"Put it on and stay strong", Hippies in trees, and lots of other fun stuff

Welcome to the afternoon update, AKA your afternoon delight.
Today's blog is chock-full of fun stories.

Beginning with....The story(s) of the day!!
And that would definitly have to be this.

Cat survives 19 days with jar stuck on head:
Like the headline doesn't say it all. An outdoor cat got it's head stuck in a peanut butter jar, haha, and then eluded its owners for almost 3 weeks before they finally got a hold of it, and lubed off the jar. Vets say the cat probably survived by burning off all its excess fat.
I wish they had taken some pictures.

The closest runner up to this would be the story about the tree man. I don't wanna write about, but check out this link. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22041771/

In political news, Hilary Clinton is a whiny baby:
I only say this because everyday now, there are always stories of her campaign whining about something another campaign did. Today's example would be over Barak O'bama's "hopefund". Now this in and of itself is boring, but then Clinton comes out making all these allegations that O'bama used money from this program to bribe public officials in early voting states. All I can say is that IF hilary wins, she might have a hard time convincing certain people to vote for her after accusing the first legitimate black candidate EVER of bribing officials in order to win. That statement somewhat suggests other things.

On a seperate note, I have been thinking about how awesome it would be to be Bill Clinton, should Hilary win the presidency. I mean if you think about it, instead of flying to other nations and meeting with wives of world leaders, he can just hang out and party with them, this would be made even easier given the fact that he knows them from his successful presidency. Pretty much, Bill could potentially have them best time EVER as a first "person".

In other important news, that CNN.com decided should be front page, headline material:
The Spice Girls are Officially Back Baby!!!
Normally I would reserve this story for later on in the blog's entertainment section, however, if it's good enough for CNN, then it's good enough for me. The Spice Girls performed on stage last night in Vancouver for the first time in 10 years..blah blah blah. This made the fucking front page!! This news site is such a piece of crap it's unbelievable. On a side note, "posh" spice is hot.

Another major headline
Why Bad Kissers Don't Get to Second Base:
In case you were wondering, it is a lovely story. My favorite quote would be the opening line: "Bad kissers -- we've all locked lips with one: the lizard, the washing machine, the cannibal, the spelunker." Now I challenge all of you to come up with and post a comment regarding what you think "the spelunker" is. My guess is a person whose togue bounces around the other's mouth, like someone spelunkingin a cave. You are also more than welcome to discuss the other ones, if it tickles your fancy.

Don Imus wears a funny Hat:
That's pretty much it. Look at the pictures of him at today's live radio broadcast.

In some interesting science news, apparently Carbon Dioxide can be baked in cakes. Im sure there is a step missing here, but still. New method of disposing of harmful chemicals, CO2 can be covnerted into safe baking soda. For more information on this, http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/11/29/climate.change.soda/index.html

Prison Fashion Show, not a big hit:
A prison fashion show, that featured 10 inmates in a Shelbyville, Tennessee jail has led to 3 guards being fired, and another one placed on suspended leave. Shelbyville is now famous for two things, this, and being the town over from where the Simpsons live. Investigators fired the guards after uncovering evidence that suggested innapropriate behavior by the guards. While the guards and inmates were never in the same room, one guard told one of the girls to "blow into the call box" which doubles as a microphone, and when she did this he put the speaker into his crotch.
My question is, how the hell did they find out such detailed information.

9 year old boy sentenced for rape in Israel:
The only reason I bring this up, is because this is the second case of rape by a nine year old in 2 weeks. In this scenario, the boy was going along with 21 and 19 year olds. But I think maybe Iit's time to reevaluate this age thing a little, or maybe not, I dunno.

Wedding Ring Saves Man's Life:
The owner of an antiques shop was saved from death by his wedding ring. The man was being robbed at gunpoint and when the theives told him to raise up his arms, they shot him. While throwing up his hand, the bullet bounced off of his wedding ring and passed through his fingers. A shard from the bullet was lodged in his neck, but it was not life threatening.
So for all of you "lifetime" bachelor's, maybe you should listen to your mom and get married already, it could save your life.

Woman sentenced to death:
A woman in Jacksonville FL has been sentenced to death by the jury in a case in which she and 3 other men buried an elderly couple alive, and then stole their money. The judge can still overturn the jury's decision. Personally I think for something like this, all four of the defendants should be buried alive as punishment. What they did was abhorrent. What I like is that since one of the men testified against the others, he is avoiding the death penalty. Nice.

And now for the fun stories.

Thieves steal $80,000 in Ham:
A group of thieves in Syndey Australia stole 16 tons of christmas hams from a ham and bacon warehouse last night. They left a messae "Thanks...Merry Christmas" on the wall. Let's see if these guys are going to be benevolent and give it all to charity and hungry people, or if they will somehow get into contact with the guy who stole 160 kegs of guiness and perhaps have a very long unkosher party.

8 Year Olds Suspended From Hockey Tournament After Brawl:
Please read this link, it is hilarious-http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21992789/

Tree Thief a Moron:
A Montana man stole numerous christmas trees from a store near his house, and placed them in front of his trailor for sale. However, he never removed the original price tags, and was easily caught about 5 hours later by the store's owner, his neighbor.

Hippies in Trees:
And where else would there be hippies in trees? (well I guess anyywhere because lets face it, hippies don't have anything productive to do) but at UC Berkeley, the famous hippies school for hippies, by hippies. The university is planning on building a sports training complex on the campus, and to do this they would have to uproot a grove of oak trees. They have built platforms and refuse to come down. Today marks the 1-year anniversary of the hippies living in the trees. The University has consulted lawyers, and they are in the clear to remove the hippies by force. Quote one hippie dubbed "Dumpster Muffin" It’s definitely coming to a head of some sort.” Supporters fill buckets with food, water, and reading material to the hipps, who then lower the bucket filled with garbage and human waste. "The sound of laughter and guitar music wafted from the trees" you know what my thing is? It's that these people don't do anything. And whats great! is that they are hobos who do nothing for themselves, and get fed without paying for a thing. So if you have no money and no motivation, go live in a tree in Berkeley and you will be taken care of dude.....
Dumpster Muffin? C'mon, these arent even good names anymore. But does anyone remember the Seinfeld episode with the muffin tops? classic.

Gunmen use endangered fruit bats for target practice:
There was a fruit bat massacre in Cyprus after gunmen apparently walked into a reserve and shot most of the bats, 20 survived. Who cares? its fruit bats. And the better thing is, they are not endangered! just in Cyprus, there are plenty of fruit bats throughout the middle east and north Africa, but since 40 were killed in Cyprus, its a tragedy. Now I think shooting animals for cruel sport is wrong, but I think this is an overreaction.

G.I. Jill:
A U.S. Army Seargent dubbed G.I. Jill is going to compete in the Miss America Pageant. She's ok looking, Personally I dont see it. Jill Stevens, if you wanted to google her.

A TV camera crew claims to have found fresh Yeti footprints near a stream on Mt. Everest. check out their evidence. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22041259/

And finally, although there is so much more but my arms are tired
Chimps beat college students at memory game:
check it out, http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071203/ap_on_sc/chimp_memory

keepin it real from the loop