"I said what what in the butt"

I can't get that song out of my head. The South Park Butter's version of course.

Hilary Clinton is apparently a worse bowler than Barak Obama. Who cares? Obama bowled a 37 and Clinton bowled a 1 in frame on the Ellen Degeneres show. The question is, why the hell is this a headline on MULTIPLE major news websites?

A woman in Lansing, Michigan stole a boa constrictor yesterday from a pet store by sliding down her pants. Was she stealing a snake or having a good time? The woman was seen on camera doing the act, but it was only seen after she had left the store. Both are still missing.

A New Zealander is being charged with assault for throwing a hedgehog. The 27-year old man threw a hodgehog at a 15-year old boy, who was struck in the leg. I am sure it was painful.
That is something you would think to see in a cartoon, so I will give credit for creativity on this one.

By far the best story from yesterday was this gem.
A man in Athens, Georgia robbed a convenience store at gunpint. However in order to kill time while the store emptied out, he filled out a job application. Einstein put down his real name and phone number, but a fake address. He was subsequently caught.

Hamburger machine wins national collegiate Rube Goldberg competition.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23990754/
We had to make these in 5th grade. My buddy and I made on out of legos that made hot chocolate. Really all it did was in a complicated process drop a trap door with cocoa mix on it, into a cup of hot water.
No wonder we didn't win.

A newlywed couple Vallejo, CA spent their first night as man and wife in seperate man and woman cells. The couple was arrested after a wedding party at their house got out of control. The police arrived at the house for a 2nd time and the groom and his cousin became aggressive towards the police, who then tased both of them. The bride was then arrested for public intoxication.
I think arresting the bride is a little dick by the cops, but I guess they don't mess around in Vallejo.

A duck name Circles, who resides in Suffolk County, NY has been given an order of protection, after it was shot by its owner's neighbor with a pellet gun.

"Knut" the famous polar bear raised in the Berlin Zoo, is now 1 1/2 years old and being accused of senseless murder. There is a controversy over Knut's killing of 10 carp that were swimming in his moat. Knut is fed by the zoo and has never needed to fish for food. Critics say Berlin Zoo should not have put live fish inside Knut's enclosure. But German media report that the carp were put there to eat up algae. This quote says it all:
"The Frankfurter Allgemeine news website reports that Knut "senselessly murdered the carp", fishing them out, playing with them and then leaving the remains"
He's a bear! What is he supposed to do? And secondly, they are carp, I am pretty sure they are not covered in the geneva convention or any other sort of statute of law regarding rights. This is why you cannot take anything animals rights activists and hippies say seriously, because sometime they have good points, and sometimes they spew crap like "the senseless murder of carp". C'mon.

The O's are in first place after sweeping the Mariners. ALCS!!

That's all for today. Leave a post if you dare.

Keepin it real from the loop