Feareth Not!

I have not forsaken thou. I am just taking a holiday break, and so is the news.

I'll be back next week.

If you want some interesting reads, (albeit sad). Google Tatianna the tiger. She killed 1 person and critically injured 2 others at the San Francisco zoo yesterday. Don't mess with a 300 lb. tigress. Yikes.

"You may kiss the bride...but please don't squeeze the Charmin dress."

"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don't have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq and everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for us,"


Hey y'all. I guess this is the southern edition of the Afternoon Update. Whenever I read that phrase, I automatically hear Paula Dean saying it in my head. God bless that woman.
This is also the last blog I will dedicate to single Jonny, but also this one goes out to his lovely fiancee as well. I'm ready to get drunk!

So anyways, I was planning on keeping this light today, since Fridays are much better spent day dreaming about your weekend. Swinging in your hammock, sippin on a Carona or mai tai, whatever. The fact of the matter is, its winter and you aint gonna be doin nothing. But really I feel like it is necessary to talk about this Jamie Lynn Spears thing more. (also quickly and addendum from yesterday, Jamie Lynn is a Nickolodeon kid, while Vanessa Hudgens and older sister Britney are products of Disney. I apologize for not distinguishing between the two.)

I know this is not an orginal conversation, and yes I got it from an article I read, BUT I feel like this story, since it is regarding such a popular "celeb" could mandate a new set of laws for statutory rape. I am not saying it should be legal or anything, but I feel like there shuold be some sort of uniformity in regards to age differences in every state. There are no more Puritan vs. Catholic states, all laws don't have to be different just because. Now I know also that the Federal Gov't cannot do anything because it would be a violation of states rights, and blah blah blah, before you know it the South's in a stir and its the Civil War part deux.

However, if you look at the Genarlow Wilson case from Georgia, why should it be any different from the Jamie Spears case? If you don't know what I'm talking about, Jamie Spears is 16 and pregnant. The father is her longtime 18-year old boyfriend.Also you are an ignoramus.
Note: On Msnbc, he is said to be 19, while on CNN he is 18...interesting.
Why shouldn't this guy who fathered her child go to prison? She admits that it was consensual sex, but so did the girl Genarlow Wilson was with, she testified in court! but because of the state's laws, he was still guilty. I am not taking the race angle on this one (but obvioulsy you can), however I do not think it is fair for a 17-18 year old to be able to have sex in one state, and not in another. I am not starting a movement suggesting that all teens start having sex, even though they already are, but its almost hypocrisy that some people this is just a "Hollywood story" and for others its up to 10 years in prison and being labeled as a sex offender. And in both cases it was the same, consensual situation.

Discuss.

Can't type up my thought on the rest today, we are closing down early. But I will leave you with my list of other stories for today and perhaps some links.

Family lost in woods- http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/12/20/family.found/index.html

This is not a real riot, try going to Maryland after a Duke game (atleast in the good old days)- http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/12/20/neworleans.protests/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

UNC players sexaully assaulted, interesting flip-flop of events
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22349037/

Shock treatment prank, this is messed up- http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22347088/

Stephen Colbert has been named the Celebrity of the Year. Kudos

Enjoy your holiday vacations,

Keepin it real from the loop.

No Substance Wednesday

That's right! Today I have decided in honor of Jonny, to mimick him and have as little stories of substance as possible. ( You can draw your own conclusions from that one).

So anyways, today's blog with be 99% substance free. And for those of you nerds who will count up the number of stories I write about and calculate the actual percentage. Screw you. You can kiss my big remedial math class ass.

So to start us off, the big news of the day has to do with a Spears. That's Right.
Jamie Lynn Spears is Preggers!
The 16-year old Disney Channel star has announced that she is currently 16 weeks pregnant. I guess she felt her big sister Britney was getting all the attention. One thing I will say after seeing pictures of the soon to be mama Spears, is that she is a lot more attractive than her sister. And I don't mean in a perverse way, or to compare her to crazy Brit now, but she has a lot more actual good looks than her sister did in her prime.
This is awesome for Disney. They now have had two of their biggest, "squeaky clean" female stars all over the tabloid news. First Vannessa Hudgens poses nude and it get all over the internet, and now this. The best quote of the exclusive interview with spears is "What message does she want to send to other teens about premarital sex? "I definitely don't think it's something you should do; it's better to wait...But I can't be judgmental because it's a position I put myself in."
How classic is that?

Here is a nice little video gem of Julia Roberts showing some sass to the paparazzi. Enjoy
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2007/12/19/sbt.roberts.war.cnn

In some real news
Magna Carta Sells for $21 Million:
That's it? I think it is rediculous that it is being sold to begin with. However, $21 mil? I know that's a lot of money, but not by a longshot for the people buying these types of things. It's the frikin Magna Carta!!! One of the first, (if not THE) most important written documents to affect western society. This is just lunacy. I bet the U.S. constitution would go for way over $500 million. I bet you $1 at 5,000-1 odds.

Woman Steals Monkeys, Whereabouts Unknown:
A former volunteer at the Monkey House of an exotic animal preserve in Missouri, kidnapped 3 monkeys in October. The woman has confessed to the crime (she was caught on security cameras) but refuses to give the monkeys whereabouts. Other volunteers from the preserve waited outside the courthouse yesterday in gorilla suits, and chased her down the block demanding the monkeys back.

Amy Winehouse Arrested By British Authorities:
Apparently for being a joke.

Singapore Serviceman Jailed for Clothing Style:
21-year old Tan Wen Zhong, arrived at work clad in nothing but a pink string bikini. He was charged with "outraging the modesty" of the woman who shared the elevator at work with him and "fraudulent possession of women's underwear." Now I never knew there was a fraudulent was to possess women's underwear, but it turns out I was just ignorant. HAHA, can you imagine the sight of something like this? My office is never as exciting.

New Zealanders Steal, Then Change Their Minds:
Some X-mas thieves stole $15,000 worth of presents and holiday goods from a neighborhood home yesterday. Apparently they had a change of heart and left the stolen goods in a sack outside of the house. However most of the equipment had been badly damaged, including a $3,000 LCD TV.
Now the thing is, what families have $15,000 worth of christmas presents? Seriously, what could these people of had? If you take out the TV, which I would assume was the most expensive item (although probably not) there is still $12,000 worth of presents. Rediculous.

Story of the Day:
Woman Gropes Santa Claus:
A Connecticuit woman has been charged with sexual assault and a breach of the peace after groping Santa at the mall. I do no believe this story requires any additional comments, its hilarity speaks for itself.

Paris Hilton Tries to Buy Smurfs:
Ms. Hilton, most recently in Russia during her around the globe vacation, saw two little people dressed as smurfs promoting for a candy shop. Some may think she was drunk, but she started speaking to them like children and wanted to take them back with her. One of them spoke english and began screaming at her, exclaiming he was a grown man and she was a stupidhead. ( I may have added that) Paris was quoted as saying "Oh my, real live Smurfs. I always wanted one when I was a kid...Can I take them home?"

Peter Jackson and New Line Cinema have patched up their differences and are going to make "The Hobbit". Somehow they plan on making it a two-part movie, but I don't see how.

Hulk Hogan Vs. Rosie:
The Hulkster has said that he'd like to take on Rosie O'Donnell in the new show American Gladiators. Said Hogan: “Somebody needs to shut that big mouth up." Touche Hulk, touche.

In heartbreaking news, Stephen Stills has cancer. The beloved Guitarist from CSN and sometimes Y, has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. This is a sad day for classic rocks fan everywhere.

Lord of the Dance, Not Lord of The Rape:
Michael Flatley, best known as the "Lord of the Dance" has been acquitted of rape charges by a Superior court in LA, and the woman who made the false charges has been ordered to pay him $11,000,000. Mr. Riverdance has said he will donate any money collected from the suit to charity.

That's all for today.

Keepin it real from the loop.

Jonny, Jonny whoops

I know I know, its not that clever. So what?

Welcome to the Afternoon Update! As I have said previously, this week's blog is dedicated to my man Jonny's last week of bachelorhood. Woof.

Let's start off with an article I know jonny would find particularly appalling.
Workers Kidnap, Eat Dog:
Two maintenence workers at a Hawaiin golf course stole a man's dog, along with its leash, while the owner was playing a round (I think). Witnesses said they saw the two men take the dog into a van and speed away. Reports are now that the men stole the dog, slaughtered it, and fed it to their families. The owner said he understands why the men did it, but does not forgive them.

Coach Plays Pranks With Students:
A middle school coach in Georgia has been arrested after a night in which he rode around with some middle schoolers and damaged people's christmas displays. Many of the displays were changed to be "naughty", including placing reindeer in sexual positions. HAHA

Italian Tribunal Forcibly Changes Baby's Name:
An Italian tribunal changed 15-month old "Friday" after it was ruled that the name broke a statute that bars parents from giving "ridiculous or shameful" first names to children. The judges say they are protecting the child from a bad childhood and being the bott of jokes. The parents are very upset, but lost their case in court. The child's name was changed to Gregory after the saint whose day he was born on.

My arms are really tires so unfortunately I am going to have to cut this short.

keepin it real from the loop.

Interesting tid-bits

Good Afternoon, and welcome to your monday edition of the Afternoon Update (A.K.A. The "afternoon delight"). This whole week's worth of the blogging is dedicated to my man Jonny who has nothing to do until this coming weekend when he will get married. Therefore I am almost GUARANTEED a reader for the whole week. So Jonny, this one's for you.

Also I am starting to really suck at naming these babies. If anyone has good suggestions for me other than "wacky wednesdays" than please let me know.

I was watching the tail end of a movie during my lunch break entitled "Digging to China" which by the way has nothing to do with asians or a tunnel through the earth. It's about a mentally disabled man played by Kevin Bacon (Tremors, Sleepers, and lots of other 1-word titles) who befriends a 10-year old girl. Now the movie was pretty boring, but again I only saw the last 30-45 minutes. However, the reason I bring it up at all was that Mssr. Bacon's performance was pretty gosh darn solid, and it reminded me of some other actor that I could not place. Then BAM! it hit me in the face like a fist from the the Dark Knight (that's Batman for all those of you who aren't as nerdy as I assume). Kevin Bacon's performance was the identical twin of Johnny Knoxville's in "The Ringer", A classic comedy gem which if you haven't seen it yet, go for it. While Knoxville played Jeffy about 18 years later than bacon, it is still remarkable how they seem like the same character yet one is meant to be funny and the other oscar worthy. I am not sure if this is props to Knoxville, or a knock on Bacon's portrayal (which was pretty good). That's all I got, I was just thinking about it. For those of you expecting something more from this little thought, I apologize.

Giant Rats Discovered:
American and Indonesian scientists and explorers have discovered two new mammals in the Indonesian jungle. The first is a tiny possum that is completely boring. However the second mammal is a giant rat that is about 5 times the size of a normal city rat (although I am not sure what normal size of a city rat is, because here atleast, they are pretty damn big). Check out the link to see a picture of the new "super-rat" that will most likely now be making its way to NY and other various US cities soon.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/12/17/giant.rat.ap/index.html

Sarkozy Still Looks Like Kevin Mcdonald:
This headline is supposed to read something about him and his date with a hot French super model at Disney Land-Paris. Its supposedly big news because he just got divorced blah blah blah. Look at these two pictures and tell me I am not crazy. Albeit Mcdonald is younger i'll give you that, but I am starting to think that this crazy Canadian from "Kids in The Hall" is actually the French President's illegitimate child.
Sarkozy- http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/graphics/2007/02/09/france/fpsar.jpg
Mcdonald-http://www.hahaha.com/images/2007/spectacles/KevinMcDonaldbriHammyandtheKidsi_519_PH.jpg

Lieberman Backs McCain:
No not the french fries. The Senator! Former Denocratic Vice Presidential candidate and now Independent Senator Joe Lieberman has endorsed Sen. John McCain's presidential bid. Contrary to all the comments currently being made, Sen. Joe has not actually crossed any partisan lines since he is an independent. While I agree that McCain is one of the good candidates (not THE candidate, but its my opinion) I can't help but wonder if this could possibly also be a big fuck you to the Democratic party for abandoning him (Lieberman) during his last election. He kicked the Dem. challengers butt, and now he is the Chuck Norris of politics. Or he would be if the real Chuck Norris wasn't actually involved in politics. Could you imagine if he was president? The rest of the world would back off threats and there would be no more kidnappings and terrorism or we would just send the president after them.
Norris/Bauer '08.
Also this is being hailed as a "key endorsement" for McCain. Now I agree with that whole-heartedly and I do know that there are many key endorsements for politicians, but it seems that every single person who endorses a candidate is a key endorser. I think they need to create a seperate group, perhaps the "super-key endorsements".

This article is here thanks to my man Gizmo. Please read it, it is hilarious. Just make sure you scroll all the way down. http://cgi.ebay.com/******-Hero-III-3-Legends-of-Rock-Wii-NEW-WITH-RECEIPT_W0QQitemZ200181539427QQihZ010QQcategoryZ62053QQssPageNameZWDVW
QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem#ebayphotohosting

Russia Sends Nuclear Fuel to Iran:
The Russians are helping the Iranians build a Nuclear plant, however they swear that the fuel can only be used at one site, and that the Iranians are not allowed to use it elsewhere. They promised. WWIII.

Dan Fogelberg Dies at age 56:
To be honest, I never got into soft rock so I don't know his music, but Jonny loves soft rock and therefore I thought it was appropo since this blog is dedicated to him. Dan Fogelbreg is also referenced in "Baseketball". I though some one might want to know that.

Magna Carta Up For Sale:
Yes. THE Magna Carta. For all of you ignoramuses out there, go google magna carta right now.
The expected haul is around $30 million. To be honest, i'd think it would go for more. Next up on the auction block is the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Human Rights. How can you sell the Magna Carta?

Ok, this is a pretty messed up story. I'll give you the link to read, but I just want to say my favorite quote is "We never did anything to anybody, how could this happen to us in America?" The article can be found here: http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/law/12/17/forced.labor.ap/index.html

Teen Joking About Killing Grandparents, For Satan:
An 18-year old kid in Ohio has been arrested after he was turned in by the leader of of the Church of Satan. The kid sent in a letter to them saying he would kill his grandparents, steal their monet and their car, all in the "name of our unholy lord Satan". The teen said it was just a joke. Hilarious.
The church said they get hundreds of letters a day, but this one stood out as something they should report. He said they are not devil worshippers, but atheists who believe Satan is a symbol of freedom, not evil. There is something wrong with kids these days.

Artist Donates Pickled Cow:
An English Artist is donating his famous pickled calf and cow to an art museum. The exhibit is a calf and a cow both which were neatly bisected longways, and then suspended in formaldehyde. I am suprised this isnt some crazy PETA circus over this. I personally don't care, but it is interesting that they can pick and choose their battles.

California Terrorists Convicted:
3 California men were convicted yesterday on terrorism charges after being found guilty of conspiring to attack U.S. Military installations, "infidels", LA synagogues, and other Jewish facilities during the high holidays in order to "kill as many people as possible". Interestingly enough, they have no ties to any international group and are just plain old American Muslim terrorists that cooked up a plot in prison to rob gas stations to fund terrorism. It's crazy how this stuff is happening here in our country everyday, and people have no clue.

Connecticuit Teacher Not Cultured Enough:
A Conn. teacher barricaded herself in her classroom and called the police after receiving what she assumed was a death threat over the loudspeaker. She was in the school late after hours and assumed the place was empty. So did the 3 teens who were doing karaoke on the school's PA system. One of the students was singing Guns N' Roses' "Welcome to The Jungle" and when the teacher heard the verse "you're in the jungle baaaby, you're gonna dieeeeeeee" she feared for her life. If only she had a broader taste in music she would not have flipped out the way she did.

The Most Wonderful Thing About Tiggers Is:
Their socks are worth $95,000. A group of parents sued the Northern California School District over their dress code after a child was sent home for wearing a pair of Tigger socks. They were awarded $95,000 to cover their legal costs.

Woman Has 10 Husbands:
A Cuban-American woman has been convicted of bigamy in Florida after authorities discovered she is currently married to no less than 10 men. All of them were seeking legal status and the woman married them for a fee. This is common (though illegal) practice in the United States for all sorts of immigrants, I even know someone who did it. However the woman never divorced any of the men, and continued to extort them for money. How could the system fail so many times to not discover this?

Ohio Paints Jails Pink and Purple:
Supposedly pink is a softer color that calms people. The purple bars are just a matching color to go alnog with the pink walls. I think its just gonna piss off a lot of inmates, but what do I know?

The Redskins took down the Giants last night 22-10 to keep their playoff hopes alive.
The Dolphins got their first win over the Ravens, who suck.
and David Garrard looks silly in those hats he wears after the game. The 1920's are over and it looks over the top.

Keepin it real from the loop.

can't miss

Heading out early today, no time to fully give you what you crave, yearn for, desire: A full blog.

But, I ran across this article and I feel like it would be a great conversation started for you this weekend. It is about an artist who is displaying poop to support Indians in the lower castes, and has previously filled a German synogogue with poisinous gas to make some sort of statement that was probably 80 years too late.

I think this person is self-centered and believes they are doing good in the world, when really there is a lot more they could do than put poop on display. Read it for yourself.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22246508/

UGH...or is it HGH?

Welcome to the Afternoon Update.

Today is the biggest blah day I have ever had. I didn't find too many stories that tickled my fancy today, but here's what I got.

Obama is A Drug Dealer:
A senior official in the Hilary Clinton campaign made a comment, then retracted it, that the Republicans are going to bash him in a national election due to his prior drug use. He also stated that they might make it seem like he was a drug dealer. Now I know how these things work, someone makes a statement and then takes it back so that it is as if "it never happened", but clearly this is just a tactic to use smear words alongside the name of a candidate. Now America is pretty dumb, so when headlines have the words "Obama" and "drug dealer" in the same place, people with draw their own unfounded conclusions.
This being said, I think it might be interesting, should Obama win, whether many Americans will relate with him regarding this issue. I will take a stab and say that a good majority of people tried smoking pot in college, atleast once. And they are hypocrites if they bash him for it. I mean hey, it hasnt stopped George W.

White House Pages Perform Oral Sex:

Two White House pages have been kicked out of the page program for allegedly having oral sex in public areas of the Capitol Hill dormitory. Now the thing is I can understand why they were kicked out, many programs for high schoolers, the least of which on Capitol Hill, have restrictions regarding sexual activity. But the big deal is there is going to be a bipartisan investigation and blah blah blah... It was just two high schoolers fooling around! It happens everyday, it does not need to be a huge political scandal. It is moment like this that make me realize how overly dramatic Capitol Hill has become, its like a frikin soap opera!


Ok I had a bunch more stories to discuss, including a car dangling from a parking garage (here's the video- http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/12/13/chetry.dangling.car.cnn) and a really clever pregnancy scam. But I have decided to talk about the Mitchell Report instead.

Mitchell Report:
Note, Brady Anderson is NOT, repeat NOT listed in the reports. Therefore this completely absolves him of any steroids use, and now his 51 home run season can stand as one of the best offensive productions from a lead-off hitter with sideburns.

Anyways, the Mitchell Report is annoying because it has completely bogarted the news today. It is dominating every sports page, and has infiltrated everywhere else as well. My "two cents" as it were, are twofold.
1) Is this going to change baseball forever? I don't think so. Especially looking at all the big names on the list this pretty much is showing that steroids and HGH have been a staple of baseball since the 80's. Now let me ask you this, are they all cheaters now? As far as the rules are concerned yes, but at the same time, all the top hitters and pitchers were juicing. Which brings me more imporantly to my second point.
2) Should all of their accomplishments be taken away. This isnt just a Barry Bonds asterix debate anymore. This is Clemens and all his rediculuos career stats. Andy Pettite, Miguel Tejada, Eric Gagne, Gary Sheffield. These are household names in the baseball world. Without them to be honest, if you believe that Pujols never juiced, there might only be 2 superstars who are innocent. So the thing is, now that most good players have cheated, is the level of play going to dip back down? is it unfair if everyone has the same advantage? Baseball was a joke before a lot of players rejuvinated it with 100 Mph, and 68 HR's in a season. Nonody cared about the sport, and it was on a downhill slope. There are people out there saying this is the biggest scandal since the "say it aint so Joe" and the BlackSox. It is completely different. I don't see this as a scandal. People have known about this for decades. What was the point of doing this report, right after the congressional hearings smeared the sports name recently? All in all this is not going to affect anything other than the news for a few weeks. And years from now people can quote the report to bash their old favorite players. I think this was a rediculous stunt, and the American people's tax money could be put to better use by our senators.

Finally!

Tejada got traded. No time to blog so much stuff going on today. Mainly cutting out paper decorations for the office but you'd be suprised how much time that takes up.

Plus this video is great: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/12/12/news.12.robber.hit.news12

Here is a list of my idea for today incase you wish to investigate them yourselves.

woman and her monkey-http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/12/11/intv.monkey.reunion.cnn

weed cave- http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22209230/
hilary's losing her grip
icelandic teen pranks calls white house
romney-huckabee

angelina doesnt love her natural child- “I think I feel so much more for Madd and Zee because they’re survivors, they came through so much. Shiloh seemed so privileged from the moment she was born. I have less inclination to feel for her ...

Sarkozy looks like kevin mcdonald from "kids in the hall" http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1196847320451&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

John Doe stab victim identified as minister who was frequenting his favorite prostitute: http://www.click2houston.com/news/14827154/detail.html

enjoy your day of investigative journalism

addendum

Just saw this article, Read it, know it, live it.

No but seriously, this is a good read. Depending on how you define good.

http://sports.espn.go.com/outdoors/hunting/news/story?id=3150157

"Fancy gadgets and technobobs"

"fancy gadgets and technobobs the young’uns of today are so keen on. “I can't deal with that stuff,” the venerable luddite confessed. “I mean, you have iPods and stripods and phones." - Mickey Rooney, on technology.

I'm not really feeling it today. But i'll give you my best shot.

Welcome to the Afternoon Update. The one stop spot for anything and everything that could come up in conversation at a cocktail party.

Not too much news today that was deemed necessary to comment on, but here it is.
Also if you did not follow the link yesterday to http://www.nuttbuddy.com/ go there now and watch the video. It is so totally worth it.

Stacey Peterson Case is Getting Boring:
Well it is, OK. If they are so sure that the cop murdered his wife, then make the case! Its not like they don't know where he is. And also, please don't take this as a generalization. But she married a dude who had been married 3 times, and his last wife was found dead after it was deemed "an accident". Ok I know coincidences happen but maybe she could have had better judgement. I dunno, its just boring me that its on the front pages day after day. There are more important things going on.
Like media bias in the middle east.

This is a video article about a principle who pepper sprayed kids to break up a fight. Well maybe now they won't fight anymore. http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/12/11/wtvc.principal.pepper.spray.wtvc

Led Zeppelin Kicks Ass:
The reviews are in from last night's show and apparently it was beyond amazing. I cannot wait to spend every penny I have to see this band live. PLEASE go on tour.

Electronic Headstones Don't Sell:
A company that created electronic headstone attachments is currently not making any money. The device is weather proof and is powered by solar cells. It attaches to a headstone and can open like a book. Inside is a video screen that can play picture slide shows, videos, music, etc.
They are currently sold in, I believe 12 stores nation wide. One store said they haven't sold any, while another said they sold one last year. I don't think Americans are ready for this yet, or if they ever will be. I know i'm not.

Sextuplets Liar Caught:
A man and his wife were convicted of fraud last year after telling a community that they had given birth to gravely ill sextuplets and needed money to help them survive. The couple later admitted that it was a hoax, and were sentenced to pay back the monies and were place on parole. They both violated their paroles and the husband has turned himself in today. His wife is still at large. I feel like sextuplets are something that is hard to make-up and have people believe you about, so kudos to the criminal couple. At the same time, all the people who blindly gave their money away, smack yourselves upside the head, because you coulda used that money to get a CIA agent to use a satellite to check out any medical problems you may have.

NYC Councilman Tries to Ban Horse-Drawn Carriages:
This is exactly the reason why you don't let hippies into politics. Councilman Tony Avella plans to introduce a bill banning the popular/touristy-old timey type of transportation. Avella along with animal rights groups claim that it is wrong and it is not respecting the horses rights. Considered a long time tradition in NYC, The Horse and Carriage Association of NY has said that they treat their horses like children and that Avella is the one who should be "put out to pasture". Other comments made, that were not included in the article: "Why don't these people pay more attention to helping other people in NYC, say the homeless, then worrying about the horse's rights?" There have been no formal allegations of abuse except from PETA-type groups who claim that its wrong. I think sometimes people just cross the line to cross the line. I mean seriously? This is rediculous.

Turkey Jumps Through Window, Man Throws it Back:
A turkey crashed through a 3rd floor window of an apartment building in where?...Michigan! The state where everything silly happens. An 83-year old man who lives in the apartment cornered the turkey and threw it back out the window, where it died. He is looking to donate it to a needy family.

Restaurant Encompasses Graveyard:
A very popular restaurant in India is actually right on top of a Muslim cemetery. Tombstones are scattered around the room, some being used as tables. This is not a big deal in India since death is just another cycle, however it is interesting that there has been no public outcry from Muslims over this. Can you just imagine if this happened anywhere else in the world? or even better, if it was a Jewish or Christian cemetery? Kinda creepy, but whatever does it for ya.

Woman Shoots Neighbors over Decorations:
In what I think has to amount to the story of the day, a Louisiana woman was pissed because she believed her neighbors dog had ruined some of her x-mas decorations. The woman and her boyfriend got into an argument on Sunday with their neighbors over the damaged decorations, when she went into the house, grabbed her trusty firearm and shot the neighbors. One man was hit in the upper torso and arm, the other in an arm. The injuries were not life threatening.
Can anyone argue with me that there is a better story today? I didn't think so.

The Universe is Theoretically Dented:
Read about it. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22186054/

Putin's Successor Calls for Him to Become PM:
Wow, what a suprise. I did not see that coming. All this means is that he will still be in charge when the U.S. and Russia go to war over the Kosovo situation. Which by the way is extremely volitile right now.

Scrooge McDuck Spotted Swimming in Pennies:
A bin containing 100 million pennies is on display in NYC for the holidays, before the roughly $1,000,000 is donated to charity. Could you imagine swimming in this thing like on Ducktales? I loved that show. GIZMO DUCK!

There is a place called Monkey Run, Arkansas. I shit you not

Tyra Banks has reportedly been called fat by a former "America's Next Top Model" judge. If that is the case, I apparently am very into fat women.

My arms are tired from typing.
more tommorow

Keepin it real from the loop.

Thank God for Al Gore

Welcome one and all to the Afternoon Update. Please enjoy today's listing, which I have tried to make as little sad as possible.

So first I have to give you a follow up rant/question to some of my previous blogging rants. As I have repeatedly mentioned, there are 2 guys on my floor who literally live in the bathroom. They are always in there brushing their teeth, flossing, taking naps, etc. Now I will pose a moral/ethical question. I have noticed (since they are ALWAYS in there) that one of them, the grosser of the two, has been conducting his business in the Handicap stall even though the other one is open. Now this would raise the normal questions about whether one should take a handicap spot/stall, even if no one else would use it, BUT on my floor there is a co-worker of mine who is disabled and uses a wheelchair. Therefore there actually a person who needs to use this stall daily. This should obviously be taken into consideration by the other guys. What if he comes in and needs to go the bathroom? He now has to wait for the gross guy to finish. Should this individual be chastised for his actions? (theoretically, I wan't nothing to do with him actually). Is it un-ethical what he is doing?
You decide! Post your answers in the comment section.

Now for the news.

The story of the day was an easy one for me, because it shows how Canadians are silly.
Pig Farmer Convicted of 6 Murders; More to Follow:
A pig farmer has been convicted of 6 murders and is expected to go on trial for atleast 20 other killings in Canada yesterday. My thing is that if anybody had seen the movie "Snatch"they would know to never trust a pig farmer. This man could have been caught a lot earlier.

President Huckabee:
I know is sounds silly and it could still be a longshot blah blah blah, BUT he looks more like a plausible candidate now. How silly would it be to announce President Huckabee to the world. It just doesn't roll off the tongue as easily as say...Van Buren or Fillmore.

Kosovo-Serbia Headed for War:
The "Troika" of the U.S., Russia, and the EU has announced today that after 2 years of negotiations and exhausting every possible angle, Serbia and the Albanian majority in Kosov have not even come close to reaching an agreement. Kosovo wants their independence and has announced they will do whatever is necessary. This is definitly going to be a war. On an interesting side note, The Albanian majority in Kosovo is mostly Muslim. This is interesting because they wave American flags during their protests and marches for independence. Now I am not trying to assume that normally Muslims do not support the U.S., but most places in the world with a Muslim majority population would not be doing that.

Granny Caught With Loaded Hand-gun, at Disney:
A 63-year old grandmother was arrested in FL yesterday after security at Disney World found a loaded handgun in her purse during a routine security check. She was accompanying her daughter and grandchildren. Security also found a knife and a pair of scissors. The woman claimed that she forgot the gun was in her purse and it was just a mistake. She was quoted as saying "I forget a lot of things. That might sound silly and stupid, but I did not remember that the pistol was down there..." Now there are two ways one can look at this. First, if she was really so innocent, its kinda wierd that she would also have a knife and pair of scissors, I know it could be a coincidence, but its still strange. The better question is, if she really did just forget, and she "forgets things all the time" maybe she shouldn't be allowed to have the gun. Perhaps we should throw in loaded fire-arms in along with liscenses as things that should be taken away from old people.
Just a thought.

Santa Train Kills 2:
The "Santa Express" a train that takes kids from Detroit to somewhere else in Michigan to see santa each weekend, struck a car that drove into the train tracks in nowheresville Michigan. There are warning signs, however there is no warning lights and according to local sources, "an accident was bound to happen". So why didn't someone put up the lights you may ask? No comment. The driver and one of 2 passengers were killed on impact, and the third passenger is in critical condition. The ground shows skid marks atleast 25 yards before the tracks, which indicates the car was driving at a high speed before collision. Perhaps they were trying to race the train. None of the 30 children on board were injured.

Man Bear Pig is Real!!
I am super serial about this. Why won't anyone take me serial? Al Gore received his Nobel Peace Prize today for making the world aware of the existence of Manbearpig. Manbearpig is kinda like a man, but is more bearpiggish. Now that Messr. Gore has received his award he gave a warning to the U.S. and China to stop manbearpig before it ruins the world. He is our savior. Without him everything would be different. Thank God for Al Gore.

This website is pretty hilarious, its a video to test a new product developed by former pro baseball player. Shout out to Pronto for sending me this one. http://www.nuttybuddy.com/ , I think that is the correct address. Just click on the video.

Nun Has Dirty-Whorish-Smelly Pirate Hooker Mouth:
A Nun in Michigan (yes Mich. AGAIN) who is also the principle of a middle school gave her 5th-8th graders a list of swear words she would not tolerate. She did not however post the list, but read it out loud in an assembly in church. The list contained ALL the swear words she would not tolerate, including meekrob.

Mountain Lion Chills in Hot Tub:
A South Dakotan woman was relaxing in her hot tub when a moutain lion appeared out of the bushes, jumped on the side of her tub, chilled for a moment, and then took off. Really he was just a peeping tom. The lesson of this story is to not live in South Dakota.

Whooping Cough Comes Roaring Back:
That's right! after an almost 95 year hiatus, the whooping cough epidemic is having a comeback tour. Starting off at Bob Jones University in South Carolina, the whoops as we like to call it, is looking to spread across the country to your neighborhood. Now some of you may be thinking, wait! isn't this one of those diseases that people died from in the early 1900's and we have since cured? Well yes we have! That is how rediculous this is, yet it literally affected the whole university. For all you history buffs out there, this should take you back, you can even ask your grandfather or great-grandfather what is like the very first time they had the whoops.

CNN reported an article today that a local grocery story accidentally advertised hams as "Delicious for Chanukah." Now I would just like to take this minute to say, HA! We here at the Afternoon Update had that story last week. CNN is sooooooo behind the times.

I am too lazy to write about this story, but you should read it. It shows how stupid some policemen are. (sorry, police-people). http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22155954/

A German Interior Minister is trying to ban Scientology, because it is "unconstitutional".

In Entertainment news:

Daniel Baldwin continues to give the other hardworking and talented Baldwins such as Alec and Stephen a bad name. He failed to appear in court for a hearing after being arrested for cocaine and drug paraphanelia earlier in the year. Shame on you Daniel for besmirching their good name.

Sweden to Build ABBA Museum:
Not only that, but it will be 3 floors. Are hot 6''0 blondes, Ikea, and ABBA really all that Sweden has to offer? I mean ABBA was cool and all, but........

Paris Hilton:
Reportedly Paris punched her ex-boyfriends new lady in the face over the weekend. She has not been charged with anything, and there are those saying she never hit anyone.
I would love to see her throw a punch.

New pictures of Amy Winehouse appeared on various news sites today, and I maintain now more than ever that she is terrifying. She looks scary, like a messed up version of a Disney villain.

England lost badly to Sri-Lanka in Cricket, the Pats beat the crap out of the Steelers, and the Colts tore the Ravens a new one.

Listen to "The Throwdown" with Gordo and Steen every Sunday night for all of your sportstalk on blogtalk radio.

That's all for now, EXCELSIOR!!!!!!

Keepin it real from the loop.

O So Glorious Friday

Welcome to the Afternoon Update, your one stop blog with everything you need. Thereby really living up to its hyped up nickname "the afternoon delight".

Make sure this weekend to listen to "The Throwdown with Gordo and Steen" on blogtalk radio for all of your sports needs.

Its a short list today, but I have some things to say so it'll probably stay a lengthy blog this Friday. After confabulating with a friend of mine named pronto, I have a little rant for you guys later. (yes, that is the word of the day)

Adulterous Lover to Vote for Clinton:
The big news in the political world today is that former President Bill "the pimp" Clinton lover Gennifer Flowers has stated that she would want a woman in the White House, and is even mulling over voting for Hilary. Hilary has made mean remarks about Ms. Flowers in the early 90's.
What I love is that this woman is just grabbing the spotlight. These people are rediculous, the second they think they can get a day or two of press to indulge themselves in self-glorification, they grab it! What a shallow individual. What I am much more concerned about is who Monica is going to vote for.

UN Warns Serbia Against Renewed Violence:
The Serbian Government has hinted that violence could be used in Kosovo to stop their independence. Does this remind anybody else of the mid 90's?

Drunk State Trooper Arrested:
An off duty NC state trooper drove his car into a lake yesterday, after driving while intoxicated. The trooper's 2 children were in the car as well. The fun part about this story is that the intoxicated man of the law kicked the arresting officer in the shin. That really hurts. Also the NC State Police department came out with a statement saying they were "very disapointed". What is this? a state legal matter or a 3rd grade punishment?

Bush Gives Out Wrong Phone Number:
I know what you are thinking, we've all done that to the ugly guy/girl who won't leave you alone at the bar, but in this case its a little different. President Bush announced his new relief hotline for mortgages, but accidentally gave out 1-800-995-HOPE instead of the correct number 1-888-995-HOPE. Many people's calls were directed to the wrong place.

Syria Blocks Facebook:
Syria has blocked the internet friend maker Facebook due to fears of Israeli Spies. I never realized it was so easy to be a spy, I always assumed Mossad and other intelligience agencies were more complex. What kind of secrert government information is floating around Facebook?

Former Navy Chaplain Charged:
A former priest at the Naval Academy has been charged with sexual assault after pleading guilty to haveing sex with an Airforce officer as well as forcing himself upon a cadet and sodomizing him at the Academy. The kicker for this one is that the priest is HIV positive and did not tell either person. So far neither of the two people he had relations with have tested positive.

Fake Priest Runs Up Tab:
A man posing as a Roman Catholic Priest ran up a tab of $98 at a local convenience store, telling the clerks to put it on the churches tab. There is a church across the street which has an open tab there. The man was caught after he started buying things like energy drinks and cigarettes. BUSTED!

Gizmo's Corner:
Robots Play the Violin:
There is a lot to say here, so read the article. This is really cool stuff.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/12/06/toyota.robots.ap/index.html

Happy Birthday Matze and Charly:
The world's oldest Gorilla and Orangutan both celebrated their 50th birthdays this week.
Matze the gorilla has sired 17 children, while Charly comes out on top with 18. They are both great-grandfathers and are the patriarchs of the gorilla and orangutan communities worldwide.

Hershey Makes Cocaine Candy:
Hershey, which owns the Ice Breakers label has come out with a new dissolvable mint powder that is packaged in little blue bags. They look EXACTLY like what street cocaine in dimebags look like and police have said they are going to have massive problems telling the difference. There is also a concern that this will help drug dealers move their product since it can be so confusing. Some parents have expressed concerns that it will be hazardous to children since it would be hard for them to tell the difference if they saw a bag of either on the ground.
To be honest, if your kid is eating bags of powder off the ground, you've got other problems to worry about.

Rhino Poop For Sale:
The International Rhino foundation is auctioning 4 types of Rhino poo just in time for the holidays. The highest bid on ebay right now is $500 for one of the fecal pies. I guess the draw is that they are all endangered species. The 5th type of rhino is so rare they could not get a sample of its poop. I don't get that either, if one exists how hard is it to scoop up their poop?

Fortune Teller Arrested for Fraud:
A fortune teller in Cyprus has been arrested after convincing a man to give her roughly $13,000 to remove an evil spell placed on him and for continued magical protection. I don't get what the problem is. How are fortune tellers supposed to make a living if they cannot take poeple's money? isnt all fortune telling fraud? I bet I can go to a carnival, spend $5 and then sue them. Look out American seers, i'm coming for you.

I was gonna write a whole lot about the MySpace hoax that led to a girl hanging herself, because there was an interesting article on the aftermath in her community. But i'll just let you read it. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22134552/ . I bet some asshole is going to do something stupid and ruin more peoples lives.

A friend of mine, who is a female informed me this morning that at 4 AM she awoke from her slumber to go to the loo. Upon arrival in said toilet room, she found a large (from what I can tell from her) grasshopper-spider (the kind that jump) in the bathroom. Instead of just killing it, she attempted to cover it with a cup, but it knocked the cup over. After this her roomate awoke and they both became hysterical for a while before finally figuring out a way to capture it and throw it outside. So the riddle has been answered, how many young women does it take to get rid of a spider? 2, the answer is 2.
Now I know (some) women get scared by bugs and mice and the like, but theres got to be a point in ones life when one realizes that they are 1,000 times larger than the bug and could easily squish it. This is a much longer and hilarious story, however I felt it necessary to mention because it will keep me entertained for a while.

In sports, a fan ran onto the field during the Redskins-Bears game last night:
Bears DL Tommie Harris said he was bumped by the fan who ran onto the field. “I didn’t know whether to beat him up,” Harris said. That woulda been priceless.

KC's got some guests this week, PG's brinin the bottle.

Keepin it real from the loop.

And We're Back.....

Sorry about the absence of substance the past few days. I was really busy, then kinda busy, and then eventually just lazy. But now I have reinvigorated myself to write a super-duper-double-looper of a blog today. (For those of you who didn't get that reference, it is a roller-coaster at Hershey Park)

Lotta stuff today, sad, funny, idiotic, and everything that falls in-beteween.

To start us off, lets talk Presidential campaigns.
Hilary Campaign sends out Obama=Terrorist e-mails.
A party organizer for the Hilary Clinton campaign in Iowa has been fired after auto-sending out e-mails that suggest Obama is a muslim (nothing wrong with that) and that his bid for the white house is so he can destroy America and support international terrorism. Or it was something of that ilk anyways. The woman who stepped down said she doesn't see what the problem was, since she never claimed that those facts were true, she was merely informing people of some of the information that is out there.
This is a despicaple move by Clinton's campaign. I am not saying she had anything to do with it, but perhaps the campaign itself should be more careful of who they hire. I think the woman's claim is rediculous, she knew exactly what she was doing, and due to how dumb Americans are (I have more on that later) she knew it would be damaging. Also on a side note, I find it pretty wierd that I keep defending Obama on my blog, which is wierd since I do not usually support the Democratic party. I just think the Dems are making this whole race a lot more entertaining through their shenanigans.

Guilliani counters Huckabee:

There ya go, some Republican action. Former NY mayor Rudolphus guilianus held a campaign event with former Baltimore Orioles pitcher Curt Schilling. This is the next step in celebrity backing for the candidates, and it apparently really works. Huckabee has been endorsed by Chuck Norris for weeks now, and he has jumped substantially in the Iowa polls.

Fred Thompson is an anti-southerner:
or is he? Nine, I repeat nine protesters picketed outside a Thompson campaign event in Sotuh Carolina, touting confederate flags and posters that read "South Carolina hates Thompson". This was in response to the former governer's comments at a recent debate that read: ""as far as a public place is concerned, I am glad that people have made the decision not to display it as a prominent flag, symbolic of something, at a state capital." However, Thompson who is a southern boy himself did clarify and state "As a part of a group of flags or something of that nature, you know, honoring various service people at different times in different parts of the country, I think that's different."
Jim Hanks, chairman of the South Carolina League of the South, accused Thompson of "Masquerading as a good ole boy" and that he was not truly southern. I feel like he could do without the support of those 9 people and their kin.

The Killer Monkeys are Here!:
That's right, they have somehow come to the US from India and are now attacking US convenience store clerks. While that is a fabrication, it is true that a clerk was attacked by a customer's pet monkey after it bit her in the face. Watch the video, http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/12/05/faherty.clerk.attacked.by.monkey.wsoc

Nebraska Mall Shooting leaves 8 dead, others wounded:
A Nebraska mall was terrorized yesterday after 19 year old Robert Hawkins opened fire on a group of people with an AK-47, after which he turned the gun on himself. This story is being covered pretty heavily on all the major networks, and it is just a horrible event. Its another example of how troubled youth in America find outlets by killing people.

The thing I have with this story is a quote from his foster mother that appeared in one of the articles. "She told the Omaha World-Herald that Hawkins showed her an assault rifle the night before the rampage, but because of his mild demeanor she wasn't alarmed" How can someone who has a range of emotional problems be considered safe with an AK-47. I am in no way blaming her for his actions, but a little better judgement on her part could have prevented this catastrophe.

Following a similar horrible trend
Mothers in Germany Arrested After Killing Children:
A 31 year old German woman was arrested after the bodies of her 5 children were found in the house yesterday. The kids were aged 3-9. The woman has a history of mental illness and is being considered the top suspect for the killings. In a completely different country, another German woman has been arrested twice! after the bodies of her three children were found in her home. The woman was originally arrested after police found the body of her dead baby, however she was released because the death was deemed an accident. She re-arrested after police searched her home and found anothe one of her children in the freezer. She later admitted that the 3rd child's body was hidden on the porch.
What is going on? There are more and more stories like this every day. Not just of killings, but of mother's killing their children. I cannot express how concerned this makes me, I do not know how a mother could do such a thing.

On a much lighter note
There is a CNN article telling people how to behave at holiday parties, sort of a "do's and dont's" list. I mean look all you need to NOT do is get smashed and act like an asshole. It only takes a complete lack of common sense for a person to get fired from their holiday party actions.

Florida Man Beaten by Police:
This is another example of Florida's finest. They must be the worst police force in the USA. There are more stories about them than anywhere else. The story is that the man was being chased by police in a stolen car, after which he fled on foot and was caught in an airport parking lot. The cameras captured the police officers punching and kicking the suspect, while he was showing no signs of resisting. It gets better since he was being chased as a suspect in an armed robbery which he was not involved in. The car was listed as stolen by his wife who was in a spat with him. The dude is going to jail, but he could still sue for a lot of money after getting his ass kicked illegally.

Man Shot, Killed By Toddler:
A Georgia man was shot and killed by a 19 month old toddler Tuesday night. He was in a recording studio when a toddler, presumably the child of a friend, came in and grabbed a loaded gun that was in the room. The child then caused the firearm to go off and he was shot in the head.
Now common sense, (again) dictates that one does not leave a loaded firearm within reach of a toddler. It is very sad that such a thing happened, but these things happen so needlessly its rediculous.

Check out this story which is about what has to be the fattest baby in the world.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=499925&in_page_id=1811#StartComments

Beware Israeli Crime Lords:
An Israeli judge has been placed under 24 protective detail after her house was broken into last night. At the same time a relative of hers house was also broken into. Earlier in the week, the judge sent reputed mob boss Assi Abutbul and Jerusalem kingpin Eli Naim known as "the magician" to prison on various small charges. Its kinda like putting Al Capone away for tax evasion. Abutbul stated to the press that "she would pay the price" for convicting him.

Led Zeppelin May Tour after Reunion Concert:

Robert Plant has mentioned that there is a possibility for the band to play additional shows and perhaps go on tour after their planned reunion show this month. Asked about the probability of the tour, he said the less people talk about it, the more likely it will happen. The more people talk adds pressure to the band, he said. SO EVERYBODY PLEASE: SHUT UP! I really really want to see Led Zeppelin in concert, so don't ruin this for me.

Robotic Soldiers:
Check out this story, it will blow your mind its so cool. http://money.cnn.com/2007/12/03/technology/robotex.fortune/index.htm?postversion=2007120403?cnn=yes

And now for why Americans are stupid
Couple Arrested for Satellite Scam:
A Louisiana man and his wife have been arrested after convincing friends and family that the wife was a CIA agent who could use her "connections" to use a satellite to find out what is medically wrong with them. The couple scammed these people out of more than $800,000. Why arent the morons who gave their life savings away being arrested for stupidity?

Dog Causes Grease Fire:
A kansas woman was frying some fish when she went to take the garbage out. While outside, her dog managed to close the door behind her, thus locking the woman out of her house. The fish set the house ablaze, causing more than $50,000 in damages. Beware your pets, or they'll get you back.

Dirty Microsoft Santa:
I am not sure how to explain all of this technical jargon, perhaps my pal Gizmo would be able to, but he's not here. So instead, follow this link: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22119458/

Teen Walks for First Time after Six Flags Accident:
I don't remember reading about this when it happened, but a girl has both her feet chopped off in an accident on Six Flags' Super Man ride. The girl has taken her first steps today on her new prosthetic feet.

Girls Dominate Science Fair:
Normally I wouldn't care about this, but the things they did research on was rediculous. Read the article http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22088018/
I remember doing a science fair project where we made hot chocolate through legos, and that was advanced. Kids these days....

An interesting tidbit, some physical therapists are now starting to use Nintendo Wii as a treatment. I thought that was cool.

Entertainment news:
Britney threatens Paris with a new sex tape. (although it would be a good source of income for the former pop queens drug habits), and Chris Rock is being chastised by Oprah. The article was interesting because it made it seem like Oprah was the queen of black people and Chris Rock should be concerned her irked her. Why would Chris Rock care?

Thats all I got
Keepin it real from the loop.

No time today, lots of work.

HOWEVER, this video was brought to my attention. I think you should watch it, pronto. It is interesting.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/offbeat/2007/12/05/az.naked.shoppers.ktvk

quickly

Not alot of time today, but I thought this was worth noting.

The four suspects in the Sean Taylor case have been denied bail and are on suicide watch. The youngest of the four 17-year old Eric Rivera is being held in a juvenile institution. The reason I am writing this is because of the article, here are some exerpts:

"Three men were held without bail Tuesday in the killing of Sean Taylor, placed on a suicide watch and described as extremely distraught a day after thousands mourned at the funeral of the Washington Redskins star..."

""I think he's in disbelief over what occurred," said Rivera's attorney, Wilbur Smith. "His expression to me was that 'I can't believe this kind of thing happened."

There is more of that crap in the article for the other inmates. The kid broke into someones house with a gun and was intending to rob the owners. How does he not understnad how this happened? What moron is going to believe that they "cant believe this happened?"

Geez

"Put it on and stay strong", Hippies in trees, and lots of other fun stuff

Welcome to the afternoon update, AKA your afternoon delight.
Today's blog is chock-full of fun stories.

Beginning with....The story(s) of the day!!
And that would definitly have to be this.

Cat survives 19 days with jar stuck on head:
Like the headline doesn't say it all. An outdoor cat got it's head stuck in a peanut butter jar, haha, and then eluded its owners for almost 3 weeks before they finally got a hold of it, and lubed off the jar. Vets say the cat probably survived by burning off all its excess fat.
I wish they had taken some pictures.

The closest runner up to this would be the story about the tree man. I don't wanna write about, but check out this link. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22041771/

In political news, Hilary Clinton is a whiny baby:
I only say this because everyday now, there are always stories of her campaign whining about something another campaign did. Today's example would be over Barak O'bama's "hopefund". Now this in and of itself is boring, but then Clinton comes out making all these allegations that O'bama used money from this program to bribe public officials in early voting states. All I can say is that IF hilary wins, she might have a hard time convincing certain people to vote for her after accusing the first legitimate black candidate EVER of bribing officials in order to win. That statement somewhat suggests other things.

On a seperate note, I have been thinking about how awesome it would be to be Bill Clinton, should Hilary win the presidency. I mean if you think about it, instead of flying to other nations and meeting with wives of world leaders, he can just hang out and party with them, this would be made even easier given the fact that he knows them from his successful presidency. Pretty much, Bill could potentially have them best time EVER as a first "person".

In other important news, that CNN.com decided should be front page, headline material:
The Spice Girls are Officially Back Baby!!!
Normally I would reserve this story for later on in the blog's entertainment section, however, if it's good enough for CNN, then it's good enough for me. The Spice Girls performed on stage last night in Vancouver for the first time in 10 years..blah blah blah. This made the fucking front page!! This news site is such a piece of crap it's unbelievable. On a side note, "posh" spice is hot.

Another major headline
Why Bad Kissers Don't Get to Second Base:
In case you were wondering, it is a lovely story. My favorite quote would be the opening line: "Bad kissers -- we've all locked lips with one: the lizard, the washing machine, the cannibal, the spelunker." Now I challenge all of you to come up with and post a comment regarding what you think "the spelunker" is. My guess is a person whose togue bounces around the other's mouth, like someone spelunkingin a cave. You are also more than welcome to discuss the other ones, if it tickles your fancy.

Don Imus wears a funny Hat:
That's pretty much it. Look at the pictures of him at today's live radio broadcast.

In some interesting science news, apparently Carbon Dioxide can be baked in cakes. Im sure there is a step missing here, but still. New method of disposing of harmful chemicals, CO2 can be covnerted into safe baking soda. For more information on this, http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/11/29/climate.change.soda/index.html

Prison Fashion Show, not a big hit:
A prison fashion show, that featured 10 inmates in a Shelbyville, Tennessee jail has led to 3 guards being fired, and another one placed on suspended leave. Shelbyville is now famous for two things, this, and being the town over from where the Simpsons live. Investigators fired the guards after uncovering evidence that suggested innapropriate behavior by the guards. While the guards and inmates were never in the same room, one guard told one of the girls to "blow into the call box" which doubles as a microphone, and when she did this he put the speaker into his crotch.
My question is, how the hell did they find out such detailed information.

9 year old boy sentenced for rape in Israel:
The only reason I bring this up, is because this is the second case of rape by a nine year old in 2 weeks. In this scenario, the boy was going along with 21 and 19 year olds. But I think maybe Iit's time to reevaluate this age thing a little, or maybe not, I dunno.

Wedding Ring Saves Man's Life:
The owner of an antiques shop was saved from death by his wedding ring. The man was being robbed at gunpoint and when the theives told him to raise up his arms, they shot him. While throwing up his hand, the bullet bounced off of his wedding ring and passed through his fingers. A shard from the bullet was lodged in his neck, but it was not life threatening.
So for all of you "lifetime" bachelor's, maybe you should listen to your mom and get married already, it could save your life.

Woman sentenced to death:
A woman in Jacksonville FL has been sentenced to death by the jury in a case in which she and 3 other men buried an elderly couple alive, and then stole their money. The judge can still overturn the jury's decision. Personally I think for something like this, all four of the defendants should be buried alive as punishment. What they did was abhorrent. What I like is that since one of the men testified against the others, he is avoiding the death penalty. Nice.

And now for the fun stories.

Thieves steal $80,000 in Ham:
A group of thieves in Syndey Australia stole 16 tons of christmas hams from a ham and bacon warehouse last night. They left a messae "Thanks...Merry Christmas" on the wall. Let's see if these guys are going to be benevolent and give it all to charity and hungry people, or if they will somehow get into contact with the guy who stole 160 kegs of guiness and perhaps have a very long unkosher party.

8 Year Olds Suspended From Hockey Tournament After Brawl:
Please read this link, it is hilarious-http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21992789/

Tree Thief a Moron:
A Montana man stole numerous christmas trees from a store near his house, and placed them in front of his trailor for sale. However, he never removed the original price tags, and was easily caught about 5 hours later by the store's owner, his neighbor.

Hippies in Trees:
And where else would there be hippies in trees? (well I guess anyywhere because lets face it, hippies don't have anything productive to do) but at UC Berkeley, the famous hippies school for hippies, by hippies. The university is planning on building a sports training complex on the campus, and to do this they would have to uproot a grove of oak trees. They have built platforms and refuse to come down. Today marks the 1-year anniversary of the hippies living in the trees. The University has consulted lawyers, and they are in the clear to remove the hippies by force. Quote one hippie dubbed "Dumpster Muffin" It’s definitely coming to a head of some sort.” Supporters fill buckets with food, water, and reading material to the hipps, who then lower the bucket filled with garbage and human waste. "The sound of laughter and guitar music wafted from the trees" you know what my thing is? It's that these people don't do anything. And whats great! is that they are hobos who do nothing for themselves, and get fed without paying for a thing. So if you have no money and no motivation, go live in a tree in Berkeley and you will be taken care of dude.....
Dumpster Muffin? C'mon, these arent even good names anymore. But does anyone remember the Seinfeld episode with the muffin tops? classic.

Gunmen use endangered fruit bats for target practice:
There was a fruit bat massacre in Cyprus after gunmen apparently walked into a reserve and shot most of the bats, 20 survived. Who cares? its fruit bats. And the better thing is, they are not endangered! just in Cyprus, there are plenty of fruit bats throughout the middle east and north Africa, but since 40 were killed in Cyprus, its a tragedy. Now I think shooting animals for cruel sport is wrong, but I think this is an overreaction.

G.I. Jill:
A U.S. Army Seargent dubbed G.I. Jill is going to compete in the Miss America Pageant. She's ok looking, Personally I dont see it. Jill Stevens, if you wanted to google her.

A TV camera crew claims to have found fresh Yeti footprints near a stream on Mt. Everest. check out their evidence. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22041259/

And finally, although there is so much more but my arms are tired
Chimps beat college students at memory game:
check it out, http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071203/ap_on_sc/chimp_memory

keepin it real from the loop

The weekends a'comin

Sorry about not posting yesterday, I was in meetings all day. No time for blogs....

Welcome to the Afternoon Delight!
There is a TON of stuff for me today, so without further ado.

Hilary Clinton does not age well:
This headline cannot be found on any news site (atleast not today) but I find it to be pertinent information. There is an article on the CNN ticker about hilary pledging to change Bush's mandate on AIDS education blah blah blah. The REAL story is the picture that accompanies the article. She don't look too good. Now maybe its just me, but our past two presidents have not looked aged or haggard at all. I am not endorsing any politician yet, especially liberals, however in the democratic arena, I would prefer to have a good looking O'bama meeting with foreign officials and having photo ops than Hilary. I mean if that's what she looks like now, imagine her in 4 years! woof. Take a look on the CNN ticker to see what I mean.

In an update from a previous story
Cops killed in high speed chase did not follow procedure:
Apparently My assesment of the situation on Wednesday was not accurate. But then again, what do I know of such matters? According to the police chief, the two officers did not follow procedure when placing the road spikes. If they had done it correctly, they would have placed extending bands(or ropes or something) that run underneath the spikes, and would then be able to remove them without having to run back into the road. It is still a horrible tradgedy, but this somewhat, but not entirely, changes my opinion on who is at fault.

Jehova's Witness dies from religous beliefs:
Well not so much FROM his beliefs as DUE to his beliefs. A 14-year old boy with lukemia died this morning after refusing to receive a blood transfusion. Jehova's witnesses do not believe in transfusions since they believe it makes one "unclean". The Boy's biological parents, who are not his legal guardians, tried to force him to get the transfusion but a judge ruled earlier that he fully understood his actions, and upheld his choice to deny the treatment. There was an episode of "Scrubs" that dealt with this issue (and probably every other hospital show, but I don't watch them) but in the show they found a way to treat the patient. Unfortunately in real life, things don't always work out.
I wonder what the reasonings behind the "uncleanliness" of transfusions is. Is it any blood? what if there was a blood bank for just JW's? Then when aboslutely neccessary, in a life threatening situation such as this instance, they can get permission from their spiritual leader to get the transfusion.

Late night jobs are carcenogenic: (did I spell that right?)
A study by the International Agency for Research on Cancer has found a higher rate of breast and prostate cancer in men and women whose jobs begin after dark. I know this might be true, but isnt every thing in the world cancerous? Also should I be worried? I was a bouncer for 2 years and the job was almost completely performed at night. Chew on that!

In another updated story of less importance
Cell phone NOT the killer:
Contrary to original beliefs, the South Korean man found dead with an exploded cell phone is his pocket, was in fact murdered. One of his co-workers has confessed to "accidentally" killing the man when backing up his mining drill. I assume this is a large piece of machinery on wheels. The company who makes the phones, LG, has come out and said "na na, we told you so!" They are a bunch of know-it-alls is what they are.

Body of missing woman found...PORN STAR!!!
That last part was just to get your attention, do not worry, Jenna Jamison and all your other favorites are fine. The body of an 18 year old student who had been missing has been found in El Dorado Kansas. The police have discovered that the girl was apparently also a secret internet porn star who went by the name "Zoey Zane" (not nearly as creative as say, Misty Piper, but it works). Police have repeatedly said that her disappearance was in no way connected to her online alter-ego, but that because of the media coverage on her being a porn star, they are getting flooded with false leads and are having difficulty conducting the investigation: "The issue of the Internet and the spinoff of that has been literally crippling our investigation," the police chief stated.
The great thing about this is that the ariticle on CNN, one our most respected news sites, the headline reads "Body of missing porn star found". Real classy, way to help.

UK woman jailed in Sudan:
I don't think i've been covering this, but now I just have to. In the past few days, a UK woman teaching in the Sudan, has been arrested for allowing her 7-year old class to name their teddybear "Mohammed". She originally was going to be whipped, but was acquited of all the counts except one. She is currently serving her 15 day sentence in prison and then will be deported. The reason I feel it neccessary now, is becuase thousands of protesters are rally outside of the prison with swords, SWORDS!, and demanding her execution. I hope she remains safe and is then safely returned to the UK. HOWEVER, just imagine this situation for a second. An angry mob breaks into the jail, takes her out and executes her (it has happened before in numerous other countries). Now we have a murdered UK citizen in the Sudan who was in the custody of the gov't. Some shit would go down, I have no idea what, but something crazy.

Man Slipped Girlfriend Abortion Pills; Causes Two miscarriages:
A married Wisconsin man has been convicted for giving abortion pills to his mistress without her knowing. The pills caused two of her pregnancies to miscarry. He already has a 3-year old with the mistress. She had become suspicious, and after the second miscarriage she had her blood tested, and the chemicals from the pills were found. She immediately contacted the authorities.
The lesson for men in this situation is threefold. 1) Do not cheat on your wife. 2) If you do, always wear a condom. 3) Drugging your girlfriend with abortion pills is not a viable option.

This next one really pisses me off.
Woman Loses 140 lbs.:
A Massachussetts woman lost 140 pounds after having weight loss surgery. What pisses me off, is that this is listed as one of those inspirational stories, like "I finally turned my life around, and had surgery to fix my problems". I am not saying the procedure is wrong, good for her she can now ride a horse (it was from the article), but this story should not be paraded around as an inspirational success story. Also, the surgery she had was basically they put a band over the top of your stomach, to limit the amount of food that can be stored there. Then there is a pouch that collects extra food and you can empty it..some gross stuff. But my thing is, its been a year and she went from 280 to 140. So now that shes 140, she still has the band in place. Does it just stay in there? won't she keep losing weight?

Evil Teenage Mastermind Arrested:
An 18 year old New Zealander has been arrested as the "gang leader" of a group of hackers who created a virus that takes control of other computers, which then in turn unbeknownst to the owners, commit cyber crimes....dun dun dunnnnn. Why is it that all the big hackers in the world are always teenagers? Its never a 50 year old that has spent his entire life coming up with the worlds most evil virus, its always a 16-18 year old nerd who just gets the better of the world's governments. I mean I saw the movie with Matthew Broderick, which name escapes me at the moment (I know I know), so case in point.

Follow this link for some disturbing information regarding a nuclear black market. It will help you sleep well at night. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22022256/

And now for the fun stuff.
First off is the Story of the Day:
The story of the day is that a cell phone company in England has developed a toilet tracking system. This way whenever someone really needs to go to the loo, all they need to do is check their phone to find the closest pee spot. Brilliant! (in the voice of the guiness guys, not the annoying woman anchor on ESPN) http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/11/29/sat.lav.ap/index.html

The Caper of the day goes to an unknown thief in Ireland, who stole a trailor from the Guiness factory. Included in this trailor were 180 kegs of Guiness, 180 Kegs of Budweiser, and 90 barrels of Carlesberg. I want to become friends with this guy, and just party for one year. He is set for life.

Italian woman stupid:
That was my own headline. Perhaps shes not stupid, but just very oddly snobbish or spoiled? An Italian woman was kicked off of her flight from Milan to Rome becuase she refused to move her 1-meter long stuffed crocodile doll. WTF? I dunno but that's just silly (you think I could make that my catchphrase? or has someone else copyrighted it? maybe I could just get a reality TV show and say it alot in order to try and claim it like my own, like "thats hot").

Speaking of Paris
Paris Hilton wants a baby, for rediculuos reasons: Alternatively this could read "Paris Hilton thinks babies are toys":
Paris Hilton has stated recently that she wants a baby so that it can play with her less attractive friend Nicole Ritchie's baby. Atleast she truthfully gave the reason why. I mean clearly she sees babies as toys, but then again if she did have one, its not like she would have to lift a finger or raise it or anything. She also stated that while she does not have a boyfriend or found Mr. right, she is still open to starting a family now. Sign me up, I'd be more set than K-fed.

Moving on to his ex sugarmama
Investigators find poopy couches and a secret sex room:
OK, I take back any defense I made for Britney last week. Please read this article, PLEASE!
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22013594/

Conan O'brien is the shiz:
Conan has stated that he will pay the entire non-striking staff's salaries of his late night show for the next week. The studio is laying all the rest of the staff off for atleast the remainder of the strike, but Conan is gonna pay his guys out of pocket for a week. Bravo

Couple offering $10,000 for missing parrot:
This parrot has brooklyn accent. So if you run into a parrot with a Brooklyn accent in NY city, you have just won 10k. get huntin.

And lastly,
Brooke Shields is going to be in a new show, I hope its a comedy, called "Lipstick Jungle"
I want to be paid to watch that show and review it. That is all.

Happy birthday to moo cow.

Looking forward to KC this week, houns brining the bottle.

keepin it real from the loop.

Wacky Wednesday Part Duex ( I couldn't think of anything today)

Welcome, Welcome to the afternoon delight!

There is a lot of news today so lets get down to it. No more beating around the bush, just a straightforward approach to today's stories. I am not going to wait any longer before giving you the news. No sir, not me, I will not procrastinate another second, knowing the frustration caused by people who ramble on too long without getting to the point. Well I always get straight to the point without any dillydallying. No, I will will not dillydally, fiddle-faddle, or any other silly words, I will get right to it! And here it is:

Make sure to check out my op-ed in the sports section below. It could very well change the dynamic of your Sunday.

First off some politikin'
Democratic race now between Bill Clinton and Oprah:
That's right. Personally I'd go for Bill, but that's just because he is just so gosh darn charming. I mean c' mon anyone of you ladies out there would rip your clothes off in a second if he asked you to the correct way.
Anyways Bill has come out and started spewing support for Hilary, while the big "O" is going to throw her support behind the little "O" possibly creating an "O Voltron". Many people who have been polled about these two supporters confess that they are swayed by the supporting cast. Those polled have said that they trust Bill due to his experience, but not so much Hilary, while others still will support O'Bamma (haha extra "m") because Oprah told them to. And we all know that Oprah currently controls an army of non-thinkers who will do whatever she says.

Nazi Archives now open to public:
That's pretty much it. This is just really important so I included it. I just have nothing to say on the matter.

Two FL police officers killed in high speed chase:
This is a little misleading because the cops were killed in the chase, but they themselves were not chasing. What happened was that 25 police units were chasing a stolen car. So first off, is 25 units really neccessary? Is it that easy to draw half the police force away with one car? Also, the two officers placed spikes down on the road in order to stop the stolen vehicle. When the vehicle did not come, they began removing the spikes when another police cruiser swerved trying to avoid the spikes on the ground, and slammed into the officers removing the spikes. One of the officers was engaged and getting married soon, the other was going to be his best man.
I feel that the cop driving the car is mostly at fault here. From what I have read, if there were that many units after these two guys in one car, one less unit wouldn't be catastrophic, so where does it seem like a good idea to swerve away from the spikes and into a crowd? dude, sacrifice the car's tires and go into the spikes, if thats what it takes to avoid hitting people, let alone other officers.

Missing Pregnant Woman:
An Oklahoma woman has gone missing yesterday. The woman was reportedly meeting a man in a park, in order to inquire as to whether or not he was the father of the child she was carrying. Neither have been seen since. My money is on her being abducted by him.

Man kills family:
24 year old Lamar Platt confessed to NY police that he shot and killed his mother and brother, and then chopped up their bodies and threw them into the river. I am not sure what drives a man to kill his family, but I feel that its a different situation then regular murders. Both are wrong, but someone who kills random people on the street has some very different stuf fon his mind that a guy who kills and chops up his family. I can only wonder as to what he was so enraged about. Do you send someone like that to jail? or straight to a psycho ward?

Brooke Astor's 112 year old son charged with "pilfering" her estate:
Well technically he is 83 but still its funny. The late 105 year old philanthropist's son has been accused of mistreating his mother in her last years and embezzeling money for himself. He probably should have thought of stealing this money when he could still walk. I know money is useful, but I would rather have 100's of millions of dollars in my 40's than in my 80's.

Update: I was watching "Sgt. Bilko" during my lunch break today and the late great Phil Hartman uses the phrase "by gum". I would like here and now to challenge all of you to use this phrase in your daily lives. I am going to do the same, and by gum I mean it.

In local idiot news
Man tries to open account with $1,000,000 bill:
I don't know what else goes along with this story, other than the fact that this man is stupid. He did attempt to create the bill and it looks ok, but if you were going to put that much effort into counterfeiting wouldn't you also know that they have never made a $1,000,000 bill? and this creative man wins today's idiot award.

Wife wants Fosset declared dead:
The wife of millionaire adventurer Steve Fosset wants her husband declared legally dead. Fosset disappeared while flying a private plane to California in September. Neither he nor the plane has been found. His wife wants him declared dead, personally if my spouse went missing I would want to keep searching until something was found, and I certainly would wait longer than 2 1/2 months. But then again, I do not stand to inherit millions of dollars. Shady shady business if you ask me.

This is by far the coolest video you will see today
6 year old boy plays with 20 ft. Python:
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/offbeat/2007/11/28/vo.boy.cambodia.snake.ap

In another awesome video, check out the exosuits.
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/tech/2007/11/27/yeates.ut.robo.soldier.ksl

I have not been following the O.J. case this time around, but annoyingly it is still in the daily news. Booooo.

Roethlisberger arrested:
But not the fun one. A man as far as I know NOT related to Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger (but how common could that name really be? I mean c'mon) has been arrested for displaying banners deemed "too graphic", depicting photos of aborted fetuses. He was hanging out by the mall. What if he was just doing his christmas shopping?

Cell phones kill!!
A South Korean man was found dead yesterday. The cause is assumed to be his cell phone. He was found with his cell phone in his shirt pocket. The battery of the phone had exploded. This was bound to happen. Look out for killer cellphones, thats all I gotta say.

The word of the day comes from none other than Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad..adad. In an address to following an Iranian securty meeting, the president declared that Israel is doomed to collapse and referring to the Annapolis conference said "Soon, even the most politically doltish individuals will understand that this conference was a failure from the beginning"
So if you could not find it, today's word is doltish. Try that one on for size.

A British woman mauled to death in Bulgaria:
A woman walking her dog was attacked by a pack of wild dogs who gnawed her legs to the bone. Apparently roving packs of wild dogs is a problem that plagues the Bulgarian countryside. She was living in Bulgaria with her partner, but no other reasons have yet been released. The lesson learned is don't move FROM England TO Bulgaria. That is reverse immigration.

I was gonna go into deatil about how China is starting WWIII, but I don't feel like it anymore. Basically China would not let the U.S.S. Kitty Hawk go to port in Hong Kong after originally granting them permission. This was for Thanksgiving, and many of the crews family members had flown into Hong Kong from Japan in order to see the sailors. China has not given any reasoning yet as to why they would not allow entry.

Marie Osmond:
Marie Osmond is the perfect example along with Flava Flaaaaaav! as to why reality television shows (I am counting "dancing with the stars" as reality) can revitalize a person's career. Who the fuck cared about Marie Osmond before this show, and to be honest, who will care for her now? I applaud her for milking her exposure on this show for as much as it was worth. Bravo.

Dustin Hoffman’s New Year’s resolution is all picked out. “I do have to stop picking my nose, especially in the car,” the “Mr. Magorium” star confessed. “I'll be driving and I will catch someone trying to take my picture" (I stole that from MSNBC but I thought it was funny, but boo to the crappy "picked out" line)

Madonna abuses animals:
That would be a catchy headline. The pop madame has been chided by animal rights groups for dyeing sheep different colors for her most recent video. While her methods were animal safe, others make attempt to copy her idea in less safe measures.

Sports:
I would like to discuss for a moment, the recent slide the sports show "The Throwdown" has been experiencing. This slide is not necessarily in listeners, and much as the quality of the show. I feel that it is a quality program but the past two weeks are working against it. Two weeks ago the show was just cancelled, and this past week one of the two hosts forgot the "shows before hos" mantra and did not appear on the show. This required a "troopers effort" from the other host to keep it alive, but who wants to listen to one guy talk? I hope that this coming week will really revitalize the show, as well as not have any off-color remarks about #21's recent tragedy.

Dangerous Dave officially sucks at SoC

Keepin it real from the loop.

A sad day

Welcome to the Afternoon update sad day edition

Sean "The Punisher" Taylor died this morning:
Sean Taylor is widely known as the hardest hitter in the NFL. Many team were afraid to throw it in his direction because they knew the receivers would get hurt. Early Monday Morning a man broke into his house and shot him in the leg. The bullet severed the Femeral Artery and Taylor had lost too much blood. He died last night. Taylor was also an acclaimed actor appearing in numerous Eastern Motors commercials and always reminding us that "our job is our credit". He will be sorely missed by all.

For a bit of light news....
A quick pronto shout out for giving me this next story

18 year old girl break up with Palestinian boyfriend on "Dr. Phil":
Yep. Apparently they met online in '05 and the girl even tried to go visit him in his West Bank town. I would like to point out that this girl is from Michigan (just another example). The girl dissapeared from her mother's home last year and tried to fly to Israel, however she was stopped in Jordan and handed over to U.S. authorities who returned her to the states. The girl went on the Dr. Phil show and broke up with her cyber boyfriend over a video link. She said he was verbally abusive and controlling. He denied these claims, threw his mike down, and walked away.
My thing is what the hell were they going to do once she got there? I mean, a blonde 17-18 year old girl just hanging around in the West Bank for a few days? are you kidding me? I think this could have become a much more interesting story if she had not been stopped in Jordan. Once again this shows why Dr. Phil is stupid, and that mustaches are out.

Panda watch!
The panda cub at the Whales Vagina Zoo (thats san diego for those of you who are not cultured) has been named zhen zhen which means precious. I wonder who gets to name these things? Giant pandas are fun, cuddly, and playful to look at, but if you get close to one they will rip your head off.

Iceland best place in world to live:
That is until all the people who saw this list move there and ruin it. In a study done by the U.N. Iceland has overtaken Norway as the best place to live. The study also shows that the 22 worst countries to live in are ALL in sub-saharan Africa with Sierra Leone being the worst. Hmmm I would have never guess that at all.............Do you think they should just not publish the bottom of the list? and just put up like the top 50, that way nobody's feelings are hurt.

Killer on the loose:
A man serving a life sentence since 1988 has escaped and been on the lam for 2 days now. He escaped by hiding in a garbage can and then being wheeled out by another inmate. Don't worry folks this was only a medium security prison, he's not a mass murderer or anything. I wonder how easy it must be to escape a minimum security prison? must be a friggin walk in the park if you can get out in a garbage can.

And now for why the French are stupidheads.
2 days of intense rioting leaves dozens of police officers injured:
First off, why are the cops the only ones getting hurt? I mean c'mon, send in the College Park police with some pepper spray super soakers and their riot tank and they would quell this little "riot" in 20 minutes. The riots began over the death of two youuuuuuths (a little joe pesci reference) who crashed their motor bike into a cop car. They crashed into the cop, not the other way around. Anyways, the rioters are insisting that the cops fled the scene, while other witnesses claim the cops raced over an tried to resucitate the victims via mouth-to-mouth. The boys were of African descent.
So here it is, the rioters, (also of african and north-african heritage) are rioting over the fact that 2 of their youths travelling at unsafe high speeds on a non-registered motor-bike, ran through a red light, and then crashed into a cop car and died in the crash. What exactly is the issue here? I don't think this has anything to do with the riots, I think these people (the french) just wanted a good riot, or maybe they are angry about being a minority in another country. I dunno, but this has a lot more to do with the growing minority population in Europe than it does with two kids doing something stupid, and the cops are not in any way at fault, except for the fact that they are French.

I don't get this one
Man in bank wants to go to India:
An Indian man walked into a bank in Orlando today and demanded a ticket to India. From what I have read, he did not brandish any weapons and was not commiting a robbery. The police were called and the man sat in a chair and refused to leave. Here is the good part, after a "two hour standoff", the man was taken into custody. TWO HOURS!?!?! the guy was sitting in a chair, 2 bouncers at a bar could have gotten this resolved faster. Now I know it is possible he could have been strapped with a bomb, blah blah blah, but isnt there a security guard? couldt he have escorted the man out? all he wanted to do was go to India, so deport him.

In other sad news, the inventor of Gatorade has died today of kidney failure, he was 80.
Just a note, the moron who wrote this article forgot to mention the late Dr. Cade in the past tense by using such lines as "he still plays with the University of Florida Orchestra and in his church". This was in an article announcing the guy is dead. What a moron.

I wish I could make a living on reading the news and pointing out how stupid some people are.

Thats all for today,

Keepin it real from the loop