The weekends a'comin

Sorry about not posting yesterday, I was in meetings all day. No time for blogs....

Welcome to the Afternoon Delight!
There is a TON of stuff for me today, so without further ado.

Hilary Clinton does not age well:
This headline cannot be found on any news site (atleast not today) but I find it to be pertinent information. There is an article on the CNN ticker about hilary pledging to change Bush's mandate on AIDS education blah blah blah. The REAL story is the picture that accompanies the article. She don't look too good. Now maybe its just me, but our past two presidents have not looked aged or haggard at all. I am not endorsing any politician yet, especially liberals, however in the democratic arena, I would prefer to have a good looking O'bama meeting with foreign officials and having photo ops than Hilary. I mean if that's what she looks like now, imagine her in 4 years! woof. Take a look on the CNN ticker to see what I mean.

In an update from a previous story
Cops killed in high speed chase did not follow procedure:
Apparently My assesment of the situation on Wednesday was not accurate. But then again, what do I know of such matters? According to the police chief, the two officers did not follow procedure when placing the road spikes. If they had done it correctly, they would have placed extending bands(or ropes or something) that run underneath the spikes, and would then be able to remove them without having to run back into the road. It is still a horrible tradgedy, but this somewhat, but not entirely, changes my opinion on who is at fault.

Jehova's Witness dies from religous beliefs:
Well not so much FROM his beliefs as DUE to his beliefs. A 14-year old boy with lukemia died this morning after refusing to receive a blood transfusion. Jehova's witnesses do not believe in transfusions since they believe it makes one "unclean". The Boy's biological parents, who are not his legal guardians, tried to force him to get the transfusion but a judge ruled earlier that he fully understood his actions, and upheld his choice to deny the treatment. There was an episode of "Scrubs" that dealt with this issue (and probably every other hospital show, but I don't watch them) but in the show they found a way to treat the patient. Unfortunately in real life, things don't always work out.
I wonder what the reasonings behind the "uncleanliness" of transfusions is. Is it any blood? what if there was a blood bank for just JW's? Then when aboslutely neccessary, in a life threatening situation such as this instance, they can get permission from their spiritual leader to get the transfusion.

Late night jobs are carcenogenic: (did I spell that right?)
A study by the International Agency for Research on Cancer has found a higher rate of breast and prostate cancer in men and women whose jobs begin after dark. I know this might be true, but isnt every thing in the world cancerous? Also should I be worried? I was a bouncer for 2 years and the job was almost completely performed at night. Chew on that!

In another updated story of less importance
Cell phone NOT the killer:
Contrary to original beliefs, the South Korean man found dead with an exploded cell phone is his pocket, was in fact murdered. One of his co-workers has confessed to "accidentally" killing the man when backing up his mining drill. I assume this is a large piece of machinery on wheels. The company who makes the phones, LG, has come out and said "na na, we told you so!" They are a bunch of know-it-alls is what they are.

Body of missing woman found...PORN STAR!!!
That last part was just to get your attention, do not worry, Jenna Jamison and all your other favorites are fine. The body of an 18 year old student who had been missing has been found in El Dorado Kansas. The police have discovered that the girl was apparently also a secret internet porn star who went by the name "Zoey Zane" (not nearly as creative as say, Misty Piper, but it works). Police have repeatedly said that her disappearance was in no way connected to her online alter-ego, but that because of the media coverage on her being a porn star, they are getting flooded with false leads and are having difficulty conducting the investigation: "The issue of the Internet and the spinoff of that has been literally crippling our investigation," the police chief stated.
The great thing about this is that the ariticle on CNN, one our most respected news sites, the headline reads "Body of missing porn star found". Real classy, way to help.

UK woman jailed in Sudan:
I don't think i've been covering this, but now I just have to. In the past few days, a UK woman teaching in the Sudan, has been arrested for allowing her 7-year old class to name their teddybear "Mohammed". She originally was going to be whipped, but was acquited of all the counts except one. She is currently serving her 15 day sentence in prison and then will be deported. The reason I feel it neccessary now, is becuase thousands of protesters are rally outside of the prison with swords, SWORDS!, and demanding her execution. I hope she remains safe and is then safely returned to the UK. HOWEVER, just imagine this situation for a second. An angry mob breaks into the jail, takes her out and executes her (it has happened before in numerous other countries). Now we have a murdered UK citizen in the Sudan who was in the custody of the gov't. Some shit would go down, I have no idea what, but something crazy.

Man Slipped Girlfriend Abortion Pills; Causes Two miscarriages:
A married Wisconsin man has been convicted for giving abortion pills to his mistress without her knowing. The pills caused two of her pregnancies to miscarry. He already has a 3-year old with the mistress. She had become suspicious, and after the second miscarriage she had her blood tested, and the chemicals from the pills were found. She immediately contacted the authorities.
The lesson for men in this situation is threefold. 1) Do not cheat on your wife. 2) If you do, always wear a condom. 3) Drugging your girlfriend with abortion pills is not a viable option.

This next one really pisses me off.
Woman Loses 140 lbs.:
A Massachussetts woman lost 140 pounds after having weight loss surgery. What pisses me off, is that this is listed as one of those inspirational stories, like "I finally turned my life around, and had surgery to fix my problems". I am not saying the procedure is wrong, good for her she can now ride a horse (it was from the article), but this story should not be paraded around as an inspirational success story. Also, the surgery she had was basically they put a band over the top of your stomach, to limit the amount of food that can be stored there. Then there is a pouch that collects extra food and you can empty it..some gross stuff. But my thing is, its been a year and she went from 280 to 140. So now that shes 140, she still has the band in place. Does it just stay in there? won't she keep losing weight?

Evil Teenage Mastermind Arrested:
An 18 year old New Zealander has been arrested as the "gang leader" of a group of hackers who created a virus that takes control of other computers, which then in turn unbeknownst to the owners, commit cyber crimes....dun dun dunnnnn. Why is it that all the big hackers in the world are always teenagers? Its never a 50 year old that has spent his entire life coming up with the worlds most evil virus, its always a 16-18 year old nerd who just gets the better of the world's governments. I mean I saw the movie with Matthew Broderick, which name escapes me at the moment (I know I know), so case in point.

Follow this link for some disturbing information regarding a nuclear black market. It will help you sleep well at night. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22022256/

And now for the fun stuff.
First off is the Story of the Day:
The story of the day is that a cell phone company in England has developed a toilet tracking system. This way whenever someone really needs to go to the loo, all they need to do is check their phone to find the closest pee spot. Brilliant! (in the voice of the guiness guys, not the annoying woman anchor on ESPN) http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/11/29/sat.lav.ap/index.html

The Caper of the day goes to an unknown thief in Ireland, who stole a trailor from the Guiness factory. Included in this trailor were 180 kegs of Guiness, 180 Kegs of Budweiser, and 90 barrels of Carlesberg. I want to become friends with this guy, and just party for one year. He is set for life.

Italian woman stupid:
That was my own headline. Perhaps shes not stupid, but just very oddly snobbish or spoiled? An Italian woman was kicked off of her flight from Milan to Rome becuase she refused to move her 1-meter long stuffed crocodile doll. WTF? I dunno but that's just silly (you think I could make that my catchphrase? or has someone else copyrighted it? maybe I could just get a reality TV show and say it alot in order to try and claim it like my own, like "thats hot").

Speaking of Paris
Paris Hilton wants a baby, for rediculuos reasons: Alternatively this could read "Paris Hilton thinks babies are toys":
Paris Hilton has stated recently that she wants a baby so that it can play with her less attractive friend Nicole Ritchie's baby. Atleast she truthfully gave the reason why. I mean clearly she sees babies as toys, but then again if she did have one, its not like she would have to lift a finger or raise it or anything. She also stated that while she does not have a boyfriend or found Mr. right, she is still open to starting a family now. Sign me up, I'd be more set than K-fed.

Moving on to his ex sugarmama
Investigators find poopy couches and a secret sex room:
OK, I take back any defense I made for Britney last week. Please read this article, PLEASE!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22013594/

Conan O'brien is the shiz:
Conan has stated that he will pay the entire non-striking staff's salaries of his late night show for the next week. The studio is laying all the rest of the staff off for atleast the remainder of the strike, but Conan is gonna pay his guys out of pocket for a week. Bravo

Couple offering $10,000 for missing parrot:
This parrot has brooklyn accent. So if you run into a parrot with a Brooklyn accent in NY city, you have just won 10k. get huntin.

And lastly,
Brooke Shields is going to be in a new show, I hope its a comedy, called "Lipstick Jungle"
I want to be paid to watch that show and review it. That is all.

Happy birthday to moo cow.

Looking forward to KC this week, houns brining the bottle.

keepin it real from the loop.