Thank God for Al Gore

Welcome one and all to the Afternoon Update. Please enjoy today's listing, which I have tried to make as little sad as possible.

So first I have to give you a follow up rant/question to some of my previous blogging rants. As I have repeatedly mentioned, there are 2 guys on my floor who literally live in the bathroom. They are always in there brushing their teeth, flossing, taking naps, etc. Now I will pose a moral/ethical question. I have noticed (since they are ALWAYS in there) that one of them, the grosser of the two, has been conducting his business in the Handicap stall even though the other one is open. Now this would raise the normal questions about whether one should take a handicap spot/stall, even if no one else would use it, BUT on my floor there is a co-worker of mine who is disabled and uses a wheelchair. Therefore there actually a person who needs to use this stall daily. This should obviously be taken into consideration by the other guys. What if he comes in and needs to go the bathroom? He now has to wait for the gross guy to finish. Should this individual be chastised for his actions? (theoretically, I wan't nothing to do with him actually). Is it un-ethical what he is doing?
You decide! Post your answers in the comment section.

Now for the news.

The story of the day was an easy one for me, because it shows how Canadians are silly.
Pig Farmer Convicted of 6 Murders; More to Follow:
A pig farmer has been convicted of 6 murders and is expected to go on trial for atleast 20 other killings in Canada yesterday. My thing is that if anybody had seen the movie "Snatch"they would know to never trust a pig farmer. This man could have been caught a lot earlier.

President Huckabee:
I know is sounds silly and it could still be a longshot blah blah blah, BUT he looks more like a plausible candidate now. How silly would it be to announce President Huckabee to the world. It just doesn't roll off the tongue as easily as say...Van Buren or Fillmore.

Kosovo-Serbia Headed for War:
The "Troika" of the U.S., Russia, and the EU has announced today that after 2 years of negotiations and exhausting every possible angle, Serbia and the Albanian majority in Kosov have not even come close to reaching an agreement. Kosovo wants their independence and has announced they will do whatever is necessary. This is definitly going to be a war. On an interesting side note, The Albanian majority in Kosovo is mostly Muslim. This is interesting because they wave American flags during their protests and marches for independence. Now I am not trying to assume that normally Muslims do not support the U.S., but most places in the world with a Muslim majority population would not be doing that.

Granny Caught With Loaded Hand-gun, at Disney:
A 63-year old grandmother was arrested in FL yesterday after security at Disney World found a loaded handgun in her purse during a routine security check. She was accompanying her daughter and grandchildren. Security also found a knife and a pair of scissors. The woman claimed that she forgot the gun was in her purse and it was just a mistake. She was quoted as saying "I forget a lot of things. That might sound silly and stupid, but I did not remember that the pistol was down there..." Now there are two ways one can look at this. First, if she was really so innocent, its kinda wierd that she would also have a knife and pair of scissors, I know it could be a coincidence, but its still strange. The better question is, if she really did just forget, and she "forgets things all the time" maybe she shouldn't be allowed to have the gun. Perhaps we should throw in loaded fire-arms in along with liscenses as things that should be taken away from old people.
Just a thought.

Santa Train Kills 2:
The "Santa Express" a train that takes kids from Detroit to somewhere else in Michigan to see santa each weekend, struck a car that drove into the train tracks in nowheresville Michigan. There are warning signs, however there is no warning lights and according to local sources, "an accident was bound to happen". So why didn't someone put up the lights you may ask? No comment. The driver and one of 2 passengers were killed on impact, and the third passenger is in critical condition. The ground shows skid marks atleast 25 yards before the tracks, which indicates the car was driving at a high speed before collision. Perhaps they were trying to race the train. None of the 30 children on board were injured.

Man Bear Pig is Real!!
I am super serial about this. Why won't anyone take me serial? Al Gore received his Nobel Peace Prize today for making the world aware of the existence of Manbearpig. Manbearpig is kinda like a man, but is more bearpiggish. Now that Messr. Gore has received his award he gave a warning to the U.S. and China to stop manbearpig before it ruins the world. He is our savior. Without him everything would be different. Thank God for Al Gore.

This website is pretty hilarious, its a video to test a new product developed by former pro baseball player. Shout out to Pronto for sending me this one. http://www.nuttybuddy.com/ , I think that is the correct address. Just click on the video.

Nun Has Dirty-Whorish-Smelly Pirate Hooker Mouth:
A Nun in Michigan (yes Mich. AGAIN) who is also the principle of a middle school gave her 5th-8th graders a list of swear words she would not tolerate. She did not however post the list, but read it out loud in an assembly in church. The list contained ALL the swear words she would not tolerate, including meekrob.

Mountain Lion Chills in Hot Tub:
A South Dakotan woman was relaxing in her hot tub when a moutain lion appeared out of the bushes, jumped on the side of her tub, chilled for a moment, and then took off. Really he was just a peeping tom. The lesson of this story is to not live in South Dakota.

Whooping Cough Comes Roaring Back:
That's right! after an almost 95 year hiatus, the whooping cough epidemic is having a comeback tour. Starting off at Bob Jones University in South Carolina, the whoops as we like to call it, is looking to spread across the country to your neighborhood. Now some of you may be thinking, wait! isn't this one of those diseases that people died from in the early 1900's and we have since cured? Well yes we have! That is how rediculous this is, yet it literally affected the whole university. For all you history buffs out there, this should take you back, you can even ask your grandfather or great-grandfather what is like the very first time they had the whoops.

CNN reported an article today that a local grocery story accidentally advertised hams as "Delicious for Chanukah." Now I would just like to take this minute to say, HA! We here at the Afternoon Update had that story last week. CNN is sooooooo behind the times.

I am too lazy to write about this story, but you should read it. It shows how stupid some policemen are. (sorry, police-people). http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22155954/

A German Interior Minister is trying to ban Scientology, because it is "unconstitutional".

In Entertainment news:

Daniel Baldwin continues to give the other hardworking and talented Baldwins such as Alec and Stephen a bad name. He failed to appear in court for a hearing after being arrested for cocaine and drug paraphanelia earlier in the year. Shame on you Daniel for besmirching their good name.

Sweden to Build ABBA Museum:
Not only that, but it will be 3 floors. Are hot 6''0 blondes, Ikea, and ABBA really all that Sweden has to offer? I mean ABBA was cool and all, but........

Paris Hilton:
Reportedly Paris punched her ex-boyfriends new lady in the face over the weekend. She has not been charged with anything, and there are those saying she never hit anyone.
I would love to see her throw a punch.

New pictures of Amy Winehouse appeared on various news sites today, and I maintain now more than ever that she is terrifying. She looks scary, like a messed up version of a Disney villain.

England lost badly to Sri-Lanka in Cricket, the Pats beat the crap out of the Steelers, and the Colts tore the Ravens a new one.

Listen to "The Throwdown" with Gordo and Steen every Sunday night for all of your sportstalk on blogtalk radio.

That's all for now, EXCELSIOR!!!!!!

Keepin it real from the loop.

O So Glorious Friday

Welcome to the Afternoon Update, your one stop blog with everything you need. Thereby really living up to its hyped up nickname "the afternoon delight".

Make sure this weekend to listen to "The Throwdown with Gordo and Steen" on blogtalk radio for all of your sports needs.

Its a short list today, but I have some things to say so it'll probably stay a lengthy blog this Friday. After confabulating with a friend of mine named pronto, I have a little rant for you guys later. (yes, that is the word of the day)

Adulterous Lover to Vote for Clinton:
The big news in the political world today is that former President Bill "the pimp" Clinton lover Gennifer Flowers has stated that she would want a woman in the White House, and is even mulling over voting for Hilary. Hilary has made mean remarks about Ms. Flowers in the early 90's.
What I love is that this woman is just grabbing the spotlight. These people are rediculous, the second they think they can get a day or two of press to indulge themselves in self-glorification, they grab it! What a shallow individual. What I am much more concerned about is who Monica is going to vote for.

UN Warns Serbia Against Renewed Violence:
The Serbian Government has hinted that violence could be used in Kosovo to stop their independence. Does this remind anybody else of the mid 90's?

Drunk State Trooper Arrested:
An off duty NC state trooper drove his car into a lake yesterday, after driving while intoxicated. The trooper's 2 children were in the car as well. The fun part about this story is that the intoxicated man of the law kicked the arresting officer in the shin. That really hurts. Also the NC State Police department came out with a statement saying they were "very disapointed". What is this? a state legal matter or a 3rd grade punishment?

Bush Gives Out Wrong Phone Number:
I know what you are thinking, we've all done that to the ugly guy/girl who won't leave you alone at the bar, but in this case its a little different. President Bush announced his new relief hotline for mortgages, but accidentally gave out 1-800-995-HOPE instead of the correct number 1-888-995-HOPE. Many people's calls were directed to the wrong place.

Syria Blocks Facebook:
Syria has blocked the internet friend maker Facebook due to fears of Israeli Spies. I never realized it was so easy to be a spy, I always assumed Mossad and other intelligience agencies were more complex. What kind of secrert government information is floating around Facebook?

Former Navy Chaplain Charged:
A former priest at the Naval Academy has been charged with sexual assault after pleading guilty to haveing sex with an Airforce officer as well as forcing himself upon a cadet and sodomizing him at the Academy. The kicker for this one is that the priest is HIV positive and did not tell either person. So far neither of the two people he had relations with have tested positive.

Fake Priest Runs Up Tab:
A man posing as a Roman Catholic Priest ran up a tab of $98 at a local convenience store, telling the clerks to put it on the churches tab. There is a church across the street which has an open tab there. The man was caught after he started buying things like energy drinks and cigarettes. BUSTED!

Gizmo's Corner:
Robots Play the Violin:
There is a lot to say here, so read the article. This is really cool stuff.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/12/06/toyota.robots.ap/index.html

Happy Birthday Matze and Charly:
The world's oldest Gorilla and Orangutan both celebrated their 50th birthdays this week.
Matze the gorilla has sired 17 children, while Charly comes out on top with 18. They are both great-grandfathers and are the patriarchs of the gorilla and orangutan communities worldwide.

Hershey Makes Cocaine Candy:
Hershey, which owns the Ice Breakers label has come out with a new dissolvable mint powder that is packaged in little blue bags. They look EXACTLY like what street cocaine in dimebags look like and police have said they are going to have massive problems telling the difference. There is also a concern that this will help drug dealers move their product since it can be so confusing. Some parents have expressed concerns that it will be hazardous to children since it would be hard for them to tell the difference if they saw a bag of either on the ground.
To be honest, if your kid is eating bags of powder off the ground, you've got other problems to worry about.

Rhino Poop For Sale:
The International Rhino foundation is auctioning 4 types of Rhino poo just in time for the holidays. The highest bid on ebay right now is $500 for one of the fecal pies. I guess the draw is that they are all endangered species. The 5th type of rhino is so rare they could not get a sample of its poop. I don't get that either, if one exists how hard is it to scoop up their poop?

Fortune Teller Arrested for Fraud:
A fortune teller in Cyprus has been arrested after convincing a man to give her roughly $13,000 to remove an evil spell placed on him and for continued magical protection. I don't get what the problem is. How are fortune tellers supposed to make a living if they cannot take poeple's money? isnt all fortune telling fraud? I bet I can go to a carnival, spend $5 and then sue them. Look out American seers, i'm coming for you.

I was gonna write a whole lot about the MySpace hoax that led to a girl hanging herself, because there was an interesting article on the aftermath in her community. But i'll just let you read it. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22134552/ . I bet some asshole is going to do something stupid and ruin more peoples lives.

A friend of mine, who is a female informed me this morning that at 4 AM she awoke from her slumber to go to the loo. Upon arrival in said toilet room, she found a large (from what I can tell from her) grasshopper-spider (the kind that jump) in the bathroom. Instead of just killing it, she attempted to cover it with a cup, but it knocked the cup over. After this her roomate awoke and they both became hysterical for a while before finally figuring out a way to capture it and throw it outside. So the riddle has been answered, how many young women does it take to get rid of a spider? 2, the answer is 2.
Now I know (some) women get scared by bugs and mice and the like, but theres got to be a point in ones life when one realizes that they are 1,000 times larger than the bug and could easily squish it. This is a much longer and hilarious story, however I felt it necessary to mention because it will keep me entertained for a while.

In sports, a fan ran onto the field during the Redskins-Bears game last night:
Bears DL Tommie Harris said he was bumped by the fan who ran onto the field. “I didn’t know whether to beat him up,” Harris said. That woulda been priceless.

KC's got some guests this week, PG's brinin the bottle.

Keepin it real from the loop.

And We're Back.....

Sorry about the absence of substance the past few days. I was really busy, then kinda busy, and then eventually just lazy. But now I have reinvigorated myself to write a super-duper-double-looper of a blog today. (For those of you who didn't get that reference, it is a roller-coaster at Hershey Park)

Lotta stuff today, sad, funny, idiotic, and everything that falls in-beteween.

To start us off, lets talk Presidential campaigns.
Hilary Campaign sends out Obama=Terrorist e-mails.
A party organizer for the Hilary Clinton campaign in Iowa has been fired after auto-sending out e-mails that suggest Obama is a muslim (nothing wrong with that) and that his bid for the white house is so he can destroy America and support international terrorism. Or it was something of that ilk anyways. The woman who stepped down said she doesn't see what the problem was, since she never claimed that those facts were true, she was merely informing people of some of the information that is out there.
This is a despicaple move by Clinton's campaign. I am not saying she had anything to do with it, but perhaps the campaign itself should be more careful of who they hire. I think the woman's claim is rediculous, she knew exactly what she was doing, and due to how dumb Americans are (I have more on that later) she knew it would be damaging. Also on a side note, I find it pretty wierd that I keep defending Obama on my blog, which is wierd since I do not usually support the Democratic party. I just think the Dems are making this whole race a lot more entertaining through their shenanigans.

Guilliani counters Huckabee:

There ya go, some Republican action. Former NY mayor Rudolphus guilianus held a campaign event with former Baltimore Orioles pitcher Curt Schilling. This is the next step in celebrity backing for the candidates, and it apparently really works. Huckabee has been endorsed by Chuck Norris for weeks now, and he has jumped substantially in the Iowa polls.

Fred Thompson is an anti-southerner:
or is he? Nine, I repeat nine protesters picketed outside a Thompson campaign event in Sotuh Carolina, touting confederate flags and posters that read "South Carolina hates Thompson". This was in response to the former governer's comments at a recent debate that read: ""as far as a public place is concerned, I am glad that people have made the decision not to display it as a prominent flag, symbolic of something, at a state capital." However, Thompson who is a southern boy himself did clarify and state "As a part of a group of flags or something of that nature, you know, honoring various service people at different times in different parts of the country, I think that's different."
Jim Hanks, chairman of the South Carolina League of the South, accused Thompson of "Masquerading as a good ole boy" and that he was not truly southern. I feel like he could do without the support of those 9 people and their kin.

The Killer Monkeys are Here!:
That's right, they have somehow come to the US from India and are now attacking US convenience store clerks. While that is a fabrication, it is true that a clerk was attacked by a customer's pet monkey after it bit her in the face. Watch the video, http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2007/12/05/faherty.clerk.attacked.by.monkey.wsoc

Nebraska Mall Shooting leaves 8 dead, others wounded:
A Nebraska mall was terrorized yesterday after 19 year old Robert Hawkins opened fire on a group of people with an AK-47, after which he turned the gun on himself. This story is being covered pretty heavily on all the major networks, and it is just a horrible event. Its another example of how troubled youth in America find outlets by killing people.

The thing I have with this story is a quote from his foster mother that appeared in one of the articles. "She told the Omaha World-Herald that Hawkins showed her an assault rifle the night before the rampage, but because of his mild demeanor she wasn't alarmed" How can someone who has a range of emotional problems be considered safe with an AK-47. I am in no way blaming her for his actions, but a little better judgement on her part could have prevented this catastrophe.

Following a similar horrible trend
Mothers in Germany Arrested After Killing Children:
A 31 year old German woman was arrested after the bodies of her 5 children were found in the house yesterday. The kids were aged 3-9. The woman has a history of mental illness and is being considered the top suspect for the killings. In a completely different country, another German woman has been arrested twice! after the bodies of her three children were found in her home. The woman was originally arrested after police found the body of her dead baby, however she was released because the death was deemed an accident. She re-arrested after police searched her home and found anothe one of her children in the freezer. She later admitted that the 3rd child's body was hidden on the porch.
What is going on? There are more and more stories like this every day. Not just of killings, but of mother's killing their children. I cannot express how concerned this makes me, I do not know how a mother could do such a thing.

On a much lighter note
There is a CNN article telling people how to behave at holiday parties, sort of a "do's and dont's" list. I mean look all you need to NOT do is get smashed and act like an asshole. It only takes a complete lack of common sense for a person to get fired from their holiday party actions.

Florida Man Beaten by Police:
This is another example of Florida's finest. They must be the worst police force in the USA. There are more stories about them than anywhere else. The story is that the man was being chased by police in a stolen car, after which he fled on foot and was caught in an airport parking lot. The cameras captured the police officers punching and kicking the suspect, while he was showing no signs of resisting. It gets better since he was being chased as a suspect in an armed robbery which he was not involved in. The car was listed as stolen by his wife who was in a spat with him. The dude is going to jail, but he could still sue for a lot of money after getting his ass kicked illegally.

Man Shot, Killed By Toddler:
A Georgia man was shot and killed by a 19 month old toddler Tuesday night. He was in a recording studio when a toddler, presumably the child of a friend, came in and grabbed a loaded gun that was in the room. The child then caused the firearm to go off and he was shot in the head.
Now common sense, (again) dictates that one does not leave a loaded firearm within reach of a toddler. It is very sad that such a thing happened, but these things happen so needlessly its rediculous.

Check out this story which is about what has to be the fattest baby in the world.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=499925&in_page_id=1811#StartComments

Beware Israeli Crime Lords:
An Israeli judge has been placed under 24 protective detail after her house was broken into last night. At the same time a relative of hers house was also broken into. Earlier in the week, the judge sent reputed mob boss Assi Abutbul and Jerusalem kingpin Eli Naim known as "the magician" to prison on various small charges. Its kinda like putting Al Capone away for tax evasion. Abutbul stated to the press that "she would pay the price" for convicting him.

Led Zeppelin May Tour after Reunion Concert:

Robert Plant has mentioned that there is a possibility for the band to play additional shows and perhaps go on tour after their planned reunion show this month. Asked about the probability of the tour, he said the less people talk about it, the more likely it will happen. The more people talk adds pressure to the band, he said. SO EVERYBODY PLEASE: SHUT UP! I really really want to see Led Zeppelin in concert, so don't ruin this for me.

Robotic Soldiers:
Check out this story, it will blow your mind its so cool. http://money.cnn.com/2007/12/03/technology/robotex.fortune/index.htm?postversion=2007120403?cnn=yes

And now for why Americans are stupid
Couple Arrested for Satellite Scam:
A Louisiana man and his wife have been arrested after convincing friends and family that the wife was a CIA agent who could use her "connections" to use a satellite to find out what is medically wrong with them. The couple scammed these people out of more than $800,000. Why arent the morons who gave their life savings away being arrested for stupidity?

Dog Causes Grease Fire:
A kansas woman was frying some fish when she went to take the garbage out. While outside, her dog managed to close the door behind her, thus locking the woman out of her house. The fish set the house ablaze, causing more than $50,000 in damages. Beware your pets, or they'll get you back.

Dirty Microsoft Santa:
I am not sure how to explain all of this technical jargon, perhaps my pal Gizmo would be able to, but he's not here. So instead, follow this link: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22119458/

Teen Walks for First Time after Six Flags Accident:
I don't remember reading about this when it happened, but a girl has both her feet chopped off in an accident on Six Flags' Super Man ride. The girl has taken her first steps today on her new prosthetic feet.

Girls Dominate Science Fair:
Normally I wouldn't care about this, but the things they did research on was rediculous. Read the article http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22088018/
I remember doing a science fair project where we made hot chocolate through legos, and that was advanced. Kids these days....

An interesting tidbit, some physical therapists are now starting to use Nintendo Wii as a treatment. I thought that was cool.

Entertainment news:
Britney threatens Paris with a new sex tape. (although it would be a good source of income for the former pop queens drug habits), and Chris Rock is being chastised by Oprah. The article was interesting because it made it seem like Oprah was the queen of black people and Chris Rock should be concerned her irked her. Why would Chris Rock care?

Thats all I got
Keepin it real from the loop.