Wacky Wednesday Part Duex ( I couldn't think of anything today)

Welcome, Welcome to the afternoon delight!

There is a lot of news today so lets get down to it. No more beating around the bush, just a straightforward approach to today's stories. I am not going to wait any longer before giving you the news. No sir, not me, I will not procrastinate another second, knowing the frustration caused by people who ramble on too long without getting to the point. Well I always get straight to the point without any dillydallying. No, I will will not dillydally, fiddle-faddle, or any other silly words, I will get right to it! And here it is:

Make sure to check out my op-ed in the sports section below. It could very well change the dynamic of your Sunday.

First off some politikin'
Democratic race now between Bill Clinton and Oprah:
That's right. Personally I'd go for Bill, but that's just because he is just so gosh darn charming. I mean c' mon anyone of you ladies out there would rip your clothes off in a second if he asked you to the correct way.
Anyways Bill has come out and started spewing support for Hilary, while the big "O" is going to throw her support behind the little "O" possibly creating an "O Voltron". Many people who have been polled about these two supporters confess that they are swayed by the supporting cast. Those polled have said that they trust Bill due to his experience, but not so much Hilary, while others still will support O'Bamma (haha extra "m") because Oprah told them to. And we all know that Oprah currently controls an army of non-thinkers who will do whatever she says.

Nazi Archives now open to public:
That's pretty much it. This is just really important so I included it. I just have nothing to say on the matter.

Two FL police officers killed in high speed chase:
This is a little misleading because the cops were killed in the chase, but they themselves were not chasing. What happened was that 25 police units were chasing a stolen car. So first off, is 25 units really neccessary? Is it that easy to draw half the police force away with one car? Also, the two officers placed spikes down on the road in order to stop the stolen vehicle. When the vehicle did not come, they began removing the spikes when another police cruiser swerved trying to avoid the spikes on the ground, and slammed into the officers removing the spikes. One of the officers was engaged and getting married soon, the other was going to be his best man.
I feel that the cop driving the car is mostly at fault here. From what I have read, if there were that many units after these two guys in one car, one less unit wouldn't be catastrophic, so where does it seem like a good idea to swerve away from the spikes and into a crowd? dude, sacrifice the car's tires and go into the spikes, if thats what it takes to avoid hitting people, let alone other officers.

Missing Pregnant Woman:
An Oklahoma woman has gone missing yesterday. The woman was reportedly meeting a man in a park, in order to inquire as to whether or not he was the father of the child she was carrying. Neither have been seen since. My money is on her being abducted by him.

Man kills family:
24 year old Lamar Platt confessed to NY police that he shot and killed his mother and brother, and then chopped up their bodies and threw them into the river. I am not sure what drives a man to kill his family, but I feel that its a different situation then regular murders. Both are wrong, but someone who kills random people on the street has some very different stuf fon his mind that a guy who kills and chops up his family. I can only wonder as to what he was so enraged about. Do you send someone like that to jail? or straight to a psycho ward?

Brooke Astor's 112 year old son charged with "pilfering" her estate:
Well technically he is 83 but still its funny. The late 105 year old philanthropist's son has been accused of mistreating his mother in her last years and embezzeling money for himself. He probably should have thought of stealing this money when he could still walk. I know money is useful, but I would rather have 100's of millions of dollars in my 40's than in my 80's.

Update: I was watching "Sgt. Bilko" during my lunch break today and the late great Phil Hartman uses the phrase "by gum". I would like here and now to challenge all of you to use this phrase in your daily lives. I am going to do the same, and by gum I mean it.

In local idiot news
Man tries to open account with $1,000,000 bill:
I don't know what else goes along with this story, other than the fact that this man is stupid. He did attempt to create the bill and it looks ok, but if you were going to put that much effort into counterfeiting wouldn't you also know that they have never made a $1,000,000 bill? and this creative man wins today's idiot award.

Wife wants Fosset declared dead:
The wife of millionaire adventurer Steve Fosset wants her husband declared legally dead. Fosset disappeared while flying a private plane to California in September. Neither he nor the plane has been found. His wife wants him declared dead, personally if my spouse went missing I would want to keep searching until something was found, and I certainly would wait longer than 2 1/2 months. But then again, I do not stand to inherit millions of dollars. Shady shady business if you ask me.

This is by far the coolest video you will see today
6 year old boy plays with 20 ft. Python:
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/offbeat/2007/11/28/vo.boy.cambodia.snake.ap

In another awesome video, check out the exosuits.
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/tech/2007/11/27/yeates.ut.robo.soldier.ksl

I have not been following the O.J. case this time around, but annoyingly it is still in the daily news. Booooo.

Roethlisberger arrested:
But not the fun one. A man as far as I know NOT related to Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger (but how common could that name really be? I mean c'mon) has been arrested for displaying banners deemed "too graphic", depicting photos of aborted fetuses. He was hanging out by the mall. What if he was just doing his christmas shopping?

Cell phones kill!!
A South Korean man was found dead yesterday. The cause is assumed to be his cell phone. He was found with his cell phone in his shirt pocket. The battery of the phone had exploded. This was bound to happen. Look out for killer cellphones, thats all I gotta say.

The word of the day comes from none other than Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad..adad. In an address to following an Iranian securty meeting, the president declared that Israel is doomed to collapse and referring to the Annapolis conference said "Soon, even the most politically doltish individuals will understand that this conference was a failure from the beginning"
So if you could not find it, today's word is doltish. Try that one on for size.

A British woman mauled to death in Bulgaria:
A woman walking her dog was attacked by a pack of wild dogs who gnawed her legs to the bone. Apparently roving packs of wild dogs is a problem that plagues the Bulgarian countryside. She was living in Bulgaria with her partner, but no other reasons have yet been released. The lesson learned is don't move FROM England TO Bulgaria. That is reverse immigration.

I was gonna go into deatil about how China is starting WWIII, but I don't feel like it anymore. Basically China would not let the U.S.S. Kitty Hawk go to port in Hong Kong after originally granting them permission. This was for Thanksgiving, and many of the crews family members had flown into Hong Kong from Japan in order to see the sailors. China has not given any reasoning yet as to why they would not allow entry.

Marie Osmond:
Marie Osmond is the perfect example along with Flava Flaaaaaav! as to why reality television shows (I am counting "dancing with the stars" as reality) can revitalize a person's career. Who the fuck cared about Marie Osmond before this show, and to be honest, who will care for her now? I applaud her for milking her exposure on this show for as much as it was worth. Bravo.

Dustin Hoffman’s New Year’s resolution is all picked out. “I do have to stop picking my nose, especially in the car,” the “Mr. Magorium” star confessed. “I'll be driving and I will catch someone trying to take my picture" (I stole that from MSNBC but I thought it was funny, but boo to the crappy "picked out" line)

Madonna abuses animals:
That would be a catchy headline. The pop madame has been chided by animal rights groups for dyeing sheep different colors for her most recent video. While her methods were animal safe, others make attempt to copy her idea in less safe measures.

Sports:
I would like to discuss for a moment, the recent slide the sports show "The Throwdown" has been experiencing. This slide is not necessarily in listeners, and much as the quality of the show. I feel that it is a quality program but the past two weeks are working against it. Two weeks ago the show was just cancelled, and this past week one of the two hosts forgot the "shows before hos" mantra and did not appear on the show. This required a "troopers effort" from the other host to keep it alive, but who wants to listen to one guy talk? I hope that this coming week will really revitalize the show, as well as not have any off-color remarks about #21's recent tragedy.

Dangerous Dave officially sucks at SoC

Keepin it real from the loop.