Tuesday Tuesday

Hello all, and welcome to the afternoon delight.

Today was kind of a depressing day in the world, so there was not too much to make fun of, but of course I found something.

Note: I pick and choose what qualifies as news stories for my blog, so even if something important (in your world) happened today, I may not report on it.

I would like to talk about a taco salad that I had this weekend, it may very well have been the best salad in the whole world.

OK, here it goes. Starting with.....the story of the day!!
So apparently somebody reads my blog, or atleast senior citizens do. Just yesterday I commented on how old people are somewhat useless and should be off the roads. What do they do? they respond by making two (3 counting elizabeth taylor) headlines for today's blog.

71-year old security guard disarms and chases robbers:
This is just amazing. You watch the video and you think, either this is Chuck Norris' dad, or these schmucks are idiots. Obviously its most likely the latter since Chuck Norris is not the son of a mortal man. Check out the video here: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/11/19/dnt.fernandez.guard.fights.robbers.wsvn

64-year old woman disarms her 39 year old daughter:
This story is much sadder since the woman had unexplainably stabbed her two children aged 10, 12 and then proceeded to stab herself before her mother disarmed her and called the paramedics. The family is currently listed in "serious" condition.

And of course sticking with my elderly people theme,
Elizabeth Taylor is sneaky:
Now this is just my opinion. She has made an announcement that she has worked out an agreement with the striking writers to not pickett at an AIDS charity fundraising event next month. She stated that she would not cross thier pickett lines if they were there and according to Taylor the writers have agreed. The real beauty of this is that there has been no comment from the Writer's Guild concerning said agreement. To me this translates as, they did not have an agreement, but Taylor in her sneakiness went to the press. Now if they do pickett they look like douchebags for protesting at an AIDS event. On the flipside if they do as she said, they will look somewhat humanitarian for putting their "differences aside" for one night.
ALSO, She is gross, take a look. Woof! http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/11/20/elizabeth.taylor.ap/index.html

Finally:
100-year old woman gets honorary diploma:
A very old woman got her honorary high school diploma today after dropping out like 300 years ago. The lesson from this story is that it's not big deal to drop out of high school, everything will be fine. As long as you live to 100.
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Bishop of Atlanta church in sex scandal:
This apparently isn't big news since he has been through numerous sex scandals before.

In a pretty interesting political story,
Transgender political hopeful being sued for fraud:
Two losers of a city council election are suing another loser for the same position for fraud. They are claiming that since the person is transgender and ran as a female, it was fraudulent and the election should be done over. WOW, YOU LOST, STOP CRYING. It's crazy how petty politics can get on the lower levels, thank god it's not like that in the national elections.

Another Hilary sponsor is a criminal:
I may have made this up but I am pretty sure there have been other situations similar to this one in Hilary's campaign so far. The man who was arrested had been illegally posing as a police officer as well as a lawyer. It seems like Hilary will just take money from anybody huh?

8-9 year olds taken to prison"
In an update about the rape case from yesterday involving the 8-9 year old boys:
they most likely will not be tried as adults. The boys lawyers have stated that she consented and that she only started crying rape because she did not want to get in trouble with her mom, after all the girl is 11.
So my thing is that the DA stated "children that young cannot legally consent to sex"
Now before you get all crazy, let me just say as a disclaimer that I am not defending the boy's actions nor am I condoning rape in any way. But if this is the rule in Georgia, then most likely the cause would be becuase 11 is too young to know what is actually happening and therefore cannot be legal consent. Wouldn't the reverse then be true? these kids are 2-3 years YOUNGER than her, therefore is it not possible that they too did know have a full grasp of what was happening?

Man rapes and murders infant:
In even worse news, a man has been charged with sexually assualting and murdering his girlfriends 10-month old child.
Horrible.

12-year old stabs 13-year old brother:
They were fighting over the TV remote, when the younger brother went to the kitchen and came back with a knife.
What the fuck is going on in America? All of these stories are downright terrible! and yet these are daily occurences that are regular news stories every day.

Two drunk drivers simultaneously drive into same store:
Morons. They both crashed into the same store? what are the odds?

Neil Diamond has come out and said who "Sweet Caroline" was. But I found the answer to be boring so I am not listing it here. Neil is most famous for the movie "Saving Silverman" which was an instant classic as soon as it was made. He really does a great job playing himself.

PHOTO'S OF THE ATTACKING MONKEYS!!!:
That's right! http://news.yahoo.com/featured . Follow the link, scroll down to "this week in photos" and click on the 9th picture, its a man with a mustache. but it's really much more!!

In entertainment news, a sad state of affairs for Britney Spears.
She was sued by Louis Vuitton for having the designer's brand name on a dashboard of a car in one of her music videos. The suit was over fraud and of course Spears lost. While she is crazy and I havent liked her so much now as I did when I was 13, I think this just may be overkill. I mean the guy has billions and hasn't everyone else bothered her enough? just leave the poor gal alone.

It turns out that the original Sesame Street is not suitable for children. What a load of crap! it was just a different time, when kids sitting alone could meet an adult man, go home with him and have cookies and milk (with the guys wife, this was sesame street you sicko, no Law & Order SVU). But in today's world that would not fly. I think instead of bashing Sesame Street a great American institution, we should be reflecting on today's society.

In Sports
Lil' Romeo is gonna paly ball at USC:
Apparently the rapper is also a top 15 prep guard in the nation. If OJ Mayo sticks around next year, then they could be a tandem: Lil Romayo (buh dum bum!!)

Excellent shab footy game this past week. With all of the legitimate linemen having their sack lunches. KC coulda been better, but we will weed out those unwanted plants (that's right, it is elitist)

Keepin it real from the loop.