying that he had a gun. When the young man, holding the brush began approaching the police officers from his apartment, he was ordered to stop. The man dropped the brush but continued walking, at which point the officers unloaded 20 bullets into his body.

My Two Cents:This is pretty fucked up. The kid was unarmed, and even if they thought the brush was a gun, he dropped it before they opened fire. I understand they could have felt threatened, but 20 shots from 5 officers is a lot. This is not ok.

13 year old Mexican boy, may not be victim:
The 13 year old boy who was having a realtionship with his 26 year old teacher in Oklahoma, may not actually be 13 claims the womans attorneys. They are speculating that he is actually closer to 16 or 17. As well the idea that he is actually the one in control of their relationship, and she was the victim.

My Two Cents: C'mon. Really? EVEN if he is now 16, that would still have made him 13 and her 23 when they began their illicit love. She's still having sex with an underage teen. What changes in this scenario? In my opinion, nothing. I still hold by what I said about her last week. And you can find that in the archives.

Man found dead, stuck in cat door:
A man was found stuck in his girlfriend's cat door in FL. The man had been thrown out earlier in the night and it appears he was trying to get inside and unlock the door. Reports from his friends and family have stated that he was not a small person.

My Two Cents: I am not sure how to approach this without making it seem like I am making light of this situation. But...??????

Disabled teen bowls perfect game: This is really cool, check it out. http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/11/13/mcdough.handicapped.bowler.wpbf

In entertainment news, another strike which does not affect my life has become a big hot topic.
The stagehands for all broadway productions are currently on strike:
Can't they just replace these people in like 20 min? What is the big deal?

I watched a movie called "Kalifornia" last night. A 1993 film starring Brad Pitt, Juliette Lewis, and Davic Duchovny. Awesome movie, Pitt plays a serial-killing white trash redneck and NAILS it! Lewis is prefect as a complete moron, and Duchovny looks silly with 2 earings, but hey, that was cool in 1993. Go see this movie PRONTO!

Sports:
Jorge Posada has resigned with the Yankees. Not too much of a shocker there.

Seattle dominated SanFran in MNF. But who cares about either of those teams? what a horbbily crappy division. the NFC West does not deserve a playoff spot this year. Woof.

Ryan Braun and Dustin Pedroia win Rookie of the Year honors. Guthrie...got consideration in May.

For all of your sports needs, listen to the Throwdown with Rubes and Gordo on sunday nights at www.blogtalkradio.com/throwdown, or check out their facebook group.

That's all for today,

Keepin it real from the loop.

P.S. If you are sad about a cat, don't watch Shrek the 3rd on Joox, im not sure why but puss just made me sadder.

Addendum

I was just watching part of Mel Gibson's "Braveheart", Mr. Gibson an actor famous for his roles in "Gallipoli" and "beyond thunderdome". Anyways, I am a big fan of braveheart, however if you listen to the "get 'em riled up speech" the famous one right before the first battle, it is the worst motivational speech ever! It doesnt make any sense! All he does is say you can die now, or you can live a full life and die later.

Yes I know what he was trying to say, but it was still a bad speech. Completely ruins the scene for me now.

Veteran's Day(s)

Happy day on which we celebrate Veteran's Day, even though it was really yesterday. AND welcome to the afternoon delight!

Thank you to D.Rubes for coming up with the delight.
To show my thanks, you should be sure to listen to the "Throwdown"with Rubes and Gordo on Sunday nights atwww.blogtalkradio.com/throwdown, or check out their facebook group.

Note: I pick and choose what qualifies as news stories for my blog, so even if something important (in your world) happened today, I may not report on it.

Politics:
Not much for politics today, or rather I wasn't too interested with what was out there.
However there was one thing I found amusing:

McCain's mother blames Romney for Salt Lake City scandal:
Apparently Sen. McCain's 95 year old mother has stated that she does not approve of Romney's religion (he's a mormon, yes the correct answer was mooooormon), as well as she seems to believe he had a hand in the scandal that occured in Salt Lake City during the 2002 Olympics. (it was 02 right?) Romey responded by saying he gives her, as well as anyone else over the age of 90, a pass for her comments.

My Two Cents: While I think it is funny that McCain's mom made fun of his religion, I think the bigger issue is what Mssr. Romney said. Is he honestly stating that people over the age of 90 should not be taken seriously? Last I checked 90 was the new 70! These are voters here that he is just brushing aside by assumign everything they say is either silly (thats one for today), or ok. If he is suggesting that Mrs. McCain did know what she was saying, then he is giving a free pass to old people, letting them be as racist or prejudiced as they please. I won't take this lying down, what if I am walking down the street durign Romneys presidency and I am verbally attacked by a 91 year old woman? Should I just let it go? I THINK NOT!

George Bush jumps out of a plane:
That's pretty much the whole story, other than the face the he is 83 and jumping out of planes.

Breaking News: Wolly's "guns" compared to the Rocky Mountains. Stop.

International News:

Bhutto is corrupt:
I am not sure if I wrote this last week, but I have been saying it a lot. Today I ran accross a blog agreeing with me. From everything I have been reading, Former Prime Minister Bhutto of Pakistan, is not the clean and pure savior that Western media has been making her out to be. I am not sure if she is better or not than Mushrumoff, but her former governments have repeatedly been accused of corruption and even a terrible violation of human rights. Also it is suspected that she stole over $1.5 Billion for her personal use.

My Two Cents: Yea, exactly. Who says she is any better, other than herself? She is also apprently facing charges in multiple countries regarding these violations. Find out for yourself.

Killer Monkees go on murderous rampage:
Well not killer monkees persay, more like one non-killer monkey who attacked 25 people viciously in an Indian village. This is apparently becoming a common thing and some government officials have brought in bigger, meaner monkees to take care of the attacking ones.

My Two Cents: While any story involving monkees is funny, people getting hurt never is. Also have you noticed all these crazy things happening in India? attacking monkees, drunk rampaging elephants...And as far as their solution for bringing in bigger and badder monkees, wasn't there a book, pehaps dr. suessish, that had a sultan bring in cats to get rid of mice, then elephants to get rid of the cats..somthing along those lines. Bottom line is that in the end it didnt work and the sultan was left with the mice. So maybe they should just stick with the smaller attacking monkees before it gets out of hand.

Middle East:
Palestinian negotiator refuses to recognize "Jewish" Israel:
That pretty much says it all.

Hamas gunmen fire upon peaceful Fatah rally:
Hamas gunmen opened fire on a peaceful Fatah rally, the biggest since Hamas took over, commemorating the 3rd anniversary of Arafat's death. 6-8 people were killed and 85 injured.

My Two Cents: This is gonna start something really bad. I am not sure why they would fire on such a large crowd, but odds are this will lead to some serious infighting amongst the Palestinians.

And now for the interesting stuff (although I thought the monkees were pretty good).

15-year old thought cops were part of a rival gang:
a 15 year old boy, being charged as an adult is facing up to life in prison on four accounts of attempted murder after shooting 2 teens from a rival gang as well as 2 police officers responding to the shots. The suspect stated he though the cops were other gang members and opened fire to get away. He said the 15 year old he shot had raped his mother a few years ago.

My Two Cents: The kid stated that the 15 year old raped his mother years ago, and he has spent the past few years looking for him. Now this is entirely possible I guess, but that would make the supposed rapist (the rape was never reported) about 12-13 years old at the time of the crime. Now I know it is possible a 12 year old could rape a grown woman, but I have a feeling that this was not the case. Gangs are bad, remember that.

Woman sleeps through rape:
A woman with chronic sleep-walking, was raped by a homeless man. The man claims it was not rape, but that she gave her consent. The man is stating that she must have been sleepwalking when they had sex.

My Two Cents: Is that really possible? is it rape then, if she was sleep-walking and said yes, not realizing it was real life? that is just crazy.

No guns in school Shirley!
Shirley Katz, a school teacher in Oregon, has been told that she is not allowed to bring her handgun into school. She does have a concealed weapon permit, but the school board said it is against their policies. She claims it is for protection against her ex-husband.

My Two Cents: Odds are her ex won't attack her while she is teaching social studies. I think would be a slippery slope if they allowed her to bring it in. Kudos to the school board.

Entertainment:
The cast of "Scrubs" has announced who their least favorite guest star was...drum rollllll:
TARA REID!
She has no talent. The cast stated that she smelled like cigarettes and booze.

My Two Cents: That is pretty much how I would expect her to smell.

According to scientists, the universe has lost weight. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21753466/-universe
I think its all part of that celebrity fit club trend that has been going around.

Both Mannings are losers over the weekend.

The wizkids have finally gotten that elusive first "W" against the always competitive Atlanta Hawks.

No news on the hotstove

Congrats to Stinkwidit on his speech this weekend.
Kiddush club was great, as expected.

And now please check out the top 10 list of things you should not do at work, PRONTO!:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/worklife/11/09/not.at.work/index.html

Keepin it real from the loop.

The Friday Lowdown

Welcome to the Afternoon Delight!
That's right, whether it be a delicious sandwhich, some day-time sex, or reading my news blog, Afternoon Delight is great anytime.

Since I come in extra early on Fridays, I have more time to read the news. Therefore Its going to be a long one today folks.

I am attempting to limit the amount of times I use the words "silly" or "apparently" so if you notice too many occurences, please feel free to let me know.

Note: I pick and choose what qualifies as news stories for my blog, so even if something important (in your world) happened today, I may not report on it.

Also, be sure to listen to the "throwdown"with rubes and gordo on Sunday nights atwww.blogtalkradio.com/throwdown, or check out their facebook group.

We shall start today, as always with a little politics.

I thought I'd stay away from the Presidential race today and cover something else.

Senate Confirms Mukasey:
The Senate has confirmed Michael Mukasey as the new U.S. Attorney General with a vote of 53-40. There are varying opinions of Mukasey due to his lack of admittance regarding "waterboarding" as a form of torture. Some people on Capitol Hill have expressed concern that Mukasey was confirmed mereley because he will be better than Gonzalez and that there needs to be an Attorney General in order for some stability to continue.

My Two Cents: I don't know much about his background, but I assume that there is more to his appointment then "he was the best guy available". The vote would not have passed without major support from some Democratic Senators so I think this could be a good choice. The waterboarding is a non-issue for me. Before someone flips out, let me explain why. Mukasey has stated that he personally regards waterboarding and all other forms of torture to be apalling, however he did not know enough about it to comment on specifics. From what I understand, the U.S. laws that prohibit things such as waterboarding do not apply to organizations such as the CIA, and to be hones, I am OK with that. I think that if the CIA needs to use certain techniques to obtain information, well then it is not a perfect world out there. However I am not suggesting that you or I should be allowed to practice anything of the sort.

1/4 Americans think Bush is worst President ever:

In a poll taken recently 23% of Americans think Bush is the worst ever.

My Two Cents: Have any of these people taken U.S. history 101? The man was a pimp, but Andrew Jackson did some pretty horrible stuff during his presidency. I think there can be case made for a lot of other presidents being worse, but I guess it depends on the categories being discussed. For all you other history majors out there, I know you agree with me.

Colom Wins Presidency:
Alvaro Colom was elected President of Guatemala yesterday.

My Two Cents: How many of our lives are affected by this event? Exactly, but I thought it was a nice tidbit that you can use at a cocktail party or shabbos dinner tonight.

U.S. Drugs: The United states "Drug-Czar" John Walters stated today that U.S. efforts in Colombia have disrupted to flow of Cocaine into the United States. These efforts have caused the price of Cocaine to skyrocket 44%.

My two Cents: First off, I think its silly (that's one) for someone who is fighting the "war on drugs" to be called a drug czar. I know this is not a new notion, but shouldn't drug czar refer to say...an actual drug czar? Perhaps the guy who profits the most from his cocaine being sold all over the world? I dunno, maybe i'm just stupid. My sentiments go out to all of you clubbers and college students who now have a little less $$ in your pockets.


U.S. vs. Iran:
The United States Defense Dept. announced today that IF a conflict arose with Iran, then the U.S. is currently "fully prepared" and we "are up to date".


My Two Cents:
I feel like this was never an issue. I believe strongly enough in our armed forces that I believe there has always been a contigency plan for conflict with Iran. This is nothing more than politics, and I for one am sick of all the side-stepping about having a conflict with Iran. If its gonna happen, then its gonna happen. It seems like we are almost goading them into a conflict.


Pakistani Riot cops look like middle school hockey players:
In international news I ran across an article dealing with form Pakistani Prime Minister Bhutto being placed under house-arrest. However the REAL story is the picture that accompainied the article. The Pakistani riot police pads look like hockey pads for boys.


My Two Cents: It was a rediculous sight and I found it hilarious. Also, the poltical situation over there hasn't changed so there is nothing to report.


Brazil now world's most powerful country.

Brazil has announced a discovery of a deep-sea oil well that could contain as much as 8 billion barrels of oil. This would launch Brazil into the top ten oil producers in the world. The shares for the company that discovered the oil well rose from $24 to $116 a share.


My Two Cents:
Get ready to start speaking Portuguese because aside from oil, Brazil could be one of the worlds top producers of alternative energry. According to some national geographic stuff, converting sugar cane into energy is like 10x more effective than using corn. So hold on to your wallets and digital cameras because here comes Brazil. On a side note, it would be nice to have a few thousand shares of the company right now.


Israeli government and Chief Rabbi ban beggars:
Beggars have been banned from the western wall. If you have ever visited there, you will understand how big of an impact this will have on the enjoyment of praying or even just visiting the holy Jewish site.

Check it out: http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1192380772114&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull


My Two Cents:
I once got into a fight with a guy who was shaking his collection box in my face, multiple times, while I was trying to pray. I whole-heartedly agree with this decision.


I JUST FOUND RTIHS FONT.-I just found this font, its awesome.

Now for the interesting news.

I have just hear news that there has been an oil spill near California (I think). Go read about it.

Bus driver fired-sicko taught a lesson:
A bus driver (somewhere, I forget) has been fired and is facing charges this week after driving his bus at speeds up to 37 MPH with a passenger hanging on the bus's mirror. The passenger urinated in the back of the bus, with others looking on and was then kicked off of the transit vehicle. The driver refused to let him back on and the man then grabbed a hold of the mirror and started driving. He proffessed a desire to find the bus pisser at his job, and then pee on his work.

My Two Cents:

I think that while what the driver did could have cost the man his life, the dude did pee on his bus. The quote the driver "You Fuck with me..I fuck with you". I think that guy should have also LET GO of the bus when it started driving away. Pronto.

Police auxillary shot:

A campus policeman, who is not actually a liscensed policemen but more of a cadet, was shot three times at a community college and is in critical condition. The police auxillary was in a campus security golf-cart when he rolled up on a suspect attempting the steal a car. The suspect then pulled out his gun and fired three time.


My two Cents:

I hope the guy has a full recovers. However I do feel the need to express the stupidity of police auxillary. Its one thing for them to check cars at the main entrance and stuff like that, but bottom line is..They are not cops. For the most part, atleast at my school, they were kids who got paid $7.00 to roll around in segways acting like they mattered. In a situation where you see a car being jacked, if you are carrying a whistle and pepper spray, maybe you should do your job, which is to call the actual police. I think thata situation like this could be avoidable if people understand their roles when it comes to fighting crime.

3 year old found in trash bag:

The body of a three year old girl has been found in a white plastic trash bag inside a park near her home. The cause of death has been discovered to be blunt force trauma, and her mother has admitted that the girl was dead at the home yesterday. No arrests have yet been made.

My Two Cents:

?!?...How are her parents not in jail right now? Seriously?


D.C. School district $$ used for strip clubs:

Two DC public school officials have admitted to using over $13,000 in funds to pay for thier gentlemens club bills. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/11/08/AR2007110802498.html?hpid=topnews.
Read this article, its hilarious and upsetting at the same time.

My Two Cents:
This can help explain why the DC school system is so crappy. Its nice to know that if the taxpayers money isn't going to the local schools, atleast it is staying within the commuity. I would be appalled if they were spending the money at Maryland strip clubs.

In Tech news: What the hell are these robotic bunnies? I dont get their purpose at all.

Fashion News:
I am trying this once to see if I care enough to write about fashion. Pronto. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/artsandliving/source/trend-spotter/110407.html
There is a hippie designer store that is making designer clothes at hippie earth-friendly levels. I guess this is a good thing, but Im sure it still costs way to much to buy these clothes.

Sports: for all of your sports needs, listen to the Throwdown on sunday night with Rubes and Gordo, or join their facebook group. www.blogtalkradio.com/throwdown

The Wizkids remain at a goose egg for their win column.

The Orioles have yet to unload thei expensive vets, however there have been rumors floating of Tejada going to the yanks to play 3b. This would be better than Bedard going there.

West VA beat Louisville in College Football.

The MLB players union has expressed concern that the GMs at the winter meeting may have been colluding in order to drive the price for A-rod down. Who gives a fuck? so he gets $290 million instead of $300. Poor A-rod. Maybe he;ll pull a Sprewell and get the extra money by saying $290 mil aint enough to feed his family.

And Finally, Clinton Portis has come out with his first character appearance of the year: Choo Choo. If you have not yet seen a picture of this, please follow the link below. Although I am not sure how this would fare faced up against "Southeast Jerome" and "Dolla Bill".
-http://blog.washingtonpost.com/dcsportsbog/2007/11/choochoo.html

keepin it real from the loop

Note: I would like to apoligize if my comments about the BlackHawk helicopter crash offended anyone. In no way was I attempting to make light of a tragedy and I have the utmost respect for our nation's servicemen.

I also have recently been informed that the cocaine dolls were used in the movie "Traffic" and not "Blow" my apologies for the mix up.

As day three of my incessant blogging begins, I'd like to let you know that I have had more time today than both the days past, however I find less news to report. I do however, plan to rant for a while...

Note: I pick and choose what qualifies as news stories for my blog, so even if something important (in your world) happened today, I may not report on it.

First off lets start with a little politikin.

There is some talk going on about Bill Clinton unfarily defending Hilary something something something. Some of the other candidates are claiming it is unfair. To be honest I didn't read the entire story.

My Two Cents: Are you kidding me? regardless of their infidelities of the past, he is still her husband! What do the other candidates expect? he is by far her biggest bargaining chip to get into the white house. Why wouldnt he be supporting her? He was one of the most popular presidents ever. ( I have no idea if that is a fact). I think its just downright silly for other Democratic cadidates to be crying over this. He's not gonna endorse anyone else, so what do you want from him?

In internation news Mushramoff has set a date for Pakistan's elections in February. The White House commended him on it.

My Two Cents: This is silly, because all he did was supposedly set a date for elections, meanwhile he has not ended the milataristic state of emergency! Nothing has changed! I understand in some situations diplomacy has to take baby steps, but I don't think having the president of Pakistan set a date for elections(which were already set to take place in January) is a win for us on this one. Shit is going down, and you can quote that.

A U.S. BlackHawk helicopter crashed in Italy killing 4-5 Americans (the figures vary).
No cause of the crash has yet been released.

My Two Cents: I feel like there have been a lot of helicopter crashes in the past few years. Maybe that is just a statistical reality with flying around in helicopters, but it seems like there is something faulty with a lot of the BlackHawks. On a side note, it is a really cool helicopter.

The U.S. has expressed concern that yesterdays announcement by Achmenijidaddy that Iran has 3,000 working centrifuges, will lead to an Israeli Air Strike against Iran. There has been no official statement regarding this, but Israeli Defense Minister Ehud Barak said that all means would be considered.

A slight thing that bothers me. CNN.com regularly has a section entitled CNN Heroes. However, unlike what you would think, they are not regular everyday people. They are celebs. This is rediculuos. If you cannot figure out why, then you are an idiot. They do not salute people who are fighting diseases and poverty on a regulart basis. No, they salute Jenny Mcarthy and Julianne Moore. While I know they both do good work fighting diseases and spreading knowledge about autism, shouldn't someone a little bit more regular be considered for this "honor"?

Ok enough of supposed "real news" there is a lot of good stuff thats out there today. I like to refer to them as side-stories, but really they are the reasons to read the news.

First off, I just came across an article about a 77 year old man in Jacksonville FL, rode his bike (bicycle that is) apparently a decently long distance, to pick up his 4 year old grandson from pre-school. When the grandfather gets home, his wife tells him he has the wrong kid.
http://www.news4jax.com/news/14537564/detail.html

My Two Cents: This is one of the funniest things I have ever heard. I know there is all sorts of problems here, such as kidnapping, and the teachers not following safety protcals, but still. The man brought the kid back and got his grandson. But seriously, it was an honest mistake and this is rediculously funny.

In other side news, a surfer was attacked by a great white shark, and would have been killed if not for a group of bottlenosed dolphins. This apparently is a 2 month old story, but now the guy is healthy again. He was attacked by a shark who almost bit his leg off and chomped on the guys back. It was coming in for antoher attack when the dolphins made a protective circle around the surfer, and kept the shark at bay until he got on the beach.

My Two Cents: This is awesome. Its a feel good story that makes you believe that dolphins really are the second smartest creatures next to mice. (If you've seen the movie I am referring to, you would get that.) I wonder how crazy it would be to see that from the surfers perspective, although he was probably more concerned with living.

I saw a headline that reads "150,000 fish die in barn fire". I know there is more to this one, but its a funny headline.

Listen to the throwdown on sunday nights.

Apparently Conan O'brien was being stalked by a priest. The priest had been writing him letters for the past few years demanding Conan give a public confession, OR lest the priest onto the show.

My Two Cents: It seems like this crazy was just trying to use his place in the clergy to get on TV. Or he is just a crazy nutbag. I wonder what kind of beef a priest could have with Conan.

Next we've got a bunch of kids who were given detention for hugging each other. Apparently this is a common practice the past few years for schools to ban hugging.

My Two Cents: I had no idea that this was normal. I remember back in the old days when schools were worried about drugs and kids having sex at school. What has happened to America's youth? and why is this a legitimate concern, hugging?!? One of the girls who got detention hugged her friend who had just lost a parent. This shiz iz whack.

In Music, there is an album that has been out for a little while that I bet is really awesome. Its a joint album between Allison Krauss and Robert Plant. Krauss possible has the mosth soothing voice in the whole world, and Plant kicks ass. If you have heard this album let me know how it is, since I am lazy and have not bought it yet.

It turns out Ostrich burgers are good for you. So if you feel comfortable eating Ostrich, or llamas as they are somtimes known, get out there and do something good for yourself!

I'm not gonna summarize this one, just gonna give you some clips from the article:
"A New York eatery is offering a $25,000 dessert bulging with top-grade cocoa, edible gold and shavings of a luxury truffle...The dessert is a frozen, slushy mix of cocoas from 14 countries, milk and 5 grams of 24-carat gold topped with whipped cream and shavings from a La Madeline au Truffle."

My Two Cents: While I am a HUGE fan of all foods. (excpet for water chestnuts, but i'll get into that later) I think this is waaay too rediculous. But it's also amazingly smart because the people who do have that kind of money, will now go buy this dessert just to say they did it. Say what you want about this being a sign of the decline of mankind, its also deliciously genius.

A toy known as Aqua-Dots in America and something silly in Australia has been recalled due to the toy being a date rape drug. At first I thought this was one of those fake CNN pages people send to you, but it was real. If ingested, the chemicals react with our bodies to create HGB (I think) which is a popular date rape drug. There have alread been reports of children eating these toys and going comatose.

My Two Cents: After all of this stuff with the different toy recalls has been going on, it kinda makes you think who in the hell is making these toys? I mean toxic chemicals are one thing but now its date rape drugs? Next Wal-Mart will be selling those dolls made purely from cocaine that they used in the movie "Blow". While it does seem slightly funny, the bottom line is, maybe its time to sell some toys not made in china. This apparently would be much safer.

In entertainment news Brad's mom and Angelina are fighting. cool.

If you have not yet read Dog the bounty hunter's apology, you are missing out. (I am the doooog, the big bad dooooooog). http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21689604/

My Two Cents: Ha! This is one of the funniest things I have ever read. Not only is it a rediculous defense, one can only hope that if something like this came up in a court trial, the "Doog-I though I was cool enough" defense can be used successfully. It is only slightly lesser known than the famous Chewbacca defense. I can't believe that this is what he came up with after a few days of tough thinking. I mean couldn't he just say he was a racist?

Now for my rant(s): First off, my reasoning behind hating water chestnuts is that they are gross. The texture is slimy and mushy-hard at the same time. The are crunchy, but not the good crunchy, they have no taste, and it's just not worth putting yourself through a bad experience when there is no rewarding outcome. They are an unneccessary food that does not compliment anything. Fuck you water chestnuts.

My real rant today is about the writer's strike. First of all, kudos to all the actors and TV personalities for going out there and "supporting" the writers by getting all dressed up and giving interviews while pretending to pickett. It is making you look great.
The thing is, the strike is not affecting me too much, since the only talk shows I watch are the Daily Show and the Colbert Report. I know leno and Conan fans are hurting. But what about the newest shows to start suffering "24" and "K-ville"? I don't watch that crap, but I watch other shows of equal stature. The studios and networks have stated that they are "prepared" for the longhaul with rerun episodes and crappy movies. WHY? why can't they just give the writers a little more moolah from their billions in annual revenue and end this thing?

To sum it all up as my buddy "stinkwidit" said last night " I don't pity anyone who is working in hollywood". I agree with that sentiment, however I do support the writers strike as well. This is just sillyness and TV watchers and movie-goers are gonig to suffer. (Except for people who watch the Ellen Degeneres show).

NOW FOR SPORTS!

For all you sports needs, Listen to the "Throwdown on Sunday Nights at www.blogtalkradio.com/throwdown.

Kentucky lost to Webb-Gardiner, Ohiot St. and Michigan St. also lost to some DII schools. That sucks for them. More good stuff for the Terps. I think it is rediculous that Kentucky got blown out at home, but that what they get for being in Kentucky.

No hot stove news yet. Do you think it is possible that no one will pay A-rod what he wants? that would be funny, but highly unlikely.

My arms are tired from typing so that's all I got.

Keepin it real from the Vegetable Loop.