Thank God for Al Gore

Welcome one and all to the Afternoon Update. Please enjoy today's listing, which I have tried to make as little sad as possible.

So first I have to give you a follow up rant/question to some of my previous blogging rants. As I have repeatedly mentioned, there are 2 guys on my floor who literally live in the bathroom. They are always in there brushing their teeth, flossing, taking naps, etc. Now I will pose a moral/ethical question. I have noticed (since they are ALWAYS in there) that one of them, the grosser of the two, has been conducting his business in the Handicap stall even though the other one is open. Now this would raise the normal questions about whether one should take a handicap spot/stall, even if no one else would use it, BUT on my floor there is a co-worker of mine who is disabled and uses a wheelchair. Therefore there actually a person who needs to use this stall daily. This should obviously be taken into consideration by the other guys. What if he comes in and needs to go the bathroom? He now has to wait for the gross guy to finish. Should this individual be chastised for his actions? (theoretically, I wan't nothing to do with him actually). Is it un-ethical what he is doing?
You decide! Post your answers in the comment section.

Now for the news.

The story of the day was an easy one for me, because it shows how Canadians are silly.
Pig Farmer Convicted of 6 Murders; More to Follow:
A pig farmer has been convicted of 6 murders and is expected to go on trial for atleast 20 other killings in Canada yesterday. My thing is that if anybody had seen the movie "Snatch"they would know to never trust a pig farmer. This man could have been caught a lot earlier.

President Huckabee:
I know is sounds silly and it could still be a longshot blah blah blah, BUT he looks more like a plausible candidate now. How silly would it be to announce President Huckabee to the world. It just doesn't roll off the tongue as easily as say...Van Buren or Fillmore.

Kosovo-Serbia Headed for War:
The "Troika" of the U.S., Russia, and the EU has announced today that after 2 years of negotiations and exhausting every possible angle, Serbia and the Albanian majority in Kosov have not even come close to reaching an agreement. Kosovo wants their independence and has announced they will do whatever is necessary. This is definitly going to be a war. On an interesting side note, The Albanian majority in Kosovo is mostly Muslim. This is interesting because they wave American flags during their protests and marches for independence. Now I am not trying to assume that normally Muslims do not support the U.S., but most places in the world with a Muslim majority population would not be doing that.

Granny Caught With Loaded Hand-gun, at Disney:
A 63-year old grandmother was arrested in FL yesterday after security at Disney World found a loaded handgun in her purse during a routine security check. She was accompanying her daughter and grandchildren. Security also found a knife and a pair of scissors. The woman claimed that she forgot the gun was in her purse and it was just a mistake. She was quoted as saying "I forget a lot of things. That might sound silly and stupid, but I did not remember that the pistol was down there..." Now there are two ways one can look at this. First, if she was really so innocent, its kinda wierd that she would also have a knife and pair of scissors, I know it could be a coincidence, but its still strange. The better question is, if she really did just forget, and she "forgets things all the time" maybe she shouldn't be allowed to have the gun. Perhaps we should throw in loaded fire-arms in along with liscenses as things that should be taken away from old people.
Just a thought.

Santa Train Kills 2:
The "Santa Express" a train that takes kids from Detroit to somewhere else in Michigan to see santa each weekend, struck a car that drove into the train tracks in nowheresville Michigan. There are warning signs, however there is no warning lights and according to local sources, "an accident was bound to happen". So why didn't someone put up the lights you may ask? No comment. The driver and one of 2 passengers were killed on impact, and the third passenger is in critical condition. The ground shows skid marks atleast 25 yards before the tracks, which indicates the car was driving at a high speed before collision. Perhaps they were trying to race the train. None of the 30 children on board were injured.

Man Bear Pig is Real!!
I am super serial about this. Why won't anyone take me serial? Al Gore received his Nobel Peace Prize today for making the world aware of the existence of Manbearpig. Manbearpig is kinda like a man, but is more bearpiggish. Now that Messr. Gore has received his award he gave a warning to the U.S. and China to stop manbearpig before it ruins the world. He is our savior. Without him everything would be different. Thank God for Al Gore.

This website is pretty hilarious, its a video to test a new product developed by former pro baseball player. Shout out to Pronto for sending me this one. http://www.nuttybuddy.com/ , I think that is the correct address. Just click on the video.

Nun Has Dirty-Whorish-Smelly Pirate Hooker Mouth:
A Nun in Michigan (yes Mich. AGAIN) who is also the principle of a middle school gave her 5th-8th graders a list of swear words she would not tolerate. She did not however post the list, but read it out loud in an assembly in church. The list contained ALL the swear words she would not tolerate, including meekrob.

Mountain Lion Chills in Hot Tub:
A South Dakotan woman was relaxing in her hot tub when a moutain lion appeared out of the bushes, jumped on the side of her tub, chilled for a moment, and then took off. Really he was just a peeping tom. The lesson of this story is to not live in South Dakota.

Whooping Cough Comes Roaring Back:
That's right! after an almost 95 year hiatus, the whooping cough epidemic is having a comeback tour. Starting off at Bob Jones University in South Carolina, the whoops as we like to call it, is looking to spread across the country to your neighborhood. Now some of you may be thinking, wait! isn't this one of those diseases that people died from in the early 1900's and we have since cured? Well yes we have! That is how rediculous this is, yet it literally affected the whole university. For all you history buffs out there, this should take you back, you can even ask your grandfather or great-grandfather what is like the very first time they had the whoops.

CNN reported an article today that a local grocery story accidentally advertised hams as "Delicious for Chanukah." Now I would just like to take this minute to say, HA! We here at the Afternoon Update had that story last week. CNN is sooooooo behind the times.

I am too lazy to write about this story, but you should read it. It shows how stupid some policemen are. (sorry, police-people). http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22155954/

A German Interior Minister is trying to ban Scientology, because it is "unconstitutional".

In Entertainment news:

Daniel Baldwin continues to give the other hardworking and talented Baldwins such as Alec and Stephen a bad name. He failed to appear in court for a hearing after being arrested for cocaine and drug paraphanelia earlier in the year. Shame on you Daniel for besmirching their good name.

Sweden to Build ABBA Museum:
Not only that, but it will be 3 floors. Are hot 6''0 blondes, Ikea, and ABBA really all that Sweden has to offer? I mean ABBA was cool and all, but........

Paris Hilton:
Reportedly Paris punched her ex-boyfriends new lady in the face over the weekend. She has not been charged with anything, and there are those saying she never hit anyone.
I would love to see her throw a punch.

New pictures of Amy Winehouse appeared on various news sites today, and I maintain now more than ever that she is terrifying. She looks scary, like a messed up version of a Disney villain.

England lost badly to Sri-Lanka in Cricket, the Pats beat the crap out of the Steelers, and the Colts tore the Ravens a new one.

Listen to "The Throwdown" with Gordo and Steen every Sunday night for all of your sportstalk on blogtalk radio.

That's all for now, EXCELSIOR!!!!!!

Keepin it real from the loop.