Smelly Camels,Ninjas, and Strippers...

WELCOME BACK!
well atleast lets hope so. I have found so much gold today, I figured I might as well post.
Although I will say I want to stay away from politics for a while, since its really boring now that Hillary is out.


Anyways, here we go. Please feel free to share today's post with your friends.

Starting with our headline of smelly camels, villagers in India have started using camels to help ward away pachyderms (thats elephants for your ignoraNuses) from their land. In recent years as many as 400 people have been trampled to death by elephants, who also drink their rice wine and destroy crops. As it turns out, the stench of the camels keeps the elephants away.
It must be so nice to live there.

A 79-year old farmer living in Batavia, Ohio has gotten himself a brand spankin new outhouse after refusing for months to get rid of the old one. The previous wooden outhouse was from the 1960's and apparently had become somewhat of as health hazzard. County officials tried to make him get rid of it, but he persevered and a charity group stepped in and bought him a new, bigger, outhouse with a septic tank and all. Such a touching story. When asked why he prefers and outhouse to a toilet indoors he stated: "When you're in a house, sounds carry," Preston said. "Everybody knows your business."
Agreed. I think more people should crap outside.

Police have shut down a "brother bus" that had been touring around south Florida offering customers $40 all you can drink, along with strippers who offered to perform various acts for cash. Apparently this was very successful. Who knew?

Hat tip to my friend Danny for this one. An enraged man robbed a 7-11 in Monrovia, MD and began hittig the clerk with a banana, then the clerk pulled out a knife. This of course lead the reporter to include this gem into the article: "The clerk pulled out a knife, and the man with the banana split." Buh dum bum!

A man who had been arrested for tresspassing and was jailed for 2 days, was re-arrested for indecent exposure after leaving the jail naked. He was found walking down the road.
Now I know the man is nuts for not putting on clothes, but isnt it also the guards fault for letting him leave naked?
Something is off here. Well more than one thing.

A New Jersey public school was locked down temporarily after someone reported seeing a ninja in the woods next to the school. That's right, a ninja. It turns out the "ninja" was a camp counselor dressed in black holding a plastic sword. He was on his way to a camp costume party.
Only in Jersey.
A ninja? Really?

This is by far the best for today:
Two poorly scheduled golf tournaments led to a run in between youth golfers and strippers. The Gold Crown Junior Golf Association tournament for youngsters age 7-12 was wrapping up when a limousine full of strippers pulled up on the course. They were arriving to be caddies to the golfers for the Shotgun Willie's Charity Golf Tournament to benefit breast cancer. Since the youth tournament started late, they all had to share a clubhouse while the kids ate lunch. Club officials did state that the women were not allowed to go topless (atleast while the kids were there). Here's a great clip from the article: A woman told a reporter that the event drew curious questions from her children, who asked her why the men joining the strippers had water guns and why the women wore only their underwear.
Classic.

That's all for today. Leave one.

Keepin it real from the loop

R.I.P. George Carlin

Guess who has some free time today.

An American hiker who was lost for 3 days was rescued in the Alps after attaching her sports bra to a logging cable. The workers at the base of the mountain saw the bra and called authorities.
I wonder if they eagerly expected to see a freezing cold topless woman?
Disappointingly enough she was smart enough to keep her shirt and jacket on.

A 64-year old Australian man has been charged with drunk driving. In his wheelchair. The man was found by police slumped over on an exit ramp of the highway. The man blew a 0.301 which i guess is high in Australia ( I don't know what system that is in). He apparently was travelling 9 miles from a friends house.
Who goes 9 miles in a motorized wheel chair?

Appliance Golf- look into it.
http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/2008/06/23/and-the-fastest-growing-stupid-sport-is/

George Carlin was a great comedian. His delivery was amazing. I know I wasn't alive back in the 60's and 70's when he was a big deal, but I remember him as everyone in my generation does, as Rufus and Cardinal Glick (the inventor of the "Buddy Christ"). He will be sorely missed in the entertainment world.

Poll

Hi guys,

All I have is more apologies ("How much should I be?....") Anyways, its been really busy at work and I have been training a bunch of new people every week and I am taking the LSAT this monday, so one area of my life had to suffer and it has been the blogging. Sucks.

Anyhow, going along with all the Simpsons rhetoric I have seen, I was thinking of perhaps polling your top 5 episodes, you know, give the people something to talk about.

I'll start with mine:

1) The Scorpio episode. Hands down my personal favorite for EVERY reason.
2) The one when Homer goes into space and eats all the chips to save the day.
3) The Grimesy episode when Bart gets his own factory.
4) The one when Barney sobers up and then at the end when he wins a lifetime supply of beer goes "just hook it to my veins!!"
5) Every earlier episode when Moe has to run into the back of the bar and tell whichever type of minority to get rid of whatever illegal animal, substance, or activity back there. Example: Shamu

Feel free to list your own, debate, or just wait a little while longer till I can start really writing again.

By the way, if you haven't seen Idiocracy, which I have seen like 1,000,000 times, you should. It will expand your mind.

I expect good resonses.

keepin it real from the loop

really?

Some dud dropped over $6,000 for a watermelom in Japan. 6 grand!
He knows it goes bad after a while right?
It reminds me of the old old old school Simpsons episode when Lisa befriends Bleeding Gums Murphy and he tells her about how he was successful and then blew all his money on his faberge egg addiction.
I hope that watermelon is the greatest thing he has ever tasted.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24997464/

R.I.P. Bo Diddley- Rub My Back!

As some of you may know, one of the all time great rockers died yesterday after complications from a heart attack he suffered last year. Bo Diddley is the author of the "Bo Diddley Beat", something you may not have known by name, but most certainly would know by sound.

A quick story about Bo. The summer after my Freshman year of college I went to see an all day concert at Dover Downs (which by the way is the biggest thing I have ever seen, if you have not seen a NASCAR speedway you need to). So anyways, it was an amazing amazing concert. We missed the opening 2 acts which was ELO (electric light ochestra) and Blood, Sweat, and Tears (Who I would have loved to see). However we did then get to see, in order, Peter Frampton, Bo Diddley, CCR (without fogerty obviously, but it was still awesome) and CSN.

So Bo Diddley gets up there and he is so old he can't stand for too long so he is sitting in a chair, but still jammin away. In my "youth" I was unawaare of his significance in rock 'n roll which I would not fully learn for another 2 years, but I did know that this guy was awesome.

Anyways, into the "Bo Diddley" jam, where he's does his famous beat and then goes "Heyyyy Bo Diddley!" then the crowd does it, and it was lots of fun. Then this little of bent over man, gets up and does a little jig and points at like half the women in the audience one at a time and goes "I wanna do it with you, and you, and you, and you" and then he sits down. But of course not before yelling "heeeey Bo Diddleyyyy, RUB MY BACK!"
It was quite possibly one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Man what a great day. So that was my Bo Diddley Experience. May the rock gods treat him well and rub his back whenever he needs.

That's all for today. Leave one.

Keepin it real from the loop