If you are buying Godiva Chocolates soon, I call dibs on your winnings.

A couple of things for you guys today. By the way great turnout yesterday. I pretty sure my readership doubled! (It is still in single digits). Nothing like the hey day, but its a good start.

So first off, I will give you the quote of the day. This is from an article about medical marijuana vending machines in California. A guy was quoted in the end of the article as saying it was a safer way to keep drugs out of kids hands.

"You have kids that want to get high and that's not what marijuana is for," Robert Miko said. "It's to medicate."

Hahahahahhaha. That is the purest bullshit in the entire world. 100% grade A, FDA approved, through a clinical double-blind study (lypozene shout out here) pure bullshit. I guess Mr. Robert Miko should also be getting the hypocrite of the day award too.

And now for the D-bag of the century award.
This is an old story but the big news today is that this man has dropped his law suit. What about you might ask? well...

Tomas Delgado, a Spanish businessman was speeding along a 55 mph road in 2004 in his luxury Audi when he struck then 17-year old Enaitz Iriondo Trinidad, dragging the boy along the highway and killing him. While reports vary of the drivers speeds, a judge threw out a criminal suit against Senor Delgado. But wait there's more.
Tomas Delgado then filed suit against the parents of Enaitz claiming damages to his car as well as for the cost of rentals while his Audi was in the shop.

REALLY? How spineless do you have to be? You kill a family's kid and then sue them for damages to your luxury vehicle? WHAT A D-BAG.

I play in a 3-on-3 basketball league once a week and it is held in a local community center. Of course with the words "community center" comes the automatic naked old men walking around the locker room ( I have no reference for the ladies side, feel free to chime in). However last week I was changing and an old man was walking around for a while naked chatting with his buddies and then decides to get dressed.
Now the logical course of action for people under 80 atleast is to put on your underpants first and cover up your twig and berries (crude I know), HOWEVER this gentleman puts on his t-shirt and then starts walking around more! How does that makes sense? and it was even wierder because he is half dressed but the wrong half!!
I think there should be a locker room policy that shirts and socks etc. come AFTER undies (unless you are going commando, in which case pants/shorts first).

And finally, as per the title of today's entry:
Godiva Chocolates are giving away one night in a chocolate apartment, a luxury apartment at that. The "golden ticket" will be hidden in one box of chocolates that is being sold in North America. I think I would like to stay in a chocolate apartment for a night, so I call dibs if anyone here wins. At the very least if you win, bring me home like a candlestick or part of the table or something. Much Obliged.
For a photo of the part of the apt. go to: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22903236/

Thats all for now, leave a post if you dare.

Keepin it real from the loop.

Women!

So its about 10:20 and I am perusing the web for the latest rumors about the Erik Bedard trade, when I decide to see what is happening in the world at large. I go to cnn.com ( I know it is a rediculously silly site, but it still has news), and I read the political ticker which usually has great blog-worthy fodder.

It did not dissapoint.

The main headline read:
"Women's Group Slams Kennedy for Betrayal"
If you are a complete ignoramus, and I don't believe that the three of you who read this are, you will know I am not talking about JFK. The NY chapter of NOW (National Organization for Women) is bashing Kennedy for endorsing Obama yesterday. They said:
"Sen. Kennedy’s endorsement of Hillary Clinton’s opponent in the Democratic presidential primary campaign has really hit women hard," said the statement. "Women have forgiven Kennedy, stuck up for him, stood by him, hushed the fact that he was late in his support of Title IX, the ERA, the Family Leave and Medical Act to name a few."

Where in the hell do they get off? I am not saying one way or another whether Kennedy's endorsement was right or wrong, it was an endorsement. Did he pledge to only support Hilary or no one and then turn his back? NO!
These crazy feminists ( I mean that in an identifying but not offensively negative way) are mad at him because Hilary is losing. According to their logic, becasue womens groups have been so understanding regarding his political past, he has an 0bligation to endorse Hilary? Is that some sort of unspoken pact? WTF!?!
NOW then goes on to state that Kennedy has no respect for womens rights.

So let me ask you this. Does this mean from now on, any major political figure, union, or interest group that supports Obama, or even Edwards, instead of Hilary does not respect women or their rights? It automatically means that their reasoning is strictly because they do not want a woman in the White House?
Does the same hold true for Obama? I guess anyone who endorses Hilary just hates black people and doesn't respect their rights. Apparently people only support Hilary because they never want to see a black man in the White House.

This is politics at it's pettiest and I think it stinks, just plain old stinks.
On a side note, this is partly why I don't want Hilary in the White House, because I don't want these crazy bitches to have any influence over her.
(yes I know that last sentence completely de-legitimizes my whole "article")

Also, whats is going on with Bill Clinton in the past week? but that is for you to decide. Leave a post if you dare.

Lypozene

I was just watching a commercial for Lipozene. Thats the "clinically proven", non-FDA approved fat zapping pill. What I have a problem with is that they start off the commercial saying "body-fat is unattractive" I for one think that it is wrong for them to just make a blanket statement like that. I for one find it offensive. Who are they to say what is attractive and what not?

I say fat people everywhere should sue their asses for defamation. That is all.

Keepin it real from the loop.

Britney Spears is a Fucking Loon

There, I've finally come out and said it. She is totally off her rocker. For a while I thought maybe she was just being misunderstood, and she was mixed in with the wrong crowd and substances,(Although I was never planning on making a youtube video crying, did you know that guy got his own reality TV show for being a sissy nutcase?) blah blah blah...but now she is just straight up-word to your mother-insane!

I've got a few stories for all you loyal readers out there. It warmed my heart that there were actually comments on the last, albeit concise, posting.

First lets do some politics, since that is what the kids are talking about these days.

Huckabee is Courting the pre-teen vote:
I know this joke has been made already. Chuck Norris is one thing, but WWE star Ric Flair? I mean if 15 year olds could vote, yea Huckabee would be a shoo in for president. Maybe he is trying to get some of the WWE college vote? Does that exist?

Plastic Dead Babies:
As crude as this may sound, can a "plastic dead baby" exist? or is it just simply a plastic baby?
An anti-abortion group in Wisconsin sent out 2''inch plastic babies to resident all over the area. Many people said that literature is one thing, but this is simply over the line. The group said it was meant to be educational. I say it is scare tactics. This is terrorism plain and simple. or is it?

"Get These Motha Fuckin Snakes Off of My Motha Fucking Plane":
A one ton crate containing thousands of the nonvenomous rat snakes was seized on a plane preparing to leave Vietnam. The snakes had been smuggled in from Thailand. Authorities believe that they were meant to be sold in other countries. Woah, I woulda been freaked out if they got loose on my plane. I'd go Samuel L. on their asses. Royale with cheese style.

Bobby Fischer died. He was a chess champion, an anti-semite, an anti-American, and a complete loon. I do not see a reason to mourn his death. For a little justification his mother was Jewish and in the past decade whenever he did his radio interviews in the Phillipines, he would go into these crazy anti-Jewish rants. He also denounced his U.S. citizenship and he praised the 9-11 attacks. Good riddance. Its shame that he was an icon during the Cold War because he played chess. It aint all that its cracked up to be.
I would pick the 1980 Olympic Hockey Gold medal win against the Soviets any day over his playing chess.

Burglar Plays the Good Samaritan:
A burglar who broke into an apartment in Berlin found the owner of the place dead in his bedroom. The man felt obligated to call the police, and then left the scene of the crime. Authorities have said that the man has been dead for over two weeks. Reports are that the man left the "flat" empty handed, but police officials have no way to confirm that. I'd say he's entitled to a little sumptin-sumptin.

And finally a man in Hawaii has been arrested for throwing a baby off of a free way bridge into traffic. The baby was hit by atleast two cars. Investigators are looking into whether the baby was dead before it was thrown.
And this the reason I have stopeed writing about the news.

Keepin in real from the Loop.

Oh Hi There!

Friends, I apologize for the long absence. I have been getting very depressed by the news in recent weeks so I have decided to take a break.

However I did see two stories today that I wanted to share with you. Firstly

Brad Renfro Found Dead:
Yea, he's the guy from "The Client" and "Sleepers". He was found dead early this morning. The cause of death has not been announced, my money is on an overdose. Renfro is mostly famous for trying to buy heroine off an undercover cop in 2006.

And also in New Zealand, a man has been charged for drunk driving whilei driving his tractor. The tractor, which hits top speed at 5 mph, has been impounded.

The Maurading Monkey's are Back!!

No Joke. More on that later.

Welcome to Friday's edition of the Afternoon Update. I have very little confidence that anyone actually reads this anymore, if they ever did, but what the heck-let's give it a shot.

Obama and Huckabee Kick Ass:

If you are spending the time to read my blog, then you most likely have already read the news. Barak Obama and Mike Huckabee won the Iowa primaries for their respective parties. Kudos to them. There is plenty of information on these stories, so I will not cover it.


This is easily the story of the day, and it goes out to my man Rubes.
Man Charged Extra; Banned from Buffet:
A man and his cousin were charged a double fee from an asian buffet, and were later banned from the establishment. The restaurant at first claimed this was due to their constant eating of all the higher priced sea food items such as crab legs and the ever delicious frog legs (this was in Louisianna). The man also claimed that the waitress said to him when receiving the bill "She says, 'Y'all fat, and y'all eat too much". When the man argued the bill, the police were called and the owners banned him from the restaurant.
I think this is silly, because if you are going to run a buffet, you should expect fat people to come in 3-5 times a week and eat all your food. Who do you think buffets are for? And if an item is too pricey, then don't put it out as an option. I am siding with the customer's on this.

Man Injures Himself While Riding Pet Buffalo:
The story here is that he has a pet buffalo. O yea, and the guy is 75.

Priest Brawl '08:
In an awesome display of religious tolerance, 50 Greek Orthodox priests and 30 Armenian priests scuffled in a royal rumble while cleaning up the Church of the Nativity.
How many people would honestly pay to see that happen? I know I would. 80 priests just swining fists and brooms at one another? I mean c'mon, not even monty python ever did that.

Man violates Own Smoking Ban:
The Head of Portugal's Food Standards Agency, the agency charged with upholding Portugal's new smoking ban, was seen smoking a cigar on New Year's eve thereby breaking the law in the first day of its effect. The man said he did not know about the law and will now look into what it entails.
Nice.

Killer Monkey's to be Sterilized:
As I stated earlier, the crazed monkeys of India are back in the news! Only this time its not such great news for them. North Indian state officials unveiled plans to train unemployed youths to sterilize thousands of the wild monkeys with lasers. This is meant to hopefully curb the number of monkey attacks around the cities.
I am not sure how I feel about this. Would you really want hundreds of young men running around with "lasers"?

Waitress Receives $50,000 Tip:
Well it wasn't really a tip, but she did receive a lot of money and a car. The women who received these goods was the waitress for an ill-tempered old man who died recently. The waitress was always polite to him and took his requests despite him being a cranky old geezer. The man left his car and $50,000 to the woman. Presumably for her kindness.

This is a pretty crazy story, and its really long so I will just provide you with the link.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22499062/

Mother lies for Hannah Montana Tickets:
A mother who wrote he daughter's "Hanna Montana" contest essay has publicly apologized. The essay, which described how the girl's father had died in Iraq and blah blah blah, won the contest. After further investigation, officials discovered that the story was a complete fabrication. The mother is concerned now because she is taking a lot of heat for this rediculous story. She is claiming to be the victim and had to move away from their home due to hate mail and the like surrounding her story.
To be honest, what kind of person would make up a story like that? and for Hannah Montana tickets? What about all those people who's parents actually did die in the war? Boo this woman for trying to turn it around so that she is the victim.
On a side note, I have apparently underestimated the drawing power of Hannah Montana.

and finally,

Dane Cook Breaks Laugh Factory Record:
Dane Cook has broken Dave Chappelle's stand up comedy record by performing for seven straight hours at the Laugh Factory. I'm sure Chappelle will take it back.

Keepin it real from the Loop.

ouch

This guy got cut in half by a grabage truck.
http://www.local10.com/news/14969398/detail.html

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaaaaack!

Hello! Welcome to the Afternoon Update!
I am using a lot of exclamation points!!

I apologize for the long absence, vacation and all. And yes, I missed you too.
OK. Enough dilly-dallying, lets get down to blogging.

POLITICS!!
Chuck Norris Will Kick Mitt Romney's ASS!!!
That is not entirely accurate. Mr. Texas Ranger acutally said he would not roundhouse Mitt Romney, but that he only would choke him out. Walker then said he abhorrs negative campaigning, and that it was just in good fun.
On a side note, does anyone want a president with the name "Mitt"?

Man Murders Family:
An Indian man murdered his pregnant daughter, her husband, and their 3-year old child by setting their apartment on fire while they slept. The man said the reasoning was that the man had not asked his permission to marry his daughter, and that it was an unacceptable marriage since his son-on-law was of a lower caste.
It is interesting to see cases in which culture rules play a part in crime here.
Also, isn't it wierd that he waited 3-4 years to kill them? rather than stop the marriage when it was happening.

Family Spends New Years In Jail:
A Florida family spent the New Years holiday behind bars after one member of the family was arrested for trespassing at a neighborhood mall. The man had previously been banned from the mall for wearing his pants too low. The family became involved once he was arrested.
This is stupid.


Man Gives 10-Year Old Daughter Porn for Christmas:
Sort of. A man bought a used MP3 player from Wal-Mart that the previous owner had preloaded withpornography. The girl started crying 10 minutes after her father had given her the present. I am sure that could be very scary for a 10-year old. Wal-Mart shrewdly boffered to replace the player with another one, but the man is holding onto it until after meeting with lawyers. Smart man.

Man Jumps off Bridge with Police Dog:
A high speed chase ended in California with the suspect getting out of his car, grabbing a K-9 unit dog, and jumping off a bridge. The dog did not survive the fall, however the man did and is in critical condition. I do believe that killing a police dog is close to if not the same as killing an officer, so this guy is in real trouble if he survives.

Poor Man Returns $185,000 Check; Gets Jack-Shit:
A 47-year old Mcdonald's worker he lives off of food stamps found a $185,000 check on the ground. The man never thought about trying to cash it, but rather found where it was supposed to go, hopped on a bus, and returned it to the correct individual. The recipient was a landlord's daughter, who was so grateful for the man's efforts, she gave him $50.
I'm sorry, are you kidding me? The guys brings you a check for $185,000 and all you can splurge in reward money is 50 bucks!?! Please.

That's all for today.
Im gonna try out this new short format. Any feedback will be great.

Go Skins!!

Keepin it real from the Loop.