Did I spell vengeance right?
Welcome to the Afternoon Delight!
To get my plugs out of the way, listen to the Throwdown with Rubes and Gordo on sunday nights at www.blogtalkradio.com/throwdown, or check out their facebook group.
Note: I pick and choose what qualifies as news stories for my blog, so even if something important (in your world) happened today, I may not report on it.
I thought I would try a different format today, I am just going list the stories that piqued my interest today, in no particular order. I may also throw in some occasional rants, who knows?
To quote my good friend Aman:
"I dont know...you dont know...WHO KNOWS... aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
To start off I am going to give you Jroz's news story of the week!
The United States dominated the hilarious wild animal news today, taking away thunder from the previous champion, India, who has dominated with stories of drunken elephants and hired monkey thugs.
Potbellied pigs run wild in Iowa!:
Two potbellied pigs were running around a busy Iowan street this morning, before they were caught by a joint task-force of animal control officers, cops, and happy-to-help truckers. It took them 35 minutes to catch the wily critters. One of the animal control officers said based on her experiences from her first pig chase, she would need a blanket. "They're tough," she said. "They have no necks, so you really can't get a collar on them".
My Two Cents:
I was rolling with laughter when I read this story. I am sure it was very dangerous for the pigs to be on the road, and they needed to be caught, but can you imagine watching this scene for a half hour? I would PAY to see that, and you know you would too. Also I thought it was pretty funny that this wasn't the officer's first pig chase but that's just me.
Coming in a very close second place was this story
Man marries dog:
An Indian has married a dog in order to atone for his sins of stoning two dogs to death, earlier in his life. The man and his kanine companion had an official wedding ceremony. The wedding pictures are just beautiful. It's a classic man meets dog, man marries dog story.
My Two Cents:
Ha Ha, this guy married a dog.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21768663/
Moving on.
Ho Ho HOE!!:
Santa's being hired for shopping malls in Sydney Australia have been told not to say HO HO HO anymore but instead to sa HA HA HA. The reasoning behind this is that HO HO HO could be offensive to women, based on the slang word that is used in the U.S.A. for hoish women.
My Two Cents: For this one, I would like you to fill in the blank because I think my response would be too obvious. Feel free to leave a comment on today's blog about your two cents.
In more serious news, Hotel may have been imploded with someone in the building:
Witnesses have said that they saw a shadow mere seconds before a hotel was imploded in Houston Texas today. There is an investigation going on to see if there is a body in the rubble.
My Two Cents: I really hope that no one was in there, that would be a bad death. However, what moron would be wandering around a zoned off hotel strapped with 120 tons of dynamite? You think there are teams that sweep the hotel to look for people before they detonate the explosives? Probably.
Woman has 33 pound tumor removed:
A Chinese woman had a 33 pound tumor removed after she was complaining of abdominal pain. Apparently the tumor went unnoticed because the woman is severely overweight. Doctor's said that if it had remained it would have eventually exploded inside her body.
My Two Cents: Woah, that is crazy! Can you imagine what that would look like? Its like a small child, only its a tumor. The woman said hopefully this will help her lose weight. I think this may be a sign. I mean how do you not notice a 33 pound tumor! 33 pounds!!!
Couple who lost children, expecting triplets:
A California couple who lost their 3 children in a terrible car accident last summer, are now expecting triplets.
My Two Cents: That is pretty wierd. What are the odds that this would happen? If you believe in a higher power than this could be interpreted as divine intervention. And if you don't, this is a hell of a coincidence. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21767764/
The world has a robot guitar-http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21791941/
the big deal for this guitar is that it automatically tunes itself, all the time.
Breaking New! Nebraska woman who had sex with 13 year old student was fired today:
WTF?? Why wast she fired 2 weeks ago when she had run away to Mexico with a minor to have sex with him? Something is either very amiss, or perhaps the school board in this sleepy Nebraskan town is full of nitwits! That's right I said nitwits.
Now for entertainment news, which I am very excited about today
Matt Damon is 2007 Sexiest Man Alive:
So be it.
My Two Cents: Bourne Ultimatum , while it was nothing like the book (nor was the rest of the series) was an awesome action movie. It kicked ass. I see no reason to argue this election, other than perhaps Rubes should have been on that list, and that perhaps there was a change in the voting that did not sparkle with everyone who voted. (Either you will get that one or you won't)
Tom Cruise apparently is making another crappy movie called "valkyrie" ( I don't know how to F-ing spell it). Its about Hitler I think, who cares. The reason this is interesting is that in the photo I saw of him for this movie, he looks like the "Fearless leader" from Rocky and Bullwinkle.
In a poll of TV's alltime most popular/recognizable personalities Johnny Carson was voted #1.
Kermit the Frog placed a close 21st, go terps!
Ha Ha can you imagine that shmuck that is 22? They got beat not by a frog, but a puppet frog.
One of the main headlines on CNN.com today was that Celine Dion is releasing a new album that will completely reinvent her image.
My Two Cents: Is that really a headline on the main page? it sits right next to the story about 1,000s of people fleeing a tropical storm/tornado. That makes sense, they are both of relative equal importance. She is the #1 main reason why I refused to see"Titanic" and I have held true to that oath. Go back to Canada!!
In Sports:
Kevin Youkilus has shaved his goatee for $5,000. To be donated to charity.
A-rod is reportedly mulling over a deal with the Yankees worth 10-year $280 million which will come to over $300 mil with incentives. The negotiations are going on without agent Scott Boras, the most ruthless man in baseball. (but hey, he gets his clients paid)
It's intersting because the Yankees idiot owners (the boys, not georgy) stated they will not negotiate with A-rod if he opts out. Well he opted out and here we are. Their scare tactic did not work and now he can take advantage of them. Stupid Yankees.
Keepin it real from the loop.
Been a while…
2 years ago
1 comment:
regarding pigs vs. dog marriage:
i think the dog marriage wins. sure, pigs running amuck in society is hilarious ala - "hey - why is that pig running around in people clothes? they think they're people!" a hedberg reference seems appropriate here:
"I was in downtown Boise Idaho and I saw a duck. I knew the duck was lost, because ducks aren't supposed to be downtown. There's nothing for 'em there. So I went to a Subway sandwich shop. I said, "Let me have a bun." She wouldn't sell me just the bun, she said it had to have something on it. She said it's against Subway regulations to sell just the bun. I guess the two halves aren't supposed to touch. So, I said, "All right, put some lettuce on it." "That'll be $1.75!" I said, "It's for a duck!" "Oh, then it's free." I did not know that. Ducks eat for free at Subway! Had I known that, I would have ordered a much larger sandwich. "Let me have the steak fajita sub, and don't bother ringing it up - it's for a duck! There are six ducks out there, and they all want Sun Chips!"
incidentally, someone told me today that i act like mitch hedberg. best thing ever.
also, social commentary on how men can't marry men in the states, but can marry dogs in india would be fitting.
regarding a gag order on santa's ho's:
what's hilarious is the whole idea here. reminds me of when volkswagon had to reword some of their ads:
Billboards for the 2006 GTI with the text “Turbo-Cojones” in Miami’s Little Havana had received objections, and VW went ahead and pulled identical signs in New York and Los Angeles. While ‘cojones’ (meaning ‘testicles’ in Spanish) has taken on a more lighthearted meaning among most English speakers (rather like “chutzpah” or “guts”), among some Spanish speakers, the connotation remains altogether more graphic. -
http://www.autoblog.com/2006/03/19/vw-pulls-gti-billboards-after-complaints-ads-are-offensive-to-hi/
what it really reminds me of is my last (and only trip, thus far) to australia. i went to see some penguins come in from the water. they've been doing this for millennia. thousands, literally thousands of penguins hang out near the shoreline as it gets dark, then swarm in and waddle in the most adorable way imagineable to their teeny holes, feed their teeny penguin kids, and go back into the water by morning. they're called "little penguins"
this is their accepted name: little penguins.
they USED to be called "fairy penguins", but changed the name recently so as not to offend any penguins that fly, grant wishes, and carry a supply of pixie dust.
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