Here's to you...

Today's blog is dedicated to most of the individuals I am going to write about. You''ll see. At the end i'll attempt to write one of those "Here's to you" Bud light ads. If you want you can write your own at home, or post it in the comments section.

First off, its official now. MI6 did not kill Princess Diana and Dodi Al Fayed. Besides, that seems very un-Bondlike. I can't see Sean Connery doing that, Roger Moore maybe but still.

A California man has pleaded guilty to making graphic and detailed death threats against the band Korn. Now I enjoyed "Freak on a Leash" as much as the next guy, especially the "Daboomba daboomba babeebop" part, that was bas ass. But of all the celebrities or musicians to target with death threats and even try and kill, Korn? why not choose a target with more worth or substance? I'm just saying there are plenty of better stalking targets than Korn.

A teenager in Missouri has been arrested for hiring hit men to kill his parents. Authorities were tipped off by a prison inmate who was asked to help him. The teen did get in contact with some killers and provided them with $260 in cash, a debit card with the PIN number, two .22-caliber pistols, a .38-caliber pistol and the alarm code to the parents' house. $260? I bet the debit card didnt have much on it either. I thought contract killings went for like $10,000 or so. $260? Seriously?

An article on MSNBC is calling a couple who ripped off a girl scout troop "con artists" for passing off a fake $100 bill to 12 year olds and then getting $93.50 and some cookies in change. I mean yea they are scuzzy people, but con-artists? I think that is a bit much to qualify them. When I think of con-artists I think of golddiggers and gigalows or criminal masterminds, not a cheapo man and woman who like to steal from little girls.
If I give an 8-year old $5 in monopoloy money for his lollipop, am I now a con-artist? NOO. I am a schmuck.
On the bright side, someone donated $100 to the troop in order to make up for the lost moolah.

A Firefighter in South Carolina was saved by a DVD in his pocket when he was shot in the chest during an altercation at a Waffle House.
Lesson: Watch movies and avoid Waffle Houses. They are tougher than biker bars.

A Utah Girl has won the "best bagger in America" award and taken home 2 trophies and $2,000. The money part is pretty cool, but now you are labeled as the nations best grocery bagger. Do you display those trophies proudly? I mean, good for you but...its grocery bagging. Now that you know you are the best, you should probably move up the career ladder a bit. Atleast the girl is only 18 and not 45.

Couples in Columbus, Ohio were married in a White Castle. The weddings were sponsored by a local radio station. In classic fashion ,the flower girl threw salt and pepper packets instead of rice.
Is there anything that needs to be said? O yea, the cake was in the shape of a White Castle tray with 3 sliders on it. I am assuming these people each weighed 300 lbs.


So here's to you Mr. and Mrs. "con-artist" who loves to steal from little girls. You could've just tried passing your fake money on a dumb 21 year old working at Mcdonalds but you just had to go for the gold by getting girl scout cookies too. "Thin mints are delicious" (in the high pitched voice). So the next time you have that craving for a samoa or a do-si-dos just grab your favorite fake $100 bill and go rip off the first green berete'd, badge wearing, pig-tailed youths you see.
Mr. and Mrs. con-aaaaartists.

Ok so Im not the guy who writes those commercials for a reason. Sue me.

That is all for today, leave a post if you dare.

Keepin it real from the loop.